Lemondrop

As fall draws near, we'll remember this, the summer of 2010, as one of record temperatures, record Kanye Tweets and record teenage unemployment.

Yep, if you were a high school or college student looking for a traditional seasonal slog, you may have been out of luck. According to a survey by Northeastern University, an unheard-of 26 percent of kids were out of work this summer, and experts are concerned that it may have long-term consequences on their career prospects. Aside from leaving gaping holes in their résumés, kids may not be getting the crucial experience in dealing with schedules, co-workers, bosses, customers and, yes, uniforms, that even the worst summer jobs can provide.

So, if you were one of the 4-million-plus students who couldn't find a minimum-wage gig, never fear. We polled our friends, family and writers and asked them what they learned from a time when dehumanizing summer gigs were easier to come by. Some of it is practical (how to deal with creepy bosses), and some of it is not (how to look dope while wearing a visor). But even if you are well beyond your years of covering your piercings and wearing a hairnet, you'll be able to appreciate these Deep Life Lessons Learned From Summer Jobs.

Beware Iced Coffee: "The expensive iced coffee ($3.50 or more a cup)? It's all the old coffee from the day before mixed with ice in a jug."

Teens, True to Form: "Being assistant manager of a drive-in taught me that teenagers do in fact go out and get drunk and make out at drive-ins. And also that I was significantly less popular than I had previously estimated."

Clothing! It's Not Just About Fashion: "Wear long sleeves while operating deep fryers and grills or you'll go back to school scarred by grease splashes."

Whom Not to Date: "If a man is over 35 and has more than two degrees and wants to be pals with you, the teenager he works with at a retail chain, he is not dreamy. He is crazy. Do not make out with him."

How to Get Strong Wrists: "Working in an ice cream parlor will give you one super-strong wrist. And a big, fat, Santa belly."

... and Killer Calves: "I hung signs on doors for a maid service and learned that if you walk 6 to 8 hours a day, you'll have Ninja Turtle calves in no time."

The Truth About Waiters: "Remember, the next time you go to a restaurant ... 90 percent of people who work there are nymphomaniacs."

Which Light Bulbs to Buy: "Those more expensive, green-friendly lightbulbs actually do last longer than regular or fluorescent bulbs -- and give a more flattering glow in the fitting room."

BYOP: "Moviegoers, take heed: Popcorn that isn't eaten is may be put into enormous trash bags and taken into the storage room and then reheated the next day (mixed in with whatever new popcorn you make throughout the day)."

Playlists Work! "Music almost always makes you work go faster and helps you focus more -- especially if you have a mindless job like I did, working in a stock room in retail."

You Never Escape High School: "Everyone you work with -- especially grown-ups -- it's really easy to tell what they were like in high school. The over-enthusiastic coordinator? Musical theater kid. The pushy manager? Total cheerleader mean-girl. Deal with them accordingly."

Go the Extra Mile (If You Get Paid): "Overtime is (almost) always worth it."

Dress for the Job You ... Have: "Dress practically over cute, if you have the option. That skirt isn't so cute when you spend your day climbing ladders in the back room."

Fresh Air Is Your Friend: "Try to go into the real world as often as possible. Leave the office/mall/restaurant, take a walk and eat a real lunch. It keeps you human and breaks up the day a little."

To-Do Lists Are a "Do": "First thing when you arrive at work, make a to-do list and check things off as you go."

Everyone Loves Camp: "As a former camp counselor, if you're a parent, you should know -- we will take great care of your kids, but yes, we are stoned. All. The. Time."

Take Hourly Breaks: "Try to work as diligently as possible for the first 50 minutes of every hour. Use the last 10 to check email, your phone, etc. Get right back to it at the strike of the new hour."

Watch Where You Step: "When working out of doors, do not accidentally tread on long-dead roadkill (after awhile, dead bunnies will actually explode in a billion pieces, all over your Nikes)."

Leave Work at Work: "Any job where you get to go home and forget about the job entirely until the next day is the best kind of job."

Have a tip of your own (or a good summer job horror story) to share with ye Young Folke? Leave it in the comments, why don't you!