Lemondrop

Oh, look! More proof that listening to stereotypes is an utter waste of time.

According to data in the 2002 National Survey of Family Growth, which was only recently analyzed, overweight women were more likely to have had sex with men than women with a "normal" body mass index, pretty much debunking the whole "big girls don't get any" myth.

But interestingly (and according to us, even more importantly), it seems the initial reaction to this news feeds into the false stereotype.

"These results were unexpected, and we don't really know why this is the case," said Bliss Kaneshiro, an assistant professor at the School of Medicine at the University of Hawaii.

What Doctors May Not Know
Assuming that heavier girls don't get any seems a little mean-spirited, but when you put a whole team of scientists on solving the puzzling phenomenon of a non-twiggy girl enjoying a healthy sex life, it just seems cruel. You may be wondering, "Wow, what's the point of such a jerky study?"

Glad you asked! Dr. Marie Harvey, a reproductive health specialist at Oregon State University who worked on the study, frets that your doctors won't concern themselves with your sexual well-being if they don't think you're getting any.

"Some medical practitioners may not do appropriate follow-up with women who are overweight; they might assume they aren't having sex unless they are told otherwise," she told reporters.

So if your physician doesn't find you conventionally attractive, she may not give you proper care? We don't know about you, but we're going to get a blowout and some new jeans before the next time we see our docs. You know, just so they don't assume you're too repulsive to merit attention, medical or otherwise.

There's a time to duck and cover, of course. But there's also a time to say "Screw it" and fight the good fight -- especially if you're protecting someone you love.

Sixty-one-year old Silver Star, Mont., resident Carol Lince chose the latter on Monday morning, when she found a large doe "ramming" her pet poodle, Little Fighter, into the ground. (Sadly ironic name for the dog, ahem.)

When she attempted to defend the dog by kicking the deer in the legs, the doe turned on her. After the deer head-butted her into a fence, she punched it in the head repeatedly. Eventually, her jabs sent the animal running.

We've always thought of wild deer as soft and cuddly, like Bambi. Apparently we were wrong. We're not sure what beef the unnamed doe had with Little Fighter, but we'd like to warn her that size doesn't always matter when it comes to battles in the animal kingdom.

These days the divide isn't between the rich and the poor: It's between the "real" and ... well ... "not real" Americans. Just ask John McCain and his running mate Sarah Palin. This "real America" talk began in North Carolina on Friday, October 17, when Palin told a small audience of reporters that the McCain camp believes "The best of America is in these small towns that we get to visit, and in these wonderful little pockets of what I call 'the real America,' being here with all of you hard-working very patriotic, um, very, um, pro-America areas of this great nation."

Then on Saturday, McCain spokeswoman Nancy Pfotenhauer built upon Palin's line of thinking with this response to Colin Powell's endorsement of Barack Obama: "I certainly agree that Northern Virginia has gone more Democratic ... But the rest of the state -- real Virginia if you will -- I think will be very responsive to Senator McCain's message." She then elaborated on what exactly she meant by "real Virginia": "Real Virginia, I take to be, this part of the state that's more Southern in nature, if you will."
So do you agree that there's a "real" America and a fake one? Either way, here are some quick and dirty lines you can whip out during your next cocktail-induced political squabble.

If you get what they mean by "real" Americans, say: "Clearly some Americans are more 'pro-America' than others. The evidence? Those huge American flags hung from windows and mailboxes ... and Sarah Palin's likeness mowed into that Ohioan's cornfield."

If you like being literal, say: "So you mean to tell me that a Bostonian, who lives on the very land our founding fathers fought on in defense of democracy, is not a 'real' American? There's something terribly wrong about that."

If the whole dialogue annoys you, say: "Real? Fine. Then McCain can be the president of Southern Virginia and Southwest Pennsylvania where all the 'real' Americans live."

At the bar, order:

The Real American
A shot of straight bourbon, distilled by those actual Americans in Kentucky.

Ever wished you could delete the memory of an ex-boyfriend, a bad relationship, a disastrous blind date? Well, science might just be catching up to the movies.

Dr. Joe Z. Tsien of the Georgia School of Medicine successfully erased specific memories from a mouse's brain, leaving its other memories completely intact and undamaged.

Basically, Tsien has found that it's possible to pinpoint a memory at the moment that the subject (the mouse, for now) recalls it. By overworking a signaling protein in the brain at that instant, the memory can be physically eliminated -- in the case of the mice, the unpleasant memory of having its tiny paw shocked with a mild electrical current.

While the procedure has proven successful on mice, Tsien says there's still much work to be done before it can be tested on humans.

