Lemondrop

Ah, dancing. Quite possibly the most primal form of self-expression, dancing is fun, even liberating. But it's that sense of liberation, along with too many gin and tonics, that leads to the dreaded D-face: the unfortunate expression captured mid-dance.

As you prepare to venture out this New Year's Eve, keep our cautionary D-Faces gallery in mind. Laugh if you must, but remember, it could happen to you.

Family troubles, scandal, weight gain ... Janet Jackson doesn't let anything stand between her and an over-sexed performance, even a nationally viewed nip slip. But lately, she's canceled a string of concerts.

The culprit? Like 28 million other Americans, Miss Jackson gets nasty migraines (vestibular migraines to be exact, a form of the headache that causes vertigo). Fortunately, her missed appearances will reportedly be rescheduled.

The headaches, which tend to affect three times as many women as men, may have an unexpected upside. New research shows that women with a history of migraines are less likely to develop breast cancer. Scientists believe there may be a hormonal link, as women with high estrogen are more likely to get breast cancer, while migraine-sufferers tend to have low levels of it.

It's a small concession for all those missed performances of "Escapade," and for some of us, huddling under blankets in a pitch-black room, trying to do yoga without puking up our Topamax.

More basic facts on migraines -- and how to treat 'em -- on AOL Health.

Some may call it absurd. Some may call it vain. But Dr. Marcia Driscoll, a clinical associate professor of dermatology at the University of Maryland, assures us that lip balm addiction is real.

So what causes balm addiction? Dr. Driscoll points out that licking your lips can cause dermatitis, which is extremely drying -- and it's extra-tempting to lick your lips when they taste like candy.

Additionally, chapsticks can contain drying agents and irritants like menthol, scent and flavor compounds, and even plant-based ingredients. So the more you moisturize your mouth, the drier it gets -- sending you back into the vicious cycle of slathering on the balm.

Being a LipSmacker smackhead could also be all in your mind. Dr. Driscoll believes that most women severely overestimate the need to moisturize. In the grand tradition of "cosmeceuticals" -- beauty products pitched with enough science jargon to rival actual medicine -- the "lip care" industry is banking on women's obsession with the perfect pout. In fact, sales of lip balm grew to over $378 million last year, according to the Baltimore Sun.

Those who can't go five minutes without reapplying, however, do have a community of supporters to guide them through the agony of withdrawal. Lip Balm Anonymous, started by San Francisco Web site manager Kevin Crossman, is still in demand despite the fact that there have been no new updates in years. And, ironically enough, Facebook, a devastating addiction in itself, has 192 groups dedicated to chapstick (such as "Addicted to lip balm like CRACK").

We just hope this doesn't mean we'll be seeing lipstick-lover Gwen Stefani on season three of "Celebrity Rehab," barfing into a trash can as she withdraws from the gloss.

Tell us! Are you addicted? What beauty product makes you itch when you don't have it on hand?

Everyone's moving on with their lives and I'm still back in school. What am I going to do?

I feel for you. I really do. It must be agonizing -- stuck in limbo between pretend adulthood and real adulthood, pining for a sense of accomplishment in academia and yet unable to break immature, irresponsible habits. Procrastination's an awful vice, isn't it? Sigh.

The way I see it, you have three options. You could lock yourself in your bedroom, dwell on your completely meaningless existence and periodically break into heart-wrenching sobs while incoherently crying, "I'm such a loser!" over and over again until your tears burn away all uncertainty.

Or, you could isolate yourself from all of those pesky, successful friends and only associate with like-minded wastes of life who will continue to validate your sloth. Together, you and your new posse of misfits could not go to class, turn papers in late, switch from major to major and drink away your mediocrity at the cheapest happy hour. It would be a whole new world.

Or, better yet, you can just quit school altogether! I mean, clearly education is not your forte, so you may as well just forget about it. You can get a nice, low-skilled government job -- like a toll collector. I hear it's very lucrative. And you'd get a pension.

Oh, I almost forgot. There is a fourth option. Get yourself together and graduate from school. Commit to a major (News flash: It doesn't have to be the "perfect" choice, as long as you make one); study once in a while; turn in a paper from time to time; oh, I don't know, maybe go to class.

