I think I'm great at picking men, but if I had a penny for every time a friend met a guy I was dating and said, "You can do better," I'd have enough money to bail my ex-boyfriend out of jail. Kidding! No one keeps her pennies.
Anyway, my point is, sometimes we ladies don't choose too well when it comes to guys. True, it's hard to find someone with a comparable level of Awesome, but I mean, sometimes it's like we're not even trying, you know?
Well, relationship expert Dr. J.D. Block certainly knows, and he got so tired of hearing you bitch about "personality" and "good sense of humor" and other such nonsense, that he made a website to help you date. That's right, you don't even have to worry your pretty little head about it.
is (allegedly) a "social networking site that fuses together traditional dating and a 'New Age' experience." And it does! As long as "New Age experience" means acting like a total freak and posting photos of your "possible dating partner" for complete strangers to judge. Their motto: "Let the World Decide!"
This sounds like nothing can possibly go wrong. Just snag a picture while you're Facebook-stalking the guy you're interested in, upload it to the site along with your own photo, and watch a few episodes of Two and a Half Men or something for a few hours. Meanwhile, other weirdos will look at your photo and your prospective date's side by side and choose one of three options: "He Can Do Better," "She Can Do Better," or "Perfect Match."
I have a hard timing seeing CanDoBetter's social networking, traditional dating, or New Age experience angle, but hey, Dr. Block can certainly explain it, right?
Well, he tries in the press release for the site, which lets us know that "People on first dates are not looking for meaningful conversations" -- oy! -- "but are evaluating their date as a potential romantic partner." Right. People on first dates are evaluating their date as a potential romantic partner, but not by having meaningful conversations with
each other. Hell, not even by being on a first date.
The press release goes on to explain the hardship of dating in greater detail: "Although it's pretty standard for the man to pay for a first date, a single woman still might be picky when deciding to go out on those first dates. The reason behind women being picky is depending on what your date has planned; a first date outfit can get expensive or if you decide to leave early cab rides are expensive in most areas."
Not hot enough to make that Spanx purchase and 5 a.m. cab ride worth it? Better find out before you even leave the house. If you cancel now, you might still catch a "Frasier" rerun on TV before passing out with your arm still elbow-deep in a bag of Cheez Doodles.
And if he is deemed hot enough? Well, I can't think of a better way to start a blossoming romance. I mean, let's say the date's going awesome for you but they're just not feeling the chemistry. Too bad-majority rules, and 82 percent of voters call you a perfect match, so really, that's that. I mean, who's going to argue with those numbers?
And just imagine how flattered your date will be when you bring printouts of their CanDoBetter stats and show them that 67 percent of voters think you can do better than them!
And yet, there you are, selflessly enduring their ugly face anyway. You're a catch.
Diana Vilibert is a freelance writer in New York, and you can read more from her at www.diana-vilibert.com. She thinks you can do better. No, not you. The guy behind you. Aaaawkward.