Apr 22nd 2013 9:29AM Diana,
First off, you buy a house with BOTH of your names on the deed, loan, everything, so it is not one or the other's, it is both of yours. And if you are planning to marry someone, you better know them well enough to know it is going to last, or don't get married at all...much less buy a home, have kids, or even take their last name! Sure, not all marriages last, but why not have faith when getting married that it is going to last, and you and your husband/wife are going to be part of the 50% that stay together? You sound very bitter, and that makes me sad for you. Also, why waste money on rent when you could be building equity in a home and property? Even if you do end up divorcing, at least all that money hasn't gone down the drain!
Apr 22nd 2013 9:18AM We had been dating for four years, monogamously with marriage in mind, and we took our time and designed my engagement ring and his wedding band, then were engaged for just under a year when we found the house of our dreams. We had both been saving for a long time and I got a settlement at the perfect time, so we bought our home in April before getting married in June. We didn't live together before we bought the house, and as it took a while to move all the furnishings we had been buying over the time we'd been together, we actually only lived together for about a month before our nuptuals. We loved having a home of our own to come back to after our honeymoon, and we have spent the year since making it exactly the way we wanted, from landscaping, painting, and putting in hardwood flooring. It was a great decision for us, and with his job as an executive engineer being only fifteen minutes away and me back in school working on my Master's and running a business from home, it was perfect for us! We also got a great tax break for the purchase and all the work on the house, so that worked out well, too! It made sense for us, and I'm sure it makes sense for others who want to start their married life in a new home that is all theirs to make new memories in. Not all newlyweds are the same, or are able to do this, but from our experience, I highly recommend it!
May 21st 2012 6:40PM I have a terrilbe neighbor who tried to stop the former owners of our home from selling the house to anyone but him. It seems he used to sleep with the woman who bought the land he now lives on as well as this land, and she paid for the construction of both homes. He and her heirs have a longstanding hatred because of his mooching and stealing their father's estate from their step-mother when she was quite elderly (he was the grief counselor at her church). He physically blocked the common drive with his car, so we had to park across the street to do a final walk-thru, and physically confronted both me and my fiance to the point that police were called. Now he has constructed a privacy fence just on our side of the property line, and we are getting ready to take him to court. This man is simply a jerk, and my only hope is that since he is 73 he croaks before too long and his widow moves to some retirement facility!
Jun 7th 2011 2:55AM Well, she may not be a ho, but she sure is wearing the uniform!
If you have no talent for singing, your ticket sales for a tour are so bad they may cancel it, what are you left to do? Obviously, you must shock the audience at your first show with some girl-on-girl action, over the top sexual antics, and overall trashy behavior (ala Madonna when on her last tour when all she had were remixes of her old songs, and it looked like Grandma in a corset masturbating through the show with gay guys...never understood that...). The best thing this girl could do would be to go home, stop with the ho-wear and ghetto hair, and work on trying to sing something we can stand to hear on the radio. Oh, and please! No more videos about getting raped and taking revenge on the guy, or how bad hitting girls is...we all know Chris punched her, but I'm so tired of the story I'M ready to beat the hell out of her so she can talk about a WOMAN beating her up!!!
May 31st 2011 3:14AM Totally agree! If you can't keep up the manicure, don't paint them! Just keep your nails short and clean. If you can't afford to keep up the coloring on your hair, do one dye to match your haircolor to the roots, for God's sake, a box of color is less than 10 bucks and takes a half hour...PLEASE! And if you're just too lazy to wear more than a few outfits during the summer, just be a hermit and don't come outside! We don't want to see you! Some of us still like to bathe, wear makeup, fix our hair and wear nice clothes and shoes. Promoting laziness in America is pretty much singing to the choir, though, isn't it? You really had to stretch your literary skills writing this column, especially with the pictures of Lilo and Drew as your 'role models'. UGH...not the best examples of style there, idiot!
Apr 7th 2011 8:16AM Where are all the Obama bumper stickers now? I found it hilarious how all the black celebrities were announcing that they were voting for him simply because he was black (Steve Harvey,Sinbad, etc)and when it was pointed out to them that they should be following Dr. King's advice and look at "not the color of skin, but the content of character", they all got up in arms. Well, I had no problem with a black president, I have a problem with a dumb, lazy one who can't hold a press conference without teleprompters, plays golf all the time, and appoints 'czars' rather than learning the issues and facts for himself. He's a hugs failure and joke, and we need someone who can represent and lead us with dignity and honor, not this jackleg!!!
Mar 31st 2011 1:17AM My daughter's senior year in high school was a nightmare when it came to getting her up in the morning. Nothing worked! By the time her principle called to tell me she had missed 47 days, I decided to get 'Madea' on her butt, and got out the belt!! I didn't have to actually hit her with it, but I came pretty close, whacking the heck outta the covers! Believe me, they move quick when Mom is swinging a leather belt and screaming! I had tried everything else, including escorting her to school in my robe and slippers with pink curlers in my hair, walking her from class to class ( I had to take a day off of work to do this). That lesson was in the fourth grade and lasted until her senior year, so it was worth it. As a mom, you gotta do what you gotta do. The pics all her friends took and posted were hilarious and I had literally at leat 30-40 other moms say that they threatened their kids with the same thing, and it helped them out!!!!
