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A chocolate fountain, a vintage photo booth, a congo band, a master cigar roller and an open bar ... Sounds like the most incredible wedding reception ever, right?As a lucky guest at this, the unforgettable shindig of a friend, I can confirm that it was. But after the festivities were over and the headache subsided, I wondered if it would have been as much fun (or just plain dorky) without booze.
According to a recent CNN poll, 38 percent of wedding guests don't mind if the bar isn't fully stocked, but they do
Yeah, it seems like a jerky thing to ask people to bring gifts and pay to toast you -- especially since a lot of us are also paying for a dress or transportation to and from the event. As a friend who is planning a wedding told me, "A cash bar is tempting because the alcohol is such a major line item in the wedding budget. But etiquette-wise, it's my party, so I should foot the bill."
"I always advise couples against cash bars," says wedding planner Aisha Gayle, owner of Con Gusto Events in New York City. "I'd rather see a limited bar -- a signature cocktail, plus wine and beer -- over a fully stocked cash bar. That said, rule number one remains 'Be true to thy budget.'"
Well, if things continue on as they are -- the U.S. treasury secretary recently warned that jobless rates may soar again -- the cash bar could become a real trend that guest may have to get used to.
No worries if you're inviting us to your wedding; we'll settle for one free glass of champagne. That's all we need to get our Electric Slide on and poppin' without feeling self-conscious. Besides, isn't a wedding supposed to be about celebrating the happy couple, not the happy hour?
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Monday 23 August
By Jenny
People are so selfish sometimes. Do you really only have fun when you're buzzed or drunk? Lame. Grab some cake and punch, smile, laugh, mingle. And if you're pissed that your friend's wedding doesn't have an open bar I don't really think you are their friend. Also, people getting married, be careful with your guest list. Most of the alcoholic flunkies that are complaining here shouldn't be invited to a wedding. And maybe some of your alcoholic friends shouldn't either. They don't know what a wedding is about anyway (hint - its about the married couple).Moments in life are fleeting and we don't spend much time on this earth. Take the time to celebrate your friends not the open bar.
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Monday 23 August
By Mark
I agree with you 100%! I'm even hesitant to have a cash bar at my own wedding. It's a travesty that alcohol is seen as a necessity at any gathering. I can't stand it and those who need it to have a good time!!!
Wednesday 08 September
By Jessica
There most likely will not be alcohol at my wedding. My fiance and I have certain guests who are volatile personalities... and we certainly don't want to add any social lubrication into the mix. Plus, if my guests are going to be pissed if I give them a wide variety of drinks but no booze, then they're not the kind of people I want at my wedding.
I honestly don't understand that attitude. I respect someone to have that opinion, but that doesn't mean that I understand or sympathize with it. If people are so dependent on alcohol to make a special event enjoyable, then maybe they need to re-evaluate why they're going to the wedding in the first place.
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Thursday 09 September
By ch shahid
i am ch shahid from pakistn punjab bahwal pur and my hobies chating frindship loving
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Monday 13 September
By alicks
As someone who works at a lot of weddings as a bartender, I would say the best way to go is with a toonie bar (drinks are two dollars each). Just like another commenter said, it's not so much money that it would discourage guests to drink or even attend, but at the same time, it's almost enough to cover the cost of the alcohol.
I've worked at weddings where there's been an open bar, and many times it just gets really, really out of hand. When the drinks are free, people get wasted and sloppy and that's when the drama and the fights break out. And since the drinks are free, guests don't even think twice about ordering another drink. At the end of the night, I find so many full bottles of beer and full glasses of wine or liquor. The bride and groom still have to pay for all these unfinished beverages, and the cost can get tremendous.
Even when someone is paying two dollars per drink, it's not a lot of money that it discourages guests from coming to your wedding, but it's enough money that someone will still think twice about ordering that drink that is probably unneccessary.
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Tuesday 14 September
By JMH
I have been to two 'dry' weddings and I found them both lame and boring and everyone left early and didn't seem to have much fun. One even made us buy our own soft drink!
Regardless of all the excuses, it feels CHEAP if you don't provide wine to toast you with. Toasting with lemonade is tacky.
Fair enough you don't need to buy out a bottleshop, but there should be at least sparkling for the toast and wine with dinner.
People say 'oh but it's about our ceremony and celebrating our commitment guests shouldn't care about whether we have alcohol or not' - sorry but as a guest you are expected to get to and from the wedding, buy a gift, buy an engagement present, blah blah blah if we didn't care we wouldn't be there full stop you should at least have the decency and the taste to put on a few bottles of wine.
