C. M. Rubin: The Global Search for Education: Women - Part 3
The Adulterous Behavior 30% Of People Won't Admit To
As any girl in the dating world will tell you, you can tell pretty much all you need to know about a potential boyfriend from the house he keeps. We're not saying emotional maturity is reflected in one's furniture ... except, yeah, we kinda are. It's not about whether or not the guy has money; it's about whether or not he's learned to make his house a home without Mom's help. So, without further ado, we'd like to present 10 home goods that separate the men from the boys.
More Than One Towel Some guys will seem to be so grown up, but will have been drying themselves with the same fraying towel for six to eight months, because "it still works!" That towel will smell like seaweed and sewage. Bonus: a bathmat!
Q-Tips
Other non-essential toiletries are also accepted here. Q-Tips are a sign of a leisurely trip to the grocery / drug store, where you have time to think, Now what could I use in my house?
Alcohol
Hooch that is just around and not for immediate drinking purposes, that is. Walking into a guy's house and watching him rifle through his fridge looking for that wine/liquor that's just been sitting in the back for a while always filled me with hope that I wasn't dealing with an alcoholic.
A Bed
A futon or a mattress just sitting on the floor will not do. Those metal bed frames that may be prison-issue are a good start.
A Strainer
A luxury kitchen item for a young man, because you can just use the pot and a plate / lid / your hand to execute the same task. A man with a strainer indicates either lots of spare income or a yen for cooking, and if you haven't yet talked about past relationships, this may be a clue that he lived with a woman before.
Matching Silverware
This guy might have been married before.
Entertainment Center
Or at least some kind of enclosure around his DVDs and electronics. An Xbox 360 is a fine thing to have, but an Xbox sitting on top of two dented boxes of cereal is no good. DVD racks, guys -- they help you see what you have.
Framed Art
For when a young man gets tired of gumming up the edges of his "Kill Bill" poster with tape.
BeddingSee also: something on the bed other than a dorm-issue blanket. We're not asking for 300-thread-count sheets or tons of pillows, but, you know, sheets are nice. As are actual comforters. If the bed is too decked out, however, we get suspicious about your motives.
Perishable Food Stuff
it sounds silly, but how many guys' houses have you been to where the only things in the kitchen are stale cereal, a thing of butter and a jar of pickles? How are you eating, guys?
This is just a helpful guide for ladies out there who are unsure of how to take in the glut of knowledge that comes with seeing a man's home for the first time. The first time I went to my now-husband's house, he was lacking signs 1, 5, 6, 9 and 10, so take this with a grain of salt!
Did we miss any signs of a grown man's home? Tell us in the comments!
Repurposed from Gynomite, with the help of friends! Thanks Jessi, Kristi, Fred and more!
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Tuesday 14 December
By Buck
Doesn't live with his mother.
Has a job.
Maybe those are to obvious....
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Saturday 18 December
By SHELIA GREEN
I've known men AND boys apparently. Some are super organized and clean and would even put me as a women to shame. Others though you can tell right off you'd have a lifetime of cleaning up after him. Pick up some tips and Free Stuff from SAVE CREATIVELY. CO M
Sunday 02 January
By ImportantFacts
Do Americans really not not know the difference between to (as in go TO the store) and too (as in also)? How about their (we went to their house), there (over there) and they're (they are)? Dumb, dumb, dumb.
Monday 03 January
By robdablogger1
Does the fact that he has A HOUSE mean little? How many single guys own A HOUSE to themselves? If the food isn't crawling on the counter and spiders aren't lurking in the bathroom, don't be so damn shallow especially if the only thing you're good at is spreading your legs and making grilled cheese sandwiches.
Monday 03 January
By Kevin
Ok, look at it this way. If he keep can cook and clean and keep a perfect house, what does he need you for.
Monday 03 January
By Holly
Many real men live with their mothers for a number of reasons. My 26 year old son left the military with enough money saved to pay cash for a nice car and to put money down on a home. With his military training, he could get a job paying $40,000+ a year but doesn't want to settle for that and is using the GI bill for college for which he gets BAH each month. He's living at home while in school because it would be stupid to live like a pauper while in college by buying a home.
