Lemondrop

So much happened in last night's episode that I had a nearly impossible time recapping and eating pie at the same time. The sacrifices I make for you (and mostly for Peggy). To the 'cap machine.

Working for the Weekend
The episode begins with conference call with everyone's favorite veiled homosexual, General Lee of Lucky Strike. And just like real conference calls, no one is paying attention. Don's busy hunting for drinks, okaying ads he'd never approved before, and -- dun-nuh! -- opening a letter from Slutphanie that contains a photo of him and his darling Anne Draper. Pete comes in to nose around while Don pretends there's a fire so they can all get off of the phone. Poor Pete gets the rough news he's got to break-up with his father-in-law's Clearasil company because it's a conflict with Pond's Cold Cream. He retreats to his office to only hear more bad news: slick, published author and former ladies man Kenny Cosgrove marrying someone rich! Harry Crain goes on a tangent about Puerto Rican nipples and then asks him to eat lunch with Ken G tomorrow. Ugh Ugh Ugh. He considers stapler suicide but backs out.
Drink anything that's in your office then ask your secretary to restock

Pete & Pete
Pete goes to break the news to his father-in-law (who was the dad from Clarissa Explains It All). Pete being typical Pete, can't really get to the point, and then he starts singing nah-nah-nah-nah-nah and tries to pull out a rusty ladder. Dear old dad-in-law congratulates Pete, but on what exactly, creepy Pete isn't sure. Oh wait! Trudy's pregnant. She found out Monday, and this day is clearly not Monday, but no matter. Pete's dad-in-law offers him twice as much money if he can ensure this fetus has a penis, and then starts babbling about his wife having his uterus removed. Pete, being a totally adorable wuss, doesn't tell FIL that he's got to drop the account. Instead he goes home to Trudy, who claims she was saving the news for their anniversary. Trudy is so happy that Pete's happy, but deep down Pete is still recovering from his real life I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant episode (back when Peggy thought it was just coyotes and a burrito baby instead of his child!). The prego couple decides to tell FIL the agency has to drop them at dinner the next day, because no news is bad news while eating a Yankee pot roast.
Drink champagne and eat some yankee pot roast

Focus Features
Focus-Group Faye further assimilates into the gang by conducting a Ponds study on the single secretaries of SDCP. After using all sorts of trickery to get them comfortable, like pretending she's single and that she brushes her hair a hundred times a night, the entire group devolves into man-hating tears. Behind the glass Peggy, Pee-Your-Pants Rumsen and Don watch on. Dons squirming a bit because Allison is obviously one pot of cold cream away from a nervous breakdown. Midway through the focus group, Peggy, out of boredom, tries on Faye's wedding ring. I was sure it was going to get stuck, and so was Don, which is why he cut Peggy a stink-eye for the ages. Behind the faux glass all the women continue to cry about how they will die unmarried, eating cold cream with hundreds of cats for companionship. Allison can't take it any more and runs out in tears. Peggy kindly tries to make her feel better, but then Allison is mouth-crying and telling Peggy, "Girl you know how it feels to bone Dsquared," and Peggy's like, "who you calling a slut trash bag!" Peggy then tells Sexretary "My problem is not your problem," and leaves her to cry it out alone. It seems Allison has let her cat out of the bag (the other one this time) and Peggy does not approve.
Smother your face in Pond's Cold Cream and vodka

One Bedroom Vagina w/Pre-War Details
We're spiraling deeper into the 60s, which means it's time for 60% more free love. Peggy makes a new friend in the elevator at the office -- a sassy, lesbian in a smart blazer who works at Life magazine. After gazing upon some nude photos in the elevator (for business, duh), Joyce invites Peg-A-Leg to a swinging shindig (the party starts at 9, Joyce will be there at ten). The party is all we could ever dream of: a guy wearing a big bear head, people talking about art and politics and a shirtless artist named Kellogg cursing advertising. Joyce tells Peg she looks swelligent and then they get stoned together. She makes her big move on Pegs, but Peg mentions she has a boyfriend. The greatest exchange in Mad Men history then takes place:
"He doesn't own your vagina," Joyce
"No, but he's renting it." Peggy
Even stoned she's full of wit and whimsy. Peggy meets a journalist named Abe. The cops come and they are forced into a seven minutes in heaven situation. They smooch for freedom and then Abe puts on his Lincoln-style hat and runs into the night, promising to find her with his hard news skills.
A joint and two keg beers

