Good news, crazy face-tattoo guy! We've finally found a place you can call home, thanks to a list of the 10 most tattooed cities in America
, compiled by TotalBeauty.com.
By determining which cities in the country have the most tattoo parlors and permanent makeup shops per capita in the country, and scoping out das Internet to determine the general tattoo vibe of a town, these were determined to be the most ink-friendly locales in the country.
10. Los Angeles:
Probably only made the list because somebody has to meet Angelina Jolie and Megan Fox's demands.
9. Kansas City, Mo.:
Not to be mistaken for Kansas City, Kan., where a tattoo might be met by having chaw on your boots.
Bear in mind a lot of these shops might exist solely for the purpose of putting "tribal" bands around tourists' arms and mai-tai-inspired butterflies on girl's ankles.
7. San Francisco:
What can we say? San Fran is a freak show. A beautiful, expensive freak show.
6. Austin, Tex.:
It seems that their "Free Tattoo With Every Pulled Pork Sandwich" campaign has finally paid off.
5. Portland, Ore.:
What better way for young hipsters to express their love of gourmet food carts and microbrews than with a pretentious tattoo?
4. Flint, Mich.:
Because the best way to scare off potential muggers is to have a crazy face tattoo! (See how we brought it back just now?)
3. Richmond, Va.:
You'd be surprised how many people have "I went to Richmond, Va., and all I got was this lousy tattoo" tattoos.
2. Las Vegas:
We all know how Las Vegas ended up second on this list. We're looking at you Mr. Permanent Reminder of That Time You Won at Roulette.
Oh, so THIS is why there's a show called "Miami Ink." We think. Uhhhh ... somebody told us. We're definitely too busy reading Proust to have time for a reality tattoo drama. What?
There you have it -- a list of places where it's perfectly acceptable to have a tattoo of a giant face right on your neck. You know, in case you were getting tired of all the awkward looks and questions. Or, if you are really just looking for a tattoo artist who won't blink twice when you ask him for a full back-piece of Bozo the Clown stark naked, which, come on, why wouldn't you be?