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So Many Miracles, the Magic Miracles
Run for your bunkers, patriots! Hauntings, Glenn Beck, and the other nutty things Americans believe in. (BuzzFeed)

Uncle Peter, No!
A recent study found that the owners of most genital jewelry are straight, white, middle-class dudes. (Gawker)

I Love You, But I've Chosen Marcus
A study finds that many survivors of Hurricane Katrina used the tragedy as an exit strategy from failing relationships, finding new partners along the way. (The Daily Beast)

C*ck of the Talk
Chatroulette is now offline, hosting only a message stating, "Experiment #1 is now over". For those still looking for d*cks on the Internet, please refer to Arthur Kade. (Tech Crunch)

Beer Fear
Drinkers of full-calorie beer have a higher risk of psoriasis than consumers of other beverages, but at least they're charming and confident. (NY Times)

(Photos: Getty)

The "Shore" Thing
The Situation has a little something to roofie for you quench your thirst: protein vodka, for the figure-conscious alcoholic. (TMZ)

Eye of the Tiger
Line up, ladies! Tiger Woods is once again single, which basically changes nothing. (Celebslam)

Friends in Low Places
Despite reports, notably trustworthy individual Jeremy London is denying an affair with "Celebrity Rehab" co-star Rachel Uchitel. (People)

Can't Be Tamed
Miley Cyrus is trying to throw away the very last bit of her childhood with her upcoming role as a sexually experimental, bikini-waxed young woman in "The Miley Cyrus Story" "LOL: Laughing Out Loud." (PopEater)

Put It in Your Mouth
Killers frontman Brandon Flowers has traded in his former band's heartfelt lyrics for a feeling slightly south of the belt with his new solo single, the subtly titled "Swallow It." (NY Post)