FEED IT.

ROT IT.


It's Only Natural
If you had a billion dollars, how would you spend it? If you're America, the answer is on cold, delicious (?) Natty Light. (Asylum)

Poor You
The consequences of even short-term poverty can be detrimental to a child's health. (CNN)

Smoke Two Joints
Do that every day, and you might as well give up on your dreams of having a job that requires cognitive functioning. (Gawker)

Kiss Off
Thinking about getting some? Sex isn't safe until you're using a condom and an EpiPen. (AOL Health)

Anxious? Read This Statistic About Your Impending Death
People who take sleep and anxiety medications may have a shorter life expectancy than those who don't. (MSNBC)

(Photos: Getty)

Define "Cameo"
Bill Clinton, on business in Thailand, has finagled an appearance in "The Hangover 2." (The Superficial)

Reunited and It Feels So Good
Britney Spears' parents have gotten back together in an attempt to get their daughter to wear a bra because they love each other. (TMZ)

Pickle Party
With the sponsorship deal with Hazmat falling through, LifeStyles condoms has offered to sponsor Snooki's upcoming birthday party. (NY Post)

The Red Menace
"Kick a Ginger Day" isn't so much fun when Chuck Motherf**king Norris is on the other end of that roundhouse. (BuzzFeed)

Somewhere Along the Line, the Pearl Would Be Handed to Me
Want the Kerouac girls without the Kerouac time commitment? On the Bro'd is here to help. (Urlesque)