Lemondrop

Dolly Parton's a master teacher: She taught us about feminism. She taught us about adultery. She taught us how to walk upright when balancing humongous fake boobs. (Double X)

Katy Perry puts diamonds on her fingers? Kissing girls is one thing, but wacky manicures is taking it way too far. (BellaSugar)

Cloth is overrated, and these paper duds are super-cute. Who needs real clothes anyway?! (Flavorwire)
In case you haven't already, you'll be hearing the "Precious"-should-win-an-Oscar diatribe ad nauseum over the next few months. Here's a crash course. (Moviefone)
Taylor Swift, the Pussycat Dolls, Avril Lavigne -- they're all guilty of a little old-fashioned girl-on-girl sexist lyrics. (The Sexist)
When it comes to reaching that euphoric-physical-sexual peak known as orgasm, we're all different. What brings you to the big O? (The Frisky)

Before there was Carrie Bradshaw, there was Cher Horowitz, the misguided matchmaker cum fashionista of her Beverly Hills high school. She's Paris Hilton with a heart (and a brain), and her closet was the envy of every 16-year-old girl in 1995. We're campaigning to bring back Cher's killer style for 2009 -- but how? That's where our fashion expert Brian comes in, with some tips on pulling it off.

Brian says: Luckily, Cher's style wasn't quite as dated as some of her mid-'90s contemporaries (no flannel shirts here). Her look was upscale prep. Think Gucci meets the Gap. Cher rocked the sexy schoolgirl look way before Britney -- and with much better hair.

It sounds like a bridezilla's worst nightmare: A Welsh couple found out their wedding cake was a fake made of polystyrene only after trying to cut into it at their reception.

As bride Aimee West told the Daily Mail, "It was a lovely occasion and the ceremony was going to be the icing on the cake -- only there was no cake."

The snafu happened when West discovered four hours before the wedding that bakery Creative Cakes had forgotten to bake her cake. Creative promised to get West a cake in time for the ceremony.

They delivered it later, but it was the bride's mother who discovered the cake was a fake right as the couple was going to cut it.

Meet our new skunk soul mate, Mr. Bumble. Just like us, he tends to wear a lot of black and white and, also like us, he's more than a little obsessed with bacon. Mr. Bumble is addicted, say his handlers, to bacon sandwiches -- he eats two a day.

Bumble would fit in just great with the other amazing animal chubs we've found. Sure, they could stand to lose a few, but we can't help but love their fat, furry ways.

Unemployment rates rose from 9.8 percent to 10.2 this October, which means there are 15.7 million people in America who are currently unemployed. I'm one of them. I've been looking for work since last October. I've had a couple short-term gigs that helped me get by here and there, but for the life of me I can't find a regular full-time gig in my chosen career field.

I look all the time, but there's just nothing out there. I apply for lots of jobs that I'm not right for. I mean, why not? But still, it seems hopeless and doesn't feel very good.

On a more positive note, President Obama signed a bill today extending unemployment benefits for 14 additional weeks. That's good news for many people whose benefits have or are about to run out this holiday season. I know the money will be extremely welcome when I get into my unemployment extensions.

Please God let me find a job before all of my money disappears. That's all I can think. It's a mantra in my head.

Balk Like an Egyptian
Islamic conservatives aren't pleased with Beyoncé's plans to perform at the Red Sea Resort in Port Ghalib, Egypt, calling the show a "nudity concert." We think they're probably just as sick of "Single Ladies" as the rest of us. (via Perez Hilton)

Standing by Her Man
Despite the fact that her husband Josh Duhamel has been accused of cheating (and not for the first time) Fergie is standing by him. The singer calls the recent allegations that he hooked up with a stripper "nonsense," even though the dancer in question passed a lie detector test. (via The Hollywood Gossip)

Whoa, Daddy
Kevin Federline may be a father for the fifth time, according to reports. Girlfriend Victoria Prince is supposedly pregnant, although an insider says that Big K does not want another Baby Fed. Not as much as the rest of the world, Kev. (via Hollyscoop)
Iron (First) Lady
Michelle Obama will participate in an episode of Food Network's "Iron Chef" where the contestants must use food from the White House garden in their recipes. (via Celebitchy)
Pole Model
She may have been named the worst celebrity influence of the year (mostly due to her stripper-esque dancing antics), but Miley Cyrus says she still wants to be a role model to America's youth. (via In Case You Didn't Know)
Motormouth: Sharon Osbourne
"She does look like a hairy a------. She is a lovely lady. You just want to say, 'God Bless' and here's a Gilette razor." -- Sharon Osbourne ,on Susan Boyle. (via DListed)

It's a great week for movie mashups. But when isn't it? Answer: International Wet Blanket Week.

While it lacks the sheer brain-throb-inducing level of last week's techno mashup, it's packs the same conceptual punch and "Wow, I Bet This Took a While" factor. It's from the Internet warlocks over at Videogum, and it's worth a watch or six. We're stunned that they left out "To Wong Foo: Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar" (truly the "It's Chinatown, Jake" of our day), but we're willing to forgive. Enjoy! (Thanks, Videogum!)

There's sex you wish you could forget about, and then there's sex so good it blows your mind and you can't remember it. Seriously.

It's called transient global amnesia -- it's temporary, and it can happen after vigorous exercise, hitting your head, or having sex. These activities cause a change in blood flow by creating pressure in the brain's blood vessels. This, in turn, causes a lack of blood flow, which makes the region of the brain responsible for recording new memories, the hippocamus, incapable of doing its job. To put it simply, you have such a mind-blowing orgasm your brain stops working, and it's going to be awhile before it starts again. People with a history of headaches or migraines are more likely to experience TGA.

The good news is it's a short-term condition and does no real damage -- the only thing lost because of TGA is a few hours of memories ... so hump away!