Alcoholic Children, Rejoice!
Add a little pep to your ice cream social with booze-laden whipped cream. (Gizmodo)

Foursquare Invents the Bribe
Dennis Crowley, founder of the social networking site, endorsed the idea of receiving kickbacks to a crowd of college students. (Forbes)

Coming to a Sickbed Near You
It looks like a human, it dresses like a human, and now the Actroid-F robot is here to mimic your pain. (Engadget)

Gravy, Baby
An unhealthy diet isn't just bad for you, it's drowning your lil' swimmers. (The Awl)

Eating Now Officially Overrated
Food companies are implementing a front-of-package nutrition labeling system, so maybe now's the time to put down the pork rinds. (NY Times)

(Photos: Corbis)

Ring the Bell, School's Back
MC Hammer is bringing his two hype feet and history of good decisions back in the game, choosing to record a dis album aimed at Jay-Z. (Black Voices)

Two More Lonely People
Despite the hot-pants-wearing ray of sunshine that is their daughter, Miley Cyrus's parents, Billy Ray and Tish, have called it quits. (Dlisted)

Pop Music Now Oak-Scented
Ever wondered what your favorite celebrity smells like? If it's Taylor Swift, the answer is "expensive wood." (People)

Gossip, Girl
Blake Lively and her gravity-defying rack are back on the market following her split from Penn Badgley. (The Superficial)

Fainting Kittens, for Your Daily "Bawwww"
The only video on the Internet sadder than the Sarah McLachlan ASPCA ad is here to cutely ruin your day. (Jezebel)