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High Schoolers, Take Note
The endings to 50 novels someone will probably try to discuss with you some day. (The Daily What)

Back to Street Hooking It Is
Craigslist has blocked access to their demi-legal "Adult Services" section, meaning that users will now have access to raunchy Farm and Garden services instead. (NY Times)

How to Ruin Your 21st Birthday, Step 1
A biomedical researcher has discovered a way to create malt whiskey from the urine of elderly diabetes patients. Bottoms up! (Boing Boing)

The Best Things in Life Turn Out Not to Be Free
A recent study reports that up to a certain income level, money can, in fact, buy happiness. Suck on that, monks! (HuffPo)

Take a Bizzzzite Out of Crime
Nothing says smoke weed "stop cybercrime" to the folks at Norton Security Software like Snoop Dogg's law-abiding face. The company has signed the rapper on to promote their latest anti-cybercrime campaign. (NY Daily News)

(Photos: Amazon, Getty)

Rich Fight!
After Sean Penn insinuated that Wyclef hadn't been pulling his weight in Haiti relief efforts, the musician called Penn a cokehead. The two resolved things amicably after realizing they're rich, famous people arguing over who should be president. (Dlisted)

Kendra Wilkinson, Parenting Expert
The Playboy model reached out to Laurence Fishburne, saying he should support his daughter's decision to do porn, because nothing makes a girl date an octogenarian quicker than being disapproved of by her real dad. (The Superficial)

The Friendly Skies -- Now With Fewer F-Bombs
JetBlue has officially fired expletive-happy flight attendant Steven Slater. (Radar Online)

I'm Happy for You, and I'mma Let You Finish
But the song Kanye West wrote for Taylor Swift is one of the greatest apologies of all time. (People)

Dog Days
Five of the six puppies captured on film being thrown into a river by a cruel Bosnian teen were saved by Strega Nona an elderly animal lover. (BuzzFeed)