Double D
As we continue to see, the Double D lifestyle can't be supported long-term, Don has to sort things out with the Sextretry. After some hilariously awkward banter, Don tells Sextrary to get over it -- people cry in focus groups all the time. (They should just call them crying groups, amirite?) But Allison is dunzo with seeing Don for non-sex purposes. She needs a new job and wants Don to write her recommendation. After he asks her to just do it for him and let him sign it, homegirl throws a paperweight at him! Major burn: "I don't say this easily, but you are not a good person." STONE COLD SEXTRETARY. Everyone gets nosy and Joan asks if Don would be open to Allison returning, to which Don's like no, and hide all the paperweights! Then Peggy peeks over the top of the fake office walls to see what Don is up too -- then stays there for a solid 5-10 minutes. Just hanging out. It was incredible. Joan hires Don a new sextratary who looks like Mrs. Doubtfire. Don thinks about typing an apology letter to Allison but it's so depressing that he just control-alt-deletes the whole thing. Don takes out some aggression on Focus Group Faye arguing that the groups don't work because you can't tell how people are going to behave based on how they already behaved. (Projection much?) Also, focus groups suck because they ask questions about people you've slept with and families you don't have, so he doesn't want to play anyway! He continues to fall apart and drink in the office until he hears a vacuum cleaner in the hallway. He runs out to see if he can try to fuck the janitor, but, disappointed with what he sees, he just grabs his fedora and goes home alone.
Two dirty martinis and a psychiatrist appointment to deal with your issues



Pete & Pegs 4 NEVA
Meanwhile, Cosgrove's bachelor lunch proves to be even more estrogen-filled than the focus group. Harry Crain orders a Caesar salad minus the dressing, meaning he just ordered lettuce. Then Cosgrove starts whining like a little girl about how Pete talked about him. It's all very Jersey Shore, with Cosgrove saying Pete shouldn't have told JJ420 about the lawnmower incident, and how he's marrying his opera-loving-wife for money. Pete quasi-apologizes and then rubs it in that' he's building a mini-Campbell army with hot-to-trot Trudy. Feeling strong from laying it down on Cosgrove, Pete tell the FIL to stop making an ass-out-of-you-and-me by assuming he knows what's up, then tells him he's dropping Clearasil and demands all his bigger accounts. FIL calls him a son of a bitch, and then Pete does something redeemable and adorable: he pours himself a drink and shrugs. At the office the next day he tells everyone he turned chicken shit into chicken salad (just like my mom used to). But what's this? Peggy finds out Pete's expecting and then she bangs her head on the wall! The same way Pete banged his head against the wall earlier in the episode! They are made for each other! She goes to congratulate him and it's just so heartbreaking. He's sitting all the way over on this couch waiting for her to sit down, but she doesn't. She goes to lunch with her new bohemian friends instead. Pete and Peg share a tender and incredibly cinematic moment in the lobby though, with her new fun friends in bright hues and jovial moods, while Pete's on the other side of the glass all business with his black-mail account. I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I cried all over my pie at that point.
Have yourself some champagne mingled with tears


This episode provided all the Peggy action a gal can hope for. Also, there was a part at the end with two old people and some pears that was really bizarre, unless it was just a metaphor for Don not having anyone to buy him pears, in which case, I get it!

Next week's preview was so intense and random I'm not even sure what to expect. It seemed to intercut every character saying words without any context or clarity (murder, not okay!, Betty, Joan, back to Betty, Lane). What do you think? What if that's the whole episode? Will we all have stress seizures or will we love it?