While we're all for the removal of traumatic memories from mice minds, we're a little wary of the effects that this kind of procedure might have on humans. What if, in the effort to erase to a painful relationship, you somehow wiped out all of 12th grade English? We'd hate to accidentally forget the Cliffs Notes for "Hamlet."

A lot of people are familiar with the steady bounce of cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) and its proscribed 100 chest compressions per minute. But many don't know that, done correctly, it almost exactly replicates the rhythm of the 103-beats-per minute disco classic "Stayin' Alive." (Oh, the delicious symbolism!)

According to a study, medical professionals who learned to measure their CPR tempo with the famous disco song kept almost perfect (and potentially life-saving) time when performing the procedure. So if you're tasked to perform CPR, sing the Bee Gees' hit softly to yourself, because it's the one time in your life people won't make fun of you for it.

Serendipitous? Or just a clever teaching tool? Probably a little bit of both. But we still say the American College of Emergency Physicians (at whose annual meeting the study will be presented) should recruit John Travolta. You know, just in case.

Clearly everyone's attracted to Joan Holloway, the "Mad Men" character portrayed by Christina Hendricks. Even straight women are. Even me. And I think I've discovered the reason why. She's essentially the same character who shaped my youth. The one whose super-slitted red dress I'd always try to find for my dress-up bin. The one whose pursing lips and smoky voice I'd impersonate with my friends.

She is Jessica Rabbit.

Obviously, Jessica Rabbit of "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" oozed sex too, but not in a vapid, Playboy bunny sort of way. There was always something more to her. Let's look at some of the Jessica/Joan similarities that push the characters into the realm of the untouchable ultra-babe ... and why their bombshell personas give them an advantage at work.

Rule 1: Work Your Curves
Men embrace their masculinity at the workplace as a source of power -- whether it's in a meeting or on a conference call. Women, on the other hand, cover up their natural feminine qualities with hunched shoulders and pipsqueak voices.

Joan and Jessica? No way. They push femininity to its peak by accentuating the attributes many women try to hide. They walk chest first. They talk in their natural low, raspy voices. While most women (myself included) try on an outfit and then ask whether or not it makes their boobs/butt look too big, Jessica and Joan wonder if it makes their curves look too small -- and if so, out the window the outfit goes! We say: As long as you stop short of dressing like an actual pro, showing personal style and embracing your body can help your professional life.

Click here to read three more Joan/Jessica-approved rules for success.

Desperate times call for desperate measures, but since when did voodoo become a viable campaign strategy?

Voodoo priestess George Ann Mills claims County Commissioner Annette Kesting of Cobb County, Ga., approached her in August and asked her to use voodoo against opponent Woody Thompson. Among Kesting's requests? Cause him to have an accident, or, uh, give him cancer. Go, democracy!

As if that weren't shady enough, Kesting's checks and money orders then bounced. She's denying all allegations and claims that her beater car wouldn't even make the 240-mile trip to George Ann's shop in Blythwood, S.C.

That's a pretty beat campaign, considering the incumbent is bouncing checks and driving a hooptie. We'd rather be commissioner of a section at the Olive Garden where the pay is $7.75 plus tips.

In Other Weird News:
Diaper Thief Strikes Fear into the Hearts of New Yorkers (via Dumb as a Blog)
The Amazing Karate Monkey (via Best Week Ever)
German Pop Star Marries a Pineapple (via Jezebel)

Did you hear? Round II of the presidential debates took place last night at Belmont University in Nashville, Tenn. True to town hall form, moderator Tom Brokaw selected questions from a pool of thousands -- some of which he delivered himself, some of which were asked by members of the audience. Not gonna lie, we found the whole ordeal just a tad awkward. The candidates circled each other like tigers (or stray cats, depending on your point of view), the audience questioners' voices shook with nerves and Brokaw, with his so-called format, came off looking super nitpicky.

But in the end, one candidate had to come out on top. Who do you think took the Oct. 7th match-up? Feel free to use these lines in your next cocktail party debate.

If you think McCain won, say: "He's gettin' mean, he's throwing punches, but he's sticking to his style -- which is exactly what McCain's gotta do to make up ground. Shaking the naval retiree's hand? Pure class. Refusing to shake Obama's hand at the end of the debate? Pure politics."

If you think Obama won, say: "One of the truest and most valuable qualities of a president is being able to treat your opponent with respect. Obama did this. McCain, not so much. Simple as that."

If you think everyone lost, say: "Dude, can't they air this stuff during summer hiatus? I'm dying to know if Elliot Stabler will lose his crap after getting suspended on 'SVU.'"

What to order at the bar: "That One"
No real recipe, just point to whatever the guy next to you is drinking and saying, "I'll have whatever 'that one' is having."