So, you say you got into an Ivy, graduated a laude, landed a top job and a promotion, and yet you're still not happy? With all these achievements, you should be one of the crazy-happiest people on the planet. It's not rocket science, right? Well, it may not have anything to do with rocket science, but it does have something to do with the science of the human brain. In a first-of-its-kind study conducted at the University at Buffalo, researchers found that our best and worst experiences in life aren't linked to individual accomplishments. Rather, it's our social interactions that register most deeply.
According to Shira Gabriel, one of the study's co-authors and an associate professor of psychology at the university, "It was not independent events or individual achievements, like winning awards or completing tasks, that affected participants the most, but the moments when close relationships began or ended; when people fell in love or found a friend; when a loved one died or broke their hearts. In short, it was the moments of connecting to others that touched people's lives the most."
Researchers observed 376 subjects in four different ways to arrive at their findings. In one scenario, college students were asked to discuss their most positive and negative emotional experiences to date -- and an overwhelming majority chose social events over individual ones. In another test, researchers replicated the first experiment using middle-aged subjects and reported the same results.
During the last two experiments, the three professors conducting the study determined that the strong emotional impact of social events reported in the first two studies was not due to the fact that social events were more salient than independent events, but social events did have added emotional punch because they harked back to our human need to belong.
Perhaps the most important lesson learned: The findings contradict what social psychologists have said up until now -- namely, that personal accomplishments mark life's highs and lows. So, the next time you meet one of those annoying people at a party who only talk about where they went to school and which sorority they pledged, it's probably because they're not very happy.












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Tuesday 31 August
By age dependent
Yeah - I think there needs to be a clearer definition between "happiness" and "feeling good" ... getting a good job feels good ... being commended for good work feels good. And then there is also feeling superior. I think asking that latter question could be quite revealing. Having said that -- age ... getting older may give a very different response. Where seeing relationships as external events may not trigger the same definition of happiness ....
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Tuesday 31 August
By marie
There's a difference between personal achievement and self -aggrandizement. Believe it or not I've found most accomplished and successful people do not show up at parties bragging about their achievements and contrary to the attitude that this article is trying to convey, are quite happy with their accomplishments and do quite well in social circles. There's nothing like bitter frustration over life's failures to really put a damper on things. Who says people who are accomplished and successful also aren't popular? Was this article written by a jr high kid pretending to be a student at the oh so highly acclaimed Suny at Buffalo. Come on. Then let's hear it for all those happy people who split their time between their favorite watering hole and Walmart (disclaimer: not that there's anything wrong with working at Walmart..I'm just following the line of thought in the article) This article makes it seem like achievement automatically makes you a social pariah..and let's not forget they surveyed a whole 376 people to prove it!!! Was that a random sample study? (a little social science humor there people) I think the kids who did this research watched too many 1980's John Hughes movies..16 candles anyone? or perhaps Breakfast Club..hahaha. I hope they passed their class with this BS study.
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Tuesday 31 August
By deb3
I feel like you missed the point of this article a little. Instead of focusing on the general message you went straight to the construction of the study. Pretentiousness is not a becoming quality and something tells me you are surrounded by like-minded people. It's okay to be proud of the degrees hanging on the wall, but at the end of the day they aren't going to take you on a vacation.
Tuesday 31 August
By Sue
I do think you missed the point. I understood the point to be-accomplishments are not what make people happy. It is personal relationships that give people happiness.
Tuesday 31 August
By bonefish
Well, crap, you mean after all this time it's not about having a buttload of money and more toys than everyone else?
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Tuesday 31 August
By thegrrrr8est
Nah. It's about being a perfect size 2. Or carrying the latest two thousand dollar handbag. Or losing ten pounds. Or getting a promotion. Or finding a husband. Or getting rid of the one you've got and finding a better one. Face it. It's about NEVER getting there, wherever there is. You can thank the advertising world for that mindset. Read any of the dozen articles on AOL and you can see how mired people are in trying to be somebody, trying to impress somebody, trying to outdo somebody. All of it a colossal waste of time.
Why is this so hard? Happiness is easy. It's about showing up for life, whatever it throws your way, and being grateful to just BE here. Added points if you were lucky enough to be born an American. Happiness is about noticing all the wonder in this amazing world and not taking a minute of it for granted. Happiness is about being, not getting or doing or having.
