Time's Up, Western Meadowlark
Who gives a crap about state birds when we have mother-effing state DINOSAURS? (BuzzFeed)

Space Oddity
Think your early science classes were fun? Students from an elementary school in the U.K. have sent a potato into space -- dressed as Santa, of course. (Asylum)

Baby, Baby, Baby, No!
Thousands of aborted fetuses, reportedly scheduled for cremation, were found in a Bangkok temple. (Jezebel)

Plop, Plop, Fizz, Fizz
How disgustingly bacony this water is. (Geekologie)

Rub One Out
Ever think, I love not being pregnant, but I hate the fact that I can't rub contraceptives all over my body? Strangely enough, you're not alone. (TheGloss)

(Photos: BuzzFeed, Getty)

Maybe They're Just Cee-Lo Fans?
Two employees at a California Burger King have been fired after printing "f**k you" on a customer's receipt. Have it your way, b*tch. (Gizmodo)

T.I. Hates Prison, Family-Friendly Language
A tip for Tip: If you hate waking up next to strange men, stop violating your parole. (PopEater)

"Jersey Shore"'s Full-Scale Assault on the Five Senses Continues
Cast member Angelina Pivarnick has released the reason we pray for deafness a single, entitled "I'm Hot." (Hollywood Life)

We're All Upset About "Battlefield Earth," But This Is Ridiculous
"Real Housewife" Sonja Morgan has filed for bankruptcy, claiming that John Travolta has landed her millions of dollars in debt. WTF? (The Frisky)

"Inferno" Is Over for Firecrotch
Lindsay Lohan has been replaced in the Linda Lovelace biopic by "Watchmen" star Malin Akerman. (Dlisted)