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Darin Strauss is the author of best-selling novels like "Chang and Eng," "The Real McCoy" and "More Than It Hurts You," but few people knew Darin's true story ... until now.

At the age of 18, he lived the unthinkable: While he was driving, his classmate, Celine, swerved her bicycle in front of his vehicle, and Darin hit and killed her.

In "Half a Life," he walks us through every step of the way, from the day of the accident, to the months and years that followed, and the tenth of a second that's forever crystallized in his mind.

How do you kill someone and learn to live with it? Darin sat down with Lemondrop to explain why he chose to finally tell his story.

Lemondrop: This book is very personal and probably very hard to write. Why did you feel that now was the right time to tackle it?
Darin Strauss: I mention in the book that I've been writing about things like death and secrets in every novel I've written, but I didn't realize how much those themes related to my life until I started writing "Half a Life." Saul Bellow once said that he didn't want to go to therapy because he didn't want to find out what he was actually writing about, and that's how I feel. I started writing this book when I was 36 [four years ago], but really, it took 20 years to write.

Was writing this helpful in your own process of dealing with the accident?
It was. As I mention in the book, there's a process that therapists use with people who've experienced trauma where they make an audio tape of themselves describing the event, to make their suffering into a real object. This book is my tape. Had I tried too soon, it would've been upsetting and, what's more, totally useless. I would recommend it to people, if they find themselves in a place where they think they can attempt it honestly and healthily. It really helped make it okay for me to talk about it.

You mention in the book how you didn't talk about that day for a long time, that you treated college like a "Witness Protection Program." Why keep it a secret?
Well, it's hard to know when you tell a new person something like this about yourself, and I was never sure about their reactions. And I think secrets are a huge mistake, but this was my path, and in a lot of ways, it worked for me. I kept this in for too long and should have told this earlier, sure. But I think denial was necessary for me for a while. I couldn't have handled talking about this sooner.

So, it's OK for you to talk about it now, at readings and in interviews?
Talking about it is getting easier and easier, but it's still tough. I just did a reading in Long Island [where he's from], and people who knew the girl came -- teachers, friends of hers. I didn't know how I'd feel about any of this stuff being out there -- what if people get angry or say it's exploitative? But the reaction has been very supportive.

What kinds of reactions have you been getting?
I'm used to people writing me to tell me either that they liked my book or didn't like what I'd written, but now I'm getting so many emails from people who have had a loved one commit suicide, who have lost people in accidents, or who have just experienced a loss that they're not quite over. I'm not trying to be a guru, I just wanted to write my story, but it's incredibly touching. That's been the best part of all of this -- hearing from people who have gotten something out of reading the book.

Did you inform Celine's family?
I wrote them a letter warning them about the book, yes, and I did not receive a response. I wasn't expecting to. It was very hard for me to write the letter. I had not spoken to them in many years.

How has this experience changed you as a person?
It's hard to say. I'm not sure who I would have been without the accident. Do I wish she was still alive? Of course. But I wouldn't change how I was affected by it. I am sure I wouldn't have become a writer if it hadn't been for this experience.

Have you forgiven yourself?
I've lived inside that tenth of a second for over 20 years, wondering if I could have done anything, if I could have changed anything, but those thoughts are irrelevant. I'll never be completely over it, it has changed me forever, but I don't know that it's a bad thing. It happened, it changed me, but it didn't ruin me.

Is that what you want readers to get out of "Half a Life"?
I had read a lot of grief literature and research, but I'd never read a book on grief and coping like mine. For example, I'd never read anyone describe the experience of shock accurately. I hoped to at least provide a more honest account of the grief process. For me it wasn't progressing from one step to another, instead I zig-zagged through them, and I think most people do.

Read more about Darin at his website and find "Half a Life" here.


Emily Gordon is a couples and family therapist turned freelance writer -- and Lemondrop contributor -- who lives in Los Angeles.

More about overcoming grief on AOL:
-- "How I Finally Got Over My Mother's Death"
-- Grief and Grieving -- What Happens
-- How to Help a Grieving Friend