So, you say you got into an Ivy, graduated a laude, landed a top job and a promotion, and yet you're still not happy? With all these achievements, you should be one of the crazy-happiest people on the planet. It's not rocket science, right? Well, it may not have anything to do with rocket science, but it does have something to do with the science of the human brain. In a first-of-its-kind study conducted at the University at Buffalo, researchers found that our best and worst experiences in life aren't linked to individual accomplishments. Rather, it's our social interactions that register most deeply.
According to Shira Gabriel, one of the study's co-authors and an associate professor of psychology at the university, "It was not independent events or individual achievements, like winning awards or completing tasks, that affected participants the most, but the moments when close relationships began or ended; when people fell in love or found a friend; when a loved one died or broke their hearts. In short, it was the moments of connecting to others that touched people's lives the most."
Researchers observed 376 subjects in four different ways to arrive at their findings. In one scenario, college students were asked to discuss their most positive and negative emotional experiences to date -- and an overwhelming majority chose social events over individual ones. In another test, researchers replicated the first experiment using middle-aged subjects and reported the same results.
During the last two experiments, the three professors conducting the study determined that the strong emotional impact of social events reported in the first two studies was not due to the fact that social events were more salient than independent events, but social events did have added emotional punch because they harked back to our human need to belong.
Perhaps the most important lesson learned: The findings contradict what social psychologists have said up until now -- namely, that personal accomplishments mark life's highs and lows. So, the next time you meet one of those annoying people at a party who only talk about where they went to school and which sorority they pledged, it's probably because they're not very happy.












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Wednesday 01 September
By monabona
DUH! At the very least, people who frequently brag about their school, title, money made, or car they drive have never really been happy. Just ask those of us who don't talk about ourselves much but still are considered happy.
Can you
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Wednesday 01 September
By Taylor
FedEx denies employees time off to attend their FATHERS' funeral.
Go to YouTube, search word: FedEx Inhumane Treatment.
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Wednesday 01 September
By Eric
Happiness is self actualization and seeing the best in other people.. Happiness occurs when we learning from others and give back, making friends from all walks of life and rejoicing in the success of others, making life better for friends, caring for them in times of need, and being kind to animals that depend on our caring generosity.
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Wednesday 01 September
By gwilkes2
Thegrrr8est.......Nice post and interesting one.......Fightemoff......Some of yours comment reads true also........And kittkat......nice post........
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Wednesday 01 September
By kasmin
Each of us will only be remembered for the problems we resolve & the ones we cause.
Until we understand & proactively implement the necessary steps to think correctly, the findings will continue to report the same: the obvious!
Future articles would be better poised to discover what's going on in one's thinking & re-wire those circuits.
It's only in believing correctly, one's able to be fully present with self & others. As long as there's pre-occupation with blame-shifting, bragging & being right, its guaranteed there's little or no focus on what's most imperative....processing & moving past the past!
Everyone of us experience difficulties. We CHOOSE whether we'll be defined by them.
Make the proper choices & you'll succeed. Or at the very least, rebound quicker in the face of a setback.
Remain phenomenal & strategic...
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Wednesday 01 September
By Mik
I didn't attend college. But I am a certified court reporter (no school required for me because I knew how to do the job). I made $25,000 more four years ago than I am making this year, same job, same employer. Yes, I was happy to take my family to Disney World then. We had a great time. Yet I am sad that I lost my only sibling less than a year ago, and have lost my daughter who moved away, lost my "best friend" this year. But I have someone in my life now that loves me and holds me when I cry about my loss. So would more money replace the understanding? No. Would more money make my loss less painful? No. Money is necessary, but love means so much more.
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Wednesday 01 September
By Steve
"Happiness Comes From Within..You Won't Find It On The Outside"
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Wednesday 01 September
By ibernurse
Well this makes so much PLAIN sense even to a trained medical professional. I've been through a counselling where I learned something very similar, but it still seems like a shocking revelation that this is my 'hang-up' with my relationships. Now that I have identified them, I'm a much happier person and healthier as well. Except loss of one person whom apparently wasn't a friend in the first place.
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Wednesday 01 September
By lb
Dependent, Independent, time shared , and time alone, some money , lots of money, the daytime or the nightime, all can be our heaven or our hell, all by the way each chooses to think of the above. As a famous guru of sorts writes, c
Change the way that we look at things and the things that we look at change !
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Wednesday 01 September
By Buy2Tickets
Staying positive..... Doing fun things like concerts, events, sports, movies, hiking, barbeques with family etc.
Keeps me Happy : )
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Wednesday 01 September
By mamamarth
Abraham Lincoln said "A person will be just about as happy as they make up their mind to be." I put more stock in that statement. I think each of us awaken's each morning and regardless of our circumstance make a decision whether or not we are happy that day...not necessarily content...but happy. Maybe because we're optimists, dreamers, hopeful or have faith. I think that's pretty much the key. Not things, not relationships...it's a personal decision.
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Wednesday 01 September
By I agree wAnnoyed
I can identify with Annoyed's comments. Social interactions end up leaving me the most depressed. Our area has a lot of egotistical, money, cliquey people. Condescending remarks and competitive people (I've also used the term toxic people) leave me wanting to avoid social situations. It makes since that nice, positive people can bring happiness, now where are they?
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