Lemondrop

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"I can spot the 'cardio queens' anywhere," drawls our trainer Rowdy at an ungodly hour this morning as we grunt our way through some suicidal version of push-ups. "They hit the good-girl/bad-girl machine, do some crunches, then it's 45 minutes on the elliptical."

Translation: In girlspeak, the "good-girl/bad-girl machine" is the hip adductor/abductor, that contraption on which you squeeze your legs open and shut like butterfly wings while attempting to whittle your thighs. And yes, this should confirm your worst secret fear: If a trainer is watching, so is every guy in the gym. (Sorry.)

But we digress. Today we learned the ultimate fitness secret: that running on the treadmill like you were born in Kenya, or gluing yourself to the elliptical until you're a stair-stepping wilting plant of a person, will not help you lose weight in the long run.

We also learned what will help.

This expert advice comes courtesy of Rowdy Yates, our sweet, easy-on-the-eyes Crunch trainer.

Shall we?

Note: We've been working out in our 9-to-Fine: How to Get Fit If You're a Cubicle Slave program for over a month now. This morning we got weighed in, and we're proof positive that Rowdy's plan is working. More on that below. In meantime, here's what we -- former cardio queens ourselves -- know about fitness that we didn't before.

"Running, running, running is where women run into trouble," says Rowdy. "You lose weight, but it's lean body mass. You stop doing it, you'll gain it right back."

His Top Tips:

-- Lift some weights. This way you'll burn body fat while adding lean mass, allowing your body to burn calories more efficiently in the long run.

-- Up your nutrient intake. Runners, especially, lose antioxidants and amino acids because of the continued exertion. Then your body burns lean muscle mass instead of fat. To help it burn the bad stuff more efficiently, pop a multivitamin every day and take amino acid supplements.

-- Vary your routine. "Any cardio after three weeks, if you don't change it up, you'll plateau," says Rowdy. Instead, try interval training. You've heard it before, here's what it means: Speed-walk three miles if you usually run them. Run for two minutes and walk for one. Anything that shocks your body out of its well-worn routine will help you burn more calories. And above all, what we've learned, is that getting fit is a numbers game.

Our updates:

Carrie:
Ha. I only dream of waking up a bright-and-bushy-tailed cardio queen who busts her butt in sweatpants that plaster "PINK" across my petite derriere. Alas.

So ... I've walked the dog a lot. A lot a lot. In fact, I think the dog is losing more weight than I am. What happens: I sit in my cubey-cube for like, 12 hours at a stretch, then get out at 9 p.m. to find (the opposite of "9 to Fine") I've only walked 59 steps and burned, like, 8 calories. So me and the dog, we go a-walkin' after midnight ... usually until he looks up at me like I'm turning him into a mini-me, and imposing my weight-loss goals onto him (which I am), and let's face it, he weighs 13 pounds soaking wet.

But here's the amazing thing: Despite the fact that I've only walked and lifted, I've dropped body fat. Another two whole percentage points. So, so long cardio-queen dreams. I am, henceforth, a dumbbell princess.

And no, of course I did not slip and eat raw cookie dough the eve before my weigh-in. What sort of masochistic fool does that?

Erin:
Out of all the things I've been called in my life, today's "cardio queen" was a first. My life motto used to be "only run if chased," and I did a really stellar job of sticking to it. One of my old roommates RAN MARATHONS while I sat on the couch eating ice cream and watching "The Hills." But, oh, how things have changed! I've become a runner.

I got the urge to try running last spring. Some friends were doing it and getting all skinny and healthy and sh**. I figured there are worse bandwagons to jump on. But want to know what really got me hooked? Run Club. Run Club is awesome (though I should note that "club" is kind of a misnomer -- it's just me and my friend Alyssa). First, we go out for a run, maybe two or three miles. Then, we go to straight the bar. We sit in our sweaty workout clothes and eat cheeseburgers and drink beer. Yeah, we "earn" those beers, but let me tell you: Running straight to the bar makes you feel kinda sexy in a sweaty, "No biggie, I work out" sorta way. (But do a cool-down walk first to make sure your vibe is "sexy and confident" not "oh my God her face is so red, is she asphyxiating?") Just try it.