I know, I know, this is quite a rigorous schedule. Only kids in China are worked harder in school! But really, if you just put in some effort, not only will you be on par with your friends (who can then hook you up with jobs, since they're already plugged in), but you might actually learn something. And then you won't have to ask any more annoying questions.

Got a personal problem that requires some tough love? Leave it in the comments or e-mail us.

Whether you're moonily pining over the main man in your life or thinking of all the ways in which you despise your slovenly roommate, the same parts of your brain are at work. Scientists have discovered that when it comes to brain chemistry, there's a thin line between love and hate.

A recent report suggests that the brain's response to loathing is almost the same as it is to romantic love. The researchers hooked up 17 men and women to brain scanners and showed them an assortment of pictures of old flames, rotten co-workers, frenemies and one controversial president (middle initial "W").

Scientists identified a pattern called the "hate circuit" that was activated when the subjects viewed people they felt strongly about one way or another. To save you from science-term overload, that's basically a part of the brain that lights up like a Lite-Brite when triggered.

The important anatomical parts here are the putamen and insula -- regions that are linked to aggression and distress and are equally activated by love or hate. But, while the opposite emotions have some surprising similarities, the most notable difference is the absence of cerebral cortex activity in love. That's right: The area of your brain that's linked to judgment and reasoning has no part in romance.

Now we understand why we're such mushy morons until we're out of a relationship. We're done judging you now, Anne Hathaway.

The va-va-voom of a ruby dress, crimson lipstick or a scarlet bra really do elicit a physical response in men ... in the brain area, that is. (Joan Holloway really knows what she's doing.)

According to a study conducted at the University of Rochester, men find women dressed in red more sexually attractive than those dressed in other hues like gray, blue or green.

Over 100 college boys were asked to rate the hotness of several women decked out in different colors. Not only did they rate the red-clad babes in the photos more do-able, the guys also said they'd be willing to shell out extra cash if they were so lucky as to take those ladies on a date.

Now get ready for the sexy science behind the preference: The researchers who wrote the study believe that the sensuality of red has roots in our primate heritage. In the monkey world, males are especially attracted to females displaying red when they're most fertile (i.e., baboons' rosy behinds).

We have to say: Chris De Burgh's 1986 romantic masterpiece "Lady in Red" would have been waaaaaay less romantic if it was about ovulation.

Fugitive monkeys take over a local farm: Sounds like an awesome movie, but if it's your property they've decided to invade, it's somewhat less hilarious.

Such was the case for Florida ranch owner Ray Clark, who was baffled by stolen corn and malfunctioning tractors until he discovered he was playing landlord to a few quick-witted patas monkeys. The animals had escaped from Safari Wild, an as-yet-unopened exotic-animal park.

Clark says that when he reported the unwelcome tenants to the authorities, he didn't get much sympathy. "I don't think they believed me," he told reporters.

He installed motion-sensitive cameras and documented the primates' shenanigans (memo to Farmer Clark: YouTube, please!), which finally piqued the interest of the state. The owners of Safari Wild have been formally reprimanded for the situation and were ordered to round up the rogue animals.

Only ten of the fifteen marauders have been captured. But despite the financial annoyance caused by Curious George and friends, Clark's become used to them. "They've kind of made themselves at home," he admitted.

We say: Let the monkeys stay!

After last week's sad news about coffee shrinking our boobs, that resilient little cup o' joe has quickly redeemed itself with a new, surprisingly positive scientific study.

Research published in the Journal of Science suggests that merely wrapping your hands around a mug of French roast will make you feel all cozy. Except it's not the caffeine that makes your heart melt -- the study points to a link between physical temperature and emotional warmth.

Volunteers either got compresses (some warm, some cold) or coffee (hot or iced) -- and then were asked to evaluate a stranger's personality and decide whether to give that person a gift. Participants judged others more kindly and gave more away when exposed to the warmer option.

According to the researchers, these associations go all the way back to childhood snuggling with mom and dad -- which officially makes this study mushier than an episode of "Full House."