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What one thing would you do over if you had the opportunity? That's the question at the heart of Kevin Hansen's bestseller, "Secret Regrets: What if you had a Second Chance?" The book features regrets anonymously posted on his website, Secret Regrets. And, because they're fascinating to read -- and good food for thought -- each Monday at 11 Lemondrop will print the biggest regret of one 20-something woman.
Can you relate? Think she should have lived her life differently? By all means, discuss amongst yourselves in the comments. Here's this week's featured Secret Regret, brought to you by someone who, apparently, let him get away:
"I regret that you're better off without me. Seeing you doing better makes my heart hurt and knowing that no matter what would have happened this is the best for you. I lost so much of myself when I walked away from you. I regret that every time I say hello to you I want to say how much I have really missed you and I regret how much I want you back. It's almost been a year since I ended everything but I can still feel the happiness we shared and I wish that some day we could go back to the way we were. I think most of all I regret that I could never have made you as happy as you are now. I'm so sorry." -- anonymous, 22
Speaking of permanent regrets: Here's a tattoo that one woman would like a do-over on.
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Monday 04 October
By zanga
when i was young and stupid ,i was seen stealing from my bosses money box for subscriptions i was head of.the guy threatened to tell on me unless i went out with him ,this included sex ,he was fat and not my type but i was scared and complieid,i really regret that ,it would have been my word against his ,and my boss was sexually harassing me anyway.
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Tuesday 05 October
By lilye
i wish it never happened. i did learn a lesson but i sometimes i wish i would have just always wondered what could have been, instead of knowing and regretting it every single day to the point of having my heart hurt.
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Wednesday 06 October
By fuzzybunny
I regret "befriending" someone in a yearly Big Brother chat. Just remember, there are always two sides to everyone. Wish I had kept my distance....what a jerk he has shown himself to be.
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Friday 08 October
By Lance
When I had the chance at complete happiness I blew it. If I can do one thing over again is treat you with the respect that you deserve. Now, I'm working so hard to get back with her. I thought being patient with her was my ticket to her heart. Now she is having a baby by another guy. I told her I will always be her friend, but it hurts big time. We still hang out but it's not the same. I love that another man was smart enough to treat you like the queen that you are. Having her as a friend feels much better than having anybody else as a girlfriend.
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Friday 08 October
By T
I like a girl and kept it to myself for closed to 2 years. There was no way around it as I feel I am going to explode every chance I am with her. Finally, I took my guts to profess that I like her in a traditional way but only to get rejected. The pain is great and has no connection with her from then on. It’s been 5 months now and I still feel the same way. I know that I was honest and sincere and my only regret was to show her my vulnerability. I am hoping that one day will have the chance to talk things over.
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Friday 29 October
By Too Trusting
My best friend/partner/lover of nearly 18 years purposely lied to me about a girl he knows.For nearly two months now he has had her living with him and did not tell me.We live in different states but he had planned on moving to be with me,until......I called and she answered his phone,telling me I had the wrong number. When he did talk to me,he was more upset about me finding out than telling me the truth! I gave him an ultimatum and he has apparently chosen her,a drug addict/prostitute who uses men like tissue and throws them away.I am glad he is out of my life and will NEVER believe in him again!
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Sunday 10 October
By In Love Once
My greatest regret is a long term relationship I still think of her every day and its been at least 5 years since it ended. She went on vacation for 2 months during break from college with her Aunt and Uncle. I realized while on this vacation she didnt seem to miss me. When she came back I talked to her about it and said maybe she was comfortable with me but not in love. She didn't refute that theory so I broke up with her figuring if she did miss me she would at least talk to me about it. 6 months later the girl I loved for years was getting married. I wish the relationship had never happened
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Monday 11 October
By lo
My regret that has come to my attention over and over and over etc. again is my lack of communicating,showing, sharing, and opening up to let my self shine and my strengths flow, to open up and let the one who keeps returning and rearranging us personally inside completely. To be honest i am a secret they will never know until i am able to open up to the one i should have along time ago.
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Friday 15 October
By sandranne
I regret not spending more time with my daughter when she was little. It was the 80's and women were expected to do it all-a family and a job! If you chose to stay home with kids people looked down on you. Now I can see that its a couple short years and then its gone forever-and we have the rest of our lives to work.Now she grown and gone-and I wish I could recapture that precious time.
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Monday 18 October
By brokenhearted
I regret I am married to a good man that loves me with all his heart. I regret that my son is the best thing to happen to us and I could never bring myself to seperate our family even if it risked my lifes happiness. I regret that to this day I still go to bed thinking of my first love - a highschool love that has earned his way into a forever place in my heart. I secretly hope that my husband will commit some terrible act against me freeing me of my wifely dutites to him. Although i can not say one bad thing against my husband I can honestly tell myself that I would be truly happy with him for a lifetime.-22
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Thursday 21 October
By Erin
I worry I'll regret letting you in my life again. Your so busy trying not to get hurt, trying to get others before they get you your missing out. I know that girl hurt you but why does every woman after her have to pay for you letting yourself love her and then getting hurt? My friends tell me f**k him, you deserve better. When I talk to guys they say don't waste your time. I have given up on you and me being together romantically but it hurts that even when I try to look past all your bravado and see the real person you still shut me out. I know its because you let me get too close when we were together but Damn! Why do you have to be so difficult? Even when I close the door on all of this nonsense for good it still disappoints me to know you are such a coward. When I move on to great success and possibly a wonderful man who is ready for me it will still sadden me to know you are such a coward.
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Thursday 28 October
By gwen
25 years ago, I was a newlywed whose husband was a workaholic, and volunteered all his free time to civic organizations. When I complained, he assured me it would get better once his career was established. I should have divorced him then; I knew we were disconnected and something was deeply wrong. I caught him this year with another man. Mystery solved. I've wasted my life with a man who used me to appear straight to his friends and coworkers.
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Friday 12 November
By CAgirl
I regret not realizing the man I had an affair with during my first marriage was in love with me. I further regret that when he tracked me down and asked me out when my divorce was final, I told him I had already met the man I'd spend the rest of my life with and asking him to not call again, since I would never be able to resist him. It's been 25 years. I think of him often and have spent countless hours doing on line searches to find him so I can say "I'm sorry" and " I loved you, too". Maybe I was right and it wouldn't have worked out. But he was one of the great, once in a lifetime men. There is a lucky girl out there somewhere...and he is rocking her world, I'm sure....
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