Lemondrop

In news that provides us with yet another reason to curb our drinking, researchers at Roehampton University in London have figured out the mechanism behind beer goggles, and it seems we're in trouble. Not only are beer goggles real, but psychologists have been trying to figure out how they actually work for years, with most assuming that people just get a bit, well, less picky once they get sauced up. These brave scientists took their work out of the lab and into local bars to find out exactly what happens.

Surely you've heard of the idea that we find people attractive based on how symmetrical their faces are, and that famously, Denzel Washington has the most symmetrical face of all time? That bit of cocktail party trivia was the focus of this study. Patrons at a local bar were all shown pictures of faces; first, 20 pairs of faces, each with one symmetrical face and one asymmetrical face, and the boozer's job was to pick the more attractive face of each pair. Then they were shown 20 images of the same face, each slightly digitally distorted, and asked to decide if each face was symmetrical or not.

What they found was that the higher the blood-alcohol content, the less people could tell if a face was scientifically gorgeous. Sober people were pretty unified in which faces they thought were most attractive, whereas drunk people were all over the place, picking people seemingly at random, and this problem especially affected women. Men were much less likely to lose their symmetry-detecting abilities, and when asked, the researchers could not explain this finding, only saying, "Men tend to ogle more than women do." So, because they look at women more in general, they're better at judging them?

Regardless, figuring out why alcohol makes you more sexually charitable is a good lesson to learn. Next time you're out at a bar on the prowl, make a toast to symmetry and perhaps keep a small ruler in your purse for measuring faces. It's always a good idea to check your work. And just for fun, check out our beer goggles calculator and predict your chances of making a decision you'll regret tomorrow, tonight!