Tuesday 31 August
By marie
Deb I missed nothing, stop trying to be smart..it's okay really I'm sure you've got a lot of friends and are comforted by your social circle of wellness...heheheee.......oh I just thought of another one WEIRD SCIENCE...oh and bye the way I agree with BONEHEAD....Party ON Bonehead
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Tuesday 31 August
By marie
I'm sorry Deb i shouldn't have said that. YOu're right. I'm an accomplished person so naturally I'm pretentious and only surround myself with people who think exactly like I do...and to make matters worse because of my accomplishments I have no ability to form close bonds or affiliations with people. Sorry, please accept my apologies. The study was right. I feel like going bowling. Anyone want to join me?
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Tuesday 31 August
By Fench
Actual Marie, you totally missed the point of the article. You read into it this whole pretentiousness fixation. That's not what the article was about. It was about people, no matter what their level of achievement and the fact that their high and lows were more tied with emotional experiences with other human beings than with achievements. That's what the article was about. The issue of bragging really only comes up in the last paragraph, and frankly your own opening comment supports the focus of that paragraph rather than refuting it.
Tuesday 31 August
By Tyrone
Marie Uz a hater, label everything, snide, judgemental. I can sum you up from uz few typed sentences.
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Tuesday 31 August
By pj512
The old saying is that money can't buy happiness, but financial security is worth all the gold in the world. It has nothing to do with education or how smart you are. If you go to a job you hate every day, you either have to deal with it in an upbeat way or try to find something better. I honestly don't think that super intelligent people are happier than anybody else. All that pressure to do well. It's better to be middle of the road intelligent and doing well, in my own humble opinion.
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Tuesday 31 August
By Mikeylikesit69
It's like this .... money can't buy happiness, but with a beautiful beachfront house as a second vacation home and you and your family in good health with a brand new Mecedes convertible you can drive right up to happiness--right along side it and wave at "it" as you buzz to the beach!!
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Tuesday 31 August
By KittyKat
All this is well and good, but did you ever notice how you can be happy for no reason at all? And depressed the same way? I'm not on any mood stabilizers or anything -- never have been -- nor do I use alcohol to alter my moods. I just think human beings are programmed to have mood changes, and some are just luckier to have more happy moods than others. Being healthy and feeling well also have a lot to do with how happy you may feel.
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Wednesday 01 September
By kauaigirl
Right On Kitty Kat! That is so true.
Tuesday 31 August
By Mat
i feel like this article is correct, but misleading to those who misunderstand it as more than a subjective comparison. While i think happiness comes from many factors, primarily environmental, chemical processes in the brain, and many other things we have no control over; the article is saying subjectively achievement isn't as affective in our overal happiness as positive interpersonal connections. I believe this as correct.
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Tuesday 31 August
By LNOFT97
In other news, water is wet and the sun is bright.
It's well known that things are nice to have, up to a point, but your relationships are what makes or breaks you. I'm told by the media and certain parties that to be a success in life, I have to live in a McMansion, carry a big ugly Coach bag just like a celebutard, and have a high falutin' job or degree. Then, brag brag brag. Bull! A mountain of gold and letters after your name mean squat if you don't have loving friends and family.
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Tuesday 31 August
By bsbmoosemama
you know what happiness is? Happiness is having a husband that loves you unconditionally no matter what, and watching my babies grow up! that is what happiness is!
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Wednesday 01 September
By Carolina Guy
Another scientific study to tell us the obvious. I'm with Abe Lincoln, who said he'd found that most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.
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Wednesday 01 September
By Annoyed
I'm not so sure all social interaction makes me happy, much of the time. When dealing with difficult people who make snide remarks, in-laws, rude and judgmental people and troublemakers, ( they are all over), I find it more depressing than anything. Close to 90% of the people I have dealt with in my entire life have been toxic in one way or another. More depressing than anything. But, when around nice people, that can make me happy. So I can see how this could be true.
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Wednesday 01 September
By fightEmOFF
What is happiness? How does anyone really know when they are happy? Is it when something amazing happens or when nothing goes wrong? Is it when you are living the dream or when you are surviving your worst nightmare? When you are mad, get glad. When you are sad, cry tears of joy. When frozen with fear, stand your ground. It is all about fake it until you make it, then put it in the bank before you spend it all in one place.
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