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School's Back in Session
Jobs? Real world? Nah, we'll take grad school, thanks. (CollegeHumor)

Breaking Up Is Hard on You
Think your lonely adolescence was the only thing your parents' divorce caused? Psych! You also have more student debt. (InsideHigherEd)

Don't Fear the Reaper
Sure, the economy's on the upswing, but American life expectancy went down for the first time in years. (AOL Health)

Father Figure
A new study suggests that the unhealthy habits of a father or father-to-be can have an impact on both living and unborn children. (Jezebel)

Gone, Baby, Gone
A new study disputes the link between mental health problems and abortion. (Washington Post)

(Photos: Getty, AP)

Hey, Hey, We're the Monkeys
And you totally shouldn't try to smuggle us into the U.S. for cuddling/best-friendship purposes. (BuzzFeed)

Now I'm a Belieber
Just when you thought Disney stars couldn't make any more bad decisions, Selena Gomez is reportedly dating Justin Bieber. (PopEater)

Add One More Normal Activity to the List of Things Winona Ryder Doesn't Do
In addition to "paying for clothing," the actress tells Elle, "I don't use the Internet." (StyleList)

Check-check-check-ch-check It Out
Beats, brass monkeys and a biopic: The Beastie Boys are the subject of an upcoming short film starring Seth Rogen and Elijah Wood. (FreeIndie)

File Under "Pedobear Approved"
In addition to flashing and raccoon impersonation, Taylor Momsen tells The Guardian she's also a big fan of masturbation. (Dlisted)