Mar 26th 2011 5:51AM I'm very glad the author enjoyed her experience getting a makeover, however, she was no 'bombshell'. Sorry, but her makeup was not that different, other than a bit of red lipstick and some false eyelashes, and she looked like someone had curled, but not actually done much else to her hair. If they had done a GOOD makeover, maybe we would be more impressed, but the after picture just looks like they ringed her eyes in black and threw a bit of color on her lips. A better makup artist would have had better shadowing on her eyes so they didn't look so round and cow-like, and contoured her cheeks to look a bit more rosy and healthy, instead of the pallor. For all you writing how you 'love' not wearing makeup and not doing your hair, why don't you just admit it...you're lazy, and you have a fear that if you actually LEARN the skills it takes to properly apply makeup without looking like a clown, you won't be any more accepted by people than you are now. Makeup is a true joy for me and other women who love this feminine art. I can change my look to suit my mood, my outfit, my destination, and I adore it! I change my look from day to evening, day is more modern to go with my serious business suits, night is a bit more daring to go with my flirty evening wear to enjoy an evening with my fiance, and when I visit my soon-to-be in-laws or my parents, I wear just the right amount to look my best without overdoing it. I don't see that curling the author's hair was such a big deal, millions of women every day spend the time curling and straightening and styling their hair, the fact that she thinks this is so out of the ordinary shows she needs some work in the femininity department. Even the guys I know spend time on their hair!!!! God, it takes me fifteen minutes to curl my hair and style it, and I have long red hair halfway down my back, and I go at it with a curling iron after blowdrying some gel mousse into it, a bit of scrunching with a good spray, and if I'm in the mood a nice clip or accessory. The only men who want plain Jane women are the ones who are insecure, don't think they deserve beautiful self-assured women, and are terrified if their ladies look good someone will steal them away. That's why they convince them not to take care of their looks. Don't believe me? Go to your friends who NEVER get a date and ask their opinion, then go talk to you guy friends who are popular with the ladies. You'll see I'm speaking the truth. Personally, I want a guy who always wants to look his best as well as being beautiful inside, and I want to be the same always. I think I'll continue to always work on both! You don't have to trade one for the other!!!!!
Mar 21st 2011 7:53AM I agree, it is ver harsh. As being manipulative is a learned behavior, it can also be UNLEARNED, but it takes time, dedication and counseling. It also takes a strong partner who can diligently point out when their partner is being manipulative. I find it amusing that the author of this article and book seem to be pointing the finger mostly at men, when this is in fact a woman's line of defense in a relationship most often in my experience. In my studies for m PhD in psychology, the couples I have had the chance to analyze tend to have anger and direct opposition from the males and manipulation from the females. Men are physically stronger and tend to use intimidation as their mode of of control, while females use their brains to 'work' their men to get what they need. Call it manipulation or games, it is what it often takes to get your man to come home on time, take the garbage out or quit spending money on trivial items like video games or expensive sporting equiptment when the house needs vital repairs or the kids need new shoes. Manipulation does not always mean that the you are making your partner miserable either. That is the extreme. I freely admit that I will manipulate my beloved into wearing an outfit that looks wonderful on him for a family outing so he won't put on the same jeans and polo shirt for the hundredth time. I do it by complimenting him on how good he looks in it, how proud I'm going to be when everyone sees how handsome he is, how well he wears his clothes, etc. This is positive reinforcement, but manipulation none the less. Should he leave me for it? Of course not! Sometimes it takes a bit of convincing to get our partner to do things that are good for them, whether it's eating right, picking up their socks and underwear off of the floor, or being a bit nicer when they come home from work after a long day and aren't as respectful as you deserve. No one should be made miserable or unhappy in a relationship, and if you are being mistreated by all means leave! Doing right by one another is key to a healthy relationship and if you don't both grow together and learn from each other what it means to please the other you are just wasting your time.
No one deserves to be abused, and if if you're a doormat, you are the one who layed down!
Mar 10th 2011 2:38AM OK, as a mother to a beautiful daughter who grew up nice and normal, not over-sexualized or immoral, who watched all the Disney movies, this article is a bunch a balogna! The part where she says that little girls don't care about being attractive or sexy is absolute nonsense! My daughter was fascinated with my makeup, high heels, dresses, stockings and shaving from the time she was a toddler! She loved all things girly, and I remember one time when she was four when she got hold of my razor and shaved her legs on the sly! The idea that a fairy in a movie is going to make a little girl into some kind of a tramp is ridiculous, fairies have long been portrayed in skimpy little outfits, beautiful faces, and lovely hair! They are ultra-feminine, and to change them into some kind of a 'boyish' or gender-neutral figure would be against all the history and imagination that goes with a little girl's (and big girl's) love of fairys and fairy tales!!!! Pirates are supposed to be big and burly, and crocodiles have big sharp scary teeth, and fairies are lovely creatures that are the ultimate little feminine creatures with wings! Don't mess with our imaginations and the characters we love!!! If you find Disney movies offensive, there is a simple solution, DON'T GO SEE THEM!!!!
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