OK, fitting into your college pants is a total coup, but surely having a career, friends, hobbies and a healthy relationship provide a greater sense of satisfaction?

Apparently not. A 24-year study monitoring the lives of thousands of Germans found that women derive more pleasure from being thin than from being in a committed relationship, and that being overweight is more upsetting and isolating than being single. (Thanks for not presupposing that being single equals being miserable, Germans!)

Basically, it boils down to people being so terrified of being overweight that they'd rather be alone with their thighs that don't touch than enjoy the company of others. Way to go, society.

According to the study, other ways to boost your happiness include being social, exercising and building a good home life. On the plus side, the study's findings may indicate that some of the social stigma and crippling guilt of being alone and independent is lifting.

For thin people, of course.

Here's a good piece on how seeing a dietitian can help you get that way.