He buys his own food and compensates me for any food I've bought or cook that he eats which amounts to very little as we have different eating habits and there are only about 4 things I cook that he likes. If we're out of necessities like trashbags, he'll buy them if I don't first. Were he not in the house, I would have certain fixed expenses and only charge him for what he costs me over them. He has his own bedroom and a man cave room which he has furnished with adult furniture. He shared half the cost of recarpeting the entire house. His part of the house is cleaner than mine, he does his own laundry and cleans up after himself in the kitchen and bathroom as well as cleaning other parts of the house he uses more than me.
When he has friends over I respect his privacy. Often, if there is something I need to ask him, I'll give him a quick call on his cell phone instead of intruding. I have no idea who he is dating since it's not my business unless he wants to tell me. When he is having a girl over, he'll tell me to insure his privacy. He comes and goes as he pleases. Half the time, the only way I know if he's home is if his car is here. We have a very good relationship and will do things together once in a while like going out to eat but basically we stay out of each other's lives.
Now if a guy is living with his mom, doesn't pay her for what he adds to household expenses, lives like a pig, has mommy cooking, cleaning and doing his laundry and his bedroom is still filled with furniture he's had since childhood; those would be big signs that you are getting a dud. Also, a guy who's living at home whose mother is into controlling his every move and depends on him for her very existence would not be a good bet. There are some great guys out there who do still live with their parents. Instead of making a snap judgment about a guy, look at the overall picture. If the guy's not worth the trouble, the signs will be obvious.
Monday 03 January
By David
this is funny my mom lives with me why you might ask she is almost 78
years old. And in the last 3 weeks she has fallen 2 times and I took
her ot the hospital both times. I refuse to put her in a nursing home
the people don`t get treated very well there. I have known too many
people like my grandmother that got stuck in one and i refuse to let
that happen to my mother. Most of then that get put in nursing homes
get forgotten about by family or it is a chore to go to them and
visit. I work on computers sense i got disabled from working on
vw,porsche,audi,mercedes and bmw`s and yes own a house of my own.
Lady`s if you wnat to be treated like a queen look at the way the
guy/man treats his mother and you will know right off the bat you have
a faily good guy. Guys if you want to see how the daughter is going to
turn out look at the mother, yes i kknow not in all cases but most of
the time you will know. And one mreo thing to remember Guys if you
realy wnat to know what the woman you are trying to impress is looking
for look at her dad most of them want someone like there dad. this is
just common snese people
Tuesday 14 December
By Stephanie
A clean bathroom, or at least one you can enter without plugging your nose and closing your eyes.
When I first met my boyfriend his bathroom was so disgusting, I refused to stay over night. It smelt like pee, had hair everywhere, and the walls of shower were black up to my waist.
Reply
Sunday 02 January
By rose
When you first met him you should have been going back to your own home instead of sleeping over. Maybe that is what "new "couples do these days. first week they know each other it's , "your place or mine?"
Monday 03 January
By Joe
Some of the worst bathrooms I've ever been in belonged to women. Here's a tip for you women to let us MEN know that you're not a slob......put things away when you're done with them. The counter area around the bathroom sink is not considered storage and curling irons/hair dryers are not meant to be used/stored around a water source. Also, does it really take 6 different types of shampoo to clean your hair? How much crap could you possible cram into a shower rack?
754 candles on 325 different decorative shelves thoughout a house is called "clutter" plain and simple. Figurines are not art.....they're over priced dust collectors that were impulse buys. Lastly, if the majority of women in the world met a man that fit all 10 of the criteria in this article they would see nothing more than a "friend". Secretly without owning up to it women love a project and they love a project they can take the credit for.
Wednesday 05 January
By ken in Atlanta
Steph,
If this is the kind of man that feels he has a chance with you, and you were prepared to "sleep-over", then you may try changing a few things. Maybe close your legs and look for men with enough character so that you, by default, avoid such a filthy person. If he "fooled you" and this was a surprise, then simply accept the fact that such people exist, politely move on. No bid deal.
I find that men of character very often expect much more than sex if they are going to let you into their lives in any significant way. Offer femininity and kindness, and make him wait for the "sleep-over". Avoid any hint of feminist behavior. If you don't like "His life, or lifestyle", find another man.
