Lemondrop

Ask CJ -- Can I (and Should I) Date My Friend? {Lemondrop}

Oct 30th 2009 1:32PM omg, cj, i i wish someone had given me that invaluable piece of advice you gave coco (above) 5 years ago, when i was in her same situation, to wit:

"When he talks about his problems with girls (he dates, a lot) I want to hold him tenderly in my arms while their bodies decompose slowly in my basement. Dude Friend, for his part, has never so much made a move except for the occasional drunken joke about us sleeping together."

i just can't help marveling at that gem of wisdom you shared: "he's not making a move because he knows he can't deliver what a relationship with you would require." THAT TURNED OUT TO BE SO TRUE!!!!!! only 5 fucking torturous years later (some of which, dear cj, you had the misfortune of patiently enduring), couples therapy, 12-step programs, you name it, did i finally surrender!!

anyway, not that i would have listened, but excellent, excellent advice, cj.
as they say, retrospective vision is 20/20, and here's what i've learned:
RED FLAGS (they mean you step on the brakes, not the gas!):
- he dates A LOT, revolving door style. i mean, forever revolving.
- leads you on but never delivers (and does this with any woman he encounters - and he's always encountering women).
- always talks shit about the women he dates, how this or that is wrong with them.
- you feel you're different and that his problem is simply that he hasn't experienced YOU yet >>> this one means: RUN, DON'T WALK!!!

but again, if you're anything like i used to be (oh god, i hope i learned my lesson!), you're not gonna give two shits and go for it anyway. good luck to you.

cj dear, you are the best.