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I guess you could say that I'm pretty domestic for a 27-year-old. I've been with my boyfriend for over four years. We have a house and a beloved dog. But there's one snag in my otherwise responsible adult life that seems to throw some people for a loop: I don't think I want kids.

My best friend feels the same way, and whenever we've confessed this to other girls, many have responded with wide eyes and dropped jaws.

Recently, my friend forwarded around an article that ran in the Daily Mail. The writer of the piece, Carol Sarler, has a bone to pick with women who are "healthy and sane" but choose not to have children. She writes that the days of bosses and colleagues shunning working mothers are long gone. Now, apparently, it's the childless women who are not to be trusted, because they're "cold, calculating, sad and mad." In fact, she believes that we childless women actually lack "an essential humanity."

As you can imagine, the article instantly sparked a lot of discussion among my friends. Basically, moms and non-moms alike agreed that Sarler's conclusions were off-base and offensive either way. While the article villainizes non-moms, we all agreed it would be equally preposterous to say that moms make worse employees, because they miss more work for their kids' colds or school plays. But basically we all wondered, What does motherhood have to do with the judgment of an employee's worth?
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I'd like to think that whether I marry and/or have kids has no bearing on how my employer or fellow employees view me. It shouldn't matter that I happen not to be so sure about having kids. It's just never been clear to me. I think part of it might be my lack of exposure to little kids (never babysat, no little cousins around). Beyond that, I've just never been able to picture myself as a mother. And I don't think it's because I'm a cold, unfeeling woman, as Sarler insinuates.

I'm actually quite the opposite. At work, I like getting to know my co-workers and helping them when I'm able to. I'm head over heels for my baby niece. There's nothing like watching her laugh. I spoil my dog rotten. I've volunteered my time at the Humane Society and as a math tutor. I donate money to charities I'm passionate about. I don't think I'm weird. I'm not a robot or devoid of compassion and care, either.

I'm also insulted by Sarler's assertion that non-moms are the ones who turn up to work late and hung over. That is certainly not the case for this non-mom. My boyfriend and I joke that we haven't been to a bar in ages. The demands of work (I'm an aerospace engineer), flying (obviously can't be sleep-deprived), and training for marathons in my free time are other reasons that the party-going life ended shortly after college for me.

Faded memories of beer pong aside, I've always thought that the goal should be to avoid having your lifestyle throw off your work performance. A quality employee will get her work done in an above-and-beyond fashion regardless of her home life, right? For instance, it's important to me to bring dedication to my work, whether I'm earning the paycheck to support feeding a few extra mouths at home or just myself. And while Sarler insists that mothers are the ones who bring more to the table, thanks to their "mom skills" (like time- and budget-managing, critical thinking, etc.), I think it's fair to say that non-moms are just as capable of meeting deadlines and thinking on their feet.

In fact, when asked what she values most about me as an employee, my boss recently described me as "detail-oriented, possessing an aptitude to learn quickly, having a positive attitude, approachable, organized and enthusiastic." Goes to show you don't need in-depth knowledge of Little Einstein and Diaper Genies to establish a glowing reputation on the job.

Most of my friends who have kids place their bets on me changing my mind at some point in the future. And I do recognize that what we want in life changes as we get older. So, I allow myself the possibility that one day a feeling inside of me will change. But no matter what path my life takes, I know I will always strive to achieve that whole work-life balance saying.

Oh, and by the way, you know another saying that I've always liked? "To each her own."


This story was written by Maressa Brown, as told to her by Dawn Cole.