If you don't trust your guests, you can control how drunk people get by how much alcohol you supply.
If your budget is low just buy what you can afford.
If you don't drink, you are in the minority, so think about your guests and stop being so self centered.
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Tuesday 14 September
By Caeli
So, 5% of invitees won't show up if they know that a cash bar is part of the reception. Well, you know what: good riddance. If a guest's only motivation for showing up to your wedding is to get hammered, do you really want them there? I got married 8 years ago. My spouse was still in college and I had just graduated. We had a budget of $ 1,500--yes, $1,500, not $15,000!!! Neither of us believe in the pomp and circumstance that goes into so many weddings. We just wanted to make a memorable day for ourselves and share it with our closest friends and family members. I won't go into the details, as I am sure most people are not interested, but to make a long story short, we fed our friends and family well and supplied them each with a glass of champagne and an unlimited supply of water. I am sure that my spouse's rich Aunt from Long Island might have said something to her daughter that night on the phone about the "cheapness" of our soiree, but ask me if I cared if she had. To me knowledge, our friends and family, all 40 of whom had come to celebrate with us, had come to do just that, celebrate--with US. If any had felt jilted by the lack of a "cash bar," I am sure they got over it. I was not about to spend my hard earned--and at the time, limited--funds on someone else's drunk fest. To this day, I still wouldn't. So you go ahead and have your "cash bar wedding," folks. Those who matter will show up regardless. And those who don't show up--well, at least you know where you stand with them, and you can cross them off your guest list for future engagements :-) Really quite easy, isn't it.
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Tuesday 14 September
By Julie
EASY ! THIS DAY IS NOT ABOUT YOU (GUEST). THIS DAY SHOULD BE ALL ABOUT THE WEDDING COUPLE>>>> That is what is wrong with this country everyone thinks about their self and not any one else. Then people have the nerve to comment . You need to really think about what you really sound like. This is a day for family friend to come together in GODS house and share a special moment . HELLO WAKE UP AND BE A BETTER PERSON AND FIND SOMETHING ESLE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT. NO GO OUT TODAY AND HELP SOMEONE IN NEED.
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Tuesday 14 September
By trappedinNJ
The choice should be up to the couple. But it should be made clear if it is a dry wedding, cash or open bar. Then the guests will know what to expect, if you don't want to go send a small gift and decline. Another solution would be to go with a smaller hall, and have beer wine and soda. When my parents got married they put different bottles on tables and people had to mingle more if they wanted to fix their own drinks. Just the basics, scotch, rye, whiskey etc. Made people talk to each other more
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Tuesday 14 September
By Marg
For Christ's sake (literally) doesn't anyone remember His turning water into wine at the marriage at Cana? I am not religious nor a booze hound but if it was good enough for Christ it's good enough for me. Lighten up - it's a party!
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Tuesday 14 September
By lesli
I had a huge argument with my mother planning my wedding, I wanted just appetizers and drinks she insisted that it was after 6 in the evening so these people expected dinner. My response was if they want a free buffett they could go to Vegas instead of my wedding. I feel the same about the bar. Get over it, lushes! Growing up with weddings being an alcoholic event it was also an expectation, but in my home state where I got married, it wasn't just the alcohol you had to pay for, but the bartender and the undercover cop for the event as well. Not to mention, all the laws now where its possible if a guest knowingly leaves your event trashed and causes harm, you are liable. How would you feel to know that Aunt Lulu killed three kids and their parents on her way home? There's just too many Uncles/ College roommates that haven't grown up, that can ruin a party when trashed. Sorry.
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Tuesday 14 September
By lesli
Sorry, spelled buffet wrong!
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Saturday 18 September
By jacindatull
If someone doesnt come to your wedding because lack of alcohol, screw them, they are obviously not a good/ true friend.
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Saturday 16 October
By buffgirl
So if you have a cash bar, do you still expect a gift from every guest? I think there are certain expectations for a wedding, and guests should know ahead of time if they need to buy or provide their own drinks. The worst is when we drove 13 hours for my SIL's wedding for which she provided no invites. Everyone was scrambling around trying to find the place. There was a small dry reception with cheese, cake, and candy. Then they invited everyone to Hibachi to celebrate. They reserved a private room, we ate, they opened all the gifts, announced the dollar amounts everyone gave, and then had the waiters hand every guest their own check! Wedding lasted less than a year, imagine...
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