Animal Shapes
This holiday season, show your family you're not effing around with delicious laser bacon. (Geekologie)

Brought to You by the Letter A
A recent study finds that women whose names end in A tend to have more sexual partners than the Hildegards and Maudes of the world. (Time)

Back Door Man
HIV/AIDS-infected male prostitutes, rejoice! The Pope has finally given you his blessing to use condoms during sex. (TheFrisky)

Bush Is Nailin' Palin
Notorious one-liner queen Barbara Bush said of Sarah Palin, "She's very happy in Alaska -- and I hope she'll stay there." (TMZ)

O, O, It's Magic
Thinking yourself off, or "energy orgasm" may be pretty cool, but we're still holding out for the day the energy sit-up becomes a reality. (Fox News)

(Photos: BuzzFeed, Getty)

Go Big or Go Home
Or get big at home and hide it cutely this Thanksgiving with some outfits to hide your food baby. (Refinery 29)

O, Holy Night, Vaginas Brightly Shining
Nothing says "kid-oriented religious holiday" like dressing up your business like a disco ball. Added bonus? Provided you're good and flexible, you can now vajazzle in the privacy of your own home. (TheGloss)

Unquenchable Booze Cravings Go From Sad to Adorable
Need a solution for all those christenings times when a flask seems like a tacky choice? Try the tiny, completely inconspicuous Altoids tin martini. (The Hairpin)

Kim Zolciak Pregnant, Wine Merchants Despair

"Real Housewife" Kim Zolciak has announced that she is expecting a child with her boyfriend, Atlanta Falcons player Kroy Biermann. (HuffPo)

Barbie Girl
For the girl who has no friends and wants to keep it that way everything, the Barbie hair chandelier. (Crushable)