James Franco -- Ladyboner KillerDo you hear that noise?

That's the sound of us pouring a little King Cobra out in memory of our crush on James Franco. Kidding!

We just don't really know how to feel about this, we guess. He looks like a Robert Palmer girl got attacked by a Talbotts en route to an S&M club. In the '80s.

James did a cover for Candy magazine -- a magazine dedicated to transvestism, cross-dressing, et al -- in drag. And for some reason, unlike when Eddie Izzard gets all dolled up, it just isn't doing it for us.

Thanks, James, for proving once again, well, what exactly?