But here's the thing: While I lost weight at today's weigh-in (down 5 pounds since we started!), my body fat percentage didn't change. While Rowdy was quick to assure me that the dropped pounds weren't necessarily all muscle (it could be water weight), some most definitely was. And that sucked. I want Michelle Obama arms!



The problem? I became a cardio queen. Summer is full of commitments: Weddings! Birthdays! Day-drinking at weddings and birthdays! It's been hard to get to the gym. And it's been really nice outside, so running around the park was way more appealing than lifting indoors. So, while running seemed like a good thing on paper (I was burning about 500 calories/hour -- that's like an entire bottle of wine -- I'm set!), I haven't properly adjusted my eating habits eating, so my body isn't getting what it needs to maintain and build muscle. I'm a classic case of Too Much Cardio + Poor Nutritional Choices + No Lifting = Dumb-Girl Fake Weight Loss. I'm now taking a multivitamin and drinking that gross pink AminoBoostXXL (see below) after my runs because, like Rowdy said (he's seriously encouraging), "I can see those muscles forming! Don't throw out all your hard work!"

Julieanne:
Julieanne Fun Fact Time: I have a terrible temper. When I'm angry, I basically turn into Emilio Estevez in "The Breakfast Club." This morning, I put on my workout shorts and noticed they were tight, which caused me to yell, "ANDREW! Your intensity is for SH**!!! WIN! WIN! WIN!" And then I screamed and it caused a glass door to shatter.

Here's the deal, guys: I didn't fall off the wagon this past week so much as airborne toboggan off of it. I went to the appetizer-loving Midwest (dangerous) for a wedding (dangerous-er) while extremely hormonal (threat level: midnight). At the reception, I drowned my non-plus-one-having sorrows in fried risotto balls, a zillion Manhattans, and a million-billion glasses of wine. Oh, and there was cake. So, so much cake. This necessitated a day of hangover eating with my mom and sister that included pizza, wings, frozen Snickers and -- oh yes -- beer. As for exercise? My extremely enthusiastic breakdown during the rap in "Just Dance" notwithstanding, I did nary a lick of exercise.

Friends! This morning? During our workout with Rowdy? I did not feel great! I was getting sexy arms and I blew it.

But, as Rowdy so sweetly wrote in a follow-up email (I think he saw my nostrils wildly flaring during every angry crunch I did), "I know that we will have similar results when we measure and if you feel different get back on the wagon because fitness isn't about being perfect." AWwwwwwWWW Rowdy is the best! (Rowdy Fun Fact Time: He loves English bulldogs.)

Our Supplements:

Erin and Julieanne picked up the Lean90Pak. For the first 30 days, you take FatRelease, which helps support your liver. Erin and Julieanne's livers definitely need extra help. Then you switch to the CarbRepel, which helps you feel "fuller sooner and for longer." (Julieanne especially needs this, as she eats like a dog -- she'll keep eating anything if you leave the whole bag.)
The last 30 days, you take the ThermAccel, which Carrie just got independently of the Lean90Pak kit. It uses "a natural stimulant to help increase your metabolism." Obviously, we want to ramp stuff up. So far, it has made her really hungry. Huh.
Julieanne also got the AminoBoostXXL, which is a powder you mix with water before and after a workout to keep from losing muscle (it encourages "protein muscle synthesis" and "new muscle growth" -- w00t). It's pink, but since Rowdy also likes it, it made us feel manly.

Check back next week for exciting details of our fitness adventures!

We'll let you know how the addition of supplements (which is one of Rowdy's five components of fitness) work out for us.


Have your own fitness questions? Ask us on Facebook, tweet to us @lemondroptweets with the hashtag #9toFine or fill out the form below and we'll do our best to get them answered by professionals.