Women in Westernized countries often act as if they are sorting through the scum we call our "Male population" in order to find one that isn't a filthy, worthless, immature pig. These arrogant, hateful, misguided women will live lives of quiet desperation with neither a pig, nor a man, nor the warmth of a loving family. The "buzz" among men is a resounding rejection of these women. The world is a big place, and countless millions of good women are looking for good men.
Steph, Be what men are designed to be attracted to and you can chose from the best our gender offers.
Just my thoughts,
-Ken
Wednesday 15 December
By Amy
This article SO true: I have been married for 6 years - when we started dating, he was only 18 and lived with his mom BUT he had all of his own things: he had bought himself a nice bed with designer sheets, he had his toiletries locked up in his closet so his skeevy brother couldn't use them. He was a little younger than me but was very mature. We got pregnant (surprise!) right away and he totally was up for the challenges of being a dad and husband. He still skateboards, plays video games all night and lives on Hostess products and soda but he works hard for his family and is a true man. I hope you all are so lucky in love!!
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Monday 03 January
By Jane
Amy, I'm glad you're happy in love with your boy-man, but "he still skateboards, plays video games all night and lives on Hostess products and soda"??? How long do you think his health is going to hang on with that sort of life-style? Twinkees n pop are a sure recipe for diabetes! Are you a nurse? -because he's going to need one! He does video games all night -- but it doesn't keep him from working... Hmm... how soon before exhaustion sets in? You're not lucky in love -- I predict you're going to luck out before long.
Wednesday 15 December
By Angie
Let me just contrast and compare my loser 29 year old ex who still lives with mom to my current 37 year old mature guy.
My new mature dude has:
Shoe stretcher and shoe polish kit. This means that he attends business functions and is a professional.
An ice cube tray or ice server bucket. Don't laugh, but this means he has served guests and is mature in wanting to make guests (read: you, his classy woman) comfortable. 20 something year old man-boys just get their drinks right from 7-11 so they are already cold.
A full ironing board. The spray stuff that is supposed to fix wrinkles does NOT count. A real grown man has a full-on ironing board, starch and a closet that is neat and somewhat organized. He does not just do the "sniff" test when picking clothes to wear.
And it's not just an age thing. I have been in the apartments of 45 year old men who have stripper poles set up in the middle of their living rooms - and you can imagine the rest of their apartment.
Reply
Sunday 02 January
By Tiger Kitty
Oh come now. A shoe stretcher? An ironing board? I'm a middle-aged adult professional woman, a consultant for a major corporation, and I don't have either. I do have shoe polish but I'd rather let a professional do it on layovers when I travel, and permanent press was invented for a reason.
Stale linens and towels and a dirty bathroom, yes, that's a showstopper.
Sunday 02 January
By Tara
Not everyone fits your mold, Angie, and not everyone wants to fit it-it's also not a sign of being an adult just because one owns a frigging shoe stretcher.
I like my husband. He's easy-going and doesn't care about using an iron any more than I do; we suit one another and have for nearly twenty years. Your ex sucks, no doubt, but there's a lot more to being a mature adult than being able to use an ice bucket.
Monday 03 January
By Paul
I'm sorry, but some of those "esentials" sound kinda gai ..
If your b/f has them, better check and find out if he has another b/f, like maybe that Nate Buttkiss dude ..
Monday 03 January
By gr8bsn
I'm a professional blue-collar worker. I have no use for anything you just described. Unless they make a stretcher for steel-toe boots, I'll never one one. Unless I can iron my work jeans, I won't need one of those around either. I know, you're thinking I'm probably some uneducated idiot. Guess again! I have a Bachelor's degree and held a 4.0 GPA throughout grad school. Some of us actually got sick of the office and wanted to work outside. I make more money working with my hands than I ever did wearing a tie.
P.S. I don't own an ice bucket. I have a refrigerator that does the same thing, but I do have a martini shaker. I'll never pour your superficial ass one.
Monday 03 January
By smartz8184
Having an ex boyfriend who lives with his mother says more about you than it does him. Comparing your ex with your current boyfriend says more about you than either of your boyfriends. Shoe stretcher, ice bucket and full on ironing board in the apartment of a 37 year old single male screams of either a divorcee, metro-sexual or histrionic self absorbed maroon. Does he wear open chested shirts and a huge gold medallion chain too?
Thursday 16 December
By ell
a clean bathroom and kitchen!
Reply