Back in the day (and by that, we mean "Happy Days"), a gal would announce her relationship status to the world by strutting around the sock hop in her saddle shoes and poodle skirt with her boyfriend's letter jacket draped jauntily over her shoulders. What simple times: sharing malts, necking at the drive-in, ferreting out Commies together ... those were the days. Today, asking yourself "What would Pinky Tuscadero do?" is not apt to yield fruitful results. With the explosion of social networking sites like Facebook, suddenly the status of your relationship becomes fodder for 1,001 "friends."
If you're dating someone but don't mention it on your profile, people (including Loverboy) may start wondering just how serious you guys are. On the other hand, if you update your status to "in a relationship" too soon, your guy will think you're either psychotic or creepin' on the side. So, what's a woman who's interested in handling a potentially complicated situation with some courtesy and class to do?
First of all, says dating expert Tristan Coopersmith, author of the provocatively titled "Menu Dating: Taste-Test Your Way to the Main Course," you need to decide, along with your man, whether you are, in fact, in a relationship. Sounds pretty basic, but "if you do [blab about being in a relationship on Facebook] without giving him a heads-up, you run the risk of him commenting on your status update, 'With who?'" Ouch.
Once that's established, she says, "deciding to update this status should be mutually agreed to or at least understood by both -- just like if wedding bands are worn by a husband and a wife." Believe it or not, there are some people in this age of posting and tweeting one's every passing thought and bodily function (we're looking at you, John Mayer) who aren't into sharing every detail of their private lives with the world. Hear that, you unholy trio of Kardashians?
Make sure your sweetie's on board if you want to include your relationship status with him on your online profile. Coopersmith also advocates updating sparingly if you're the love-'em-and-leave-'em type. "If your tendency is to relationship rotate a lot, you may want to hold off on clicking, since dealing with the aftermath of changing it back to 'single' can be wildly unpleasant for women," she cautions. "Girls get bombarded with questions [and] condolences whereas guys get high-fives."
So what do you think? Should you even mention your relationship status on Facebook if you're not actively on the prowl? Are you guilty of changing your relationship status more often than Michelle Duggar changes diapers?












Comments:
Add a comment
Thursday 07 October
By CurlySarah
Relationship statuses are silly, I think. I don't even have mine showing on my fb - if I'm dating someone, great, the people who should know KNOW. And if I'm not - same thing. What drives me crazy are the serial daters (you know who you are)... just because you're "dating" - and I use that word VERY loosely - a guy for a few weeks does not make you in a relationship. EVERY relationship is blissful those few first weeks, right, or why stay in it? Just wait until you've been dating at least a month, maybe two. A fb friend of mine is constantly changing her status - different guys too - and a few of us comment on it all the time (on her fb page). It's annoying. And immature, I think.
Reply
Wednesday 27 October
By LadyRedbush
I used to have my status on facebook ("single"), but looking back it was mostly a reflection of my desire for male attention, since at the time I wasn't getting much in the real world. Now, four years and a number of flings/fwbs/casual-dating scenarios later, I've finally taken down the relationships status from my profile (about 3 months ago). Mainly to avoid the sticky situation mentioned above (staying "single" raises questions, but so does changing it too soon), but more importantly it's because I no longer feel the need to notify the world whenever I go on a date.
I think that's part of why status appeals to so many people--it's a way to vocally counter your insecurities ("see, I am attractive!"), though I wouldn't say it's the healthy way to go about it.
Reply
Friday 08 October
By frank
Nurturing women are hard to find or does she enjoy being a good person, considerate and focused on others first, instinctively ? Does she have a degree or education ? Can she give something back besides being funny or
sexy or cute ? Can she or does she hold a gainfully employed job ? Seduction is removing all the reasons to say "No" ! Lots of dependent ladies who just want to be rescued, do not rescue, no love in rescues, just dependency which becomes resentment later on.
Reply
Saturday 23 October
By wake me up
I see your way. I am degreed (not boasting), I make my own way and have a life. My boyfriend on the other hand thinks I am a degrader to him because of this. Just venting.
Friday 08 October
By Victor
Vote the liberals out!
Reply
Friday 08 October
By Sabine Stohem
I want to update my status to "single" but my husband hasn't told his family we're divorcing (even though he's the one who initiated it). Seeing as all of our friends would see it, and I don't want his parents to find out from a friend who mentions it to his parents in passing, I took down my relationship status all together. Actually, I'd like to change it to "in a relationship" because I am seeing someone now, but that would be a step too far.
Reply
Monday 01 November
By Meredith
Usually I just wait for the guy to send the request ; or tell you to change it . Then you know it's not akward , and if you accept , you obviously are happy you wanted it there . I know girls who flip flop everyday , and its sad.
Reply
Tuesday 23 November
By Anne
I don't understand why anyone would post a relationship status unless they have been married for like 30 years. Look at the statistics people, you will likely breakup. And when you do, why on Earth would you want it on facebook? Leave it blank! Real friends will know the dealio and the rest don't matter (and probably don't care)
Reply