romantic couple in bedWe all know that the vibe of a restaurant can tip the scales between a breathtakingly romantic evening and an embarrassingly awkward first date. Similarly, and even more importantly, the atmosphere of your bedroom can make all the difference when it comes to your love life.

Once you become aware of this, a lot of what I'm about to tell you is simply common sense. For example: most would agree that nothing says "not sexy" like the presence of your mom or your little cousins so, naturally, get their pictures off your nightstand! Which brings me to tip number one ...

1. Choose Imagery That Puts You (and Him) in the Mood

As every ad executive knows, imagery is extremely powerful when it comes to influencing our actions and moods. With this in mind, look at every photo and art piece that you're currently displaying and ask yourself, "Does this make me feel sexy/romantic/sensual? Or ... not?" Some good choices to display might be:
-a piece of depicting a couple embracing (such as "The Kiss" by Gustave Klimt)
-an earthy landscape with warm colors and/or flowers
-a photo of you and your partner during a romantic evening or getaway
-anything that feels sexy and reminds you of romance and togetherness

2. Go Heavy on the Warm
Warm and earthy colors open the heart and activate emotional connection. That's why it's best if colors such as red, rust, orange, pink, terra cotta, brown, yellow, gold or beige predominate in your bedding choices. If you're a big fan of pure white sheets, at least add touches of warmth in the accessories (throw pillows, duvet, or blanket). Cooler colors like green and blue can be cooling to the emotions and passions.

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3. Be Touchy-Feely

A faux fur or chenille throw, a plush area rug, or a satin throw pillow or two can add a luxurious flavor to our amorous adventures while getting us out of our heads and into our bodies.

4. Flatter Yourself
Have you ever been to a strip club? I have. The lighting was superb, and made every dancer look like a goddess no matter how many curves she may or may not have possessed. Why not treat your bedroom the same way? Flatter your body and illuminate your goddess-ness with soft and ambient lighting. You might consider:
-a strand of white twinkle (Christmas) lights
-strategically placed red lightbulbs
-candles

5. Put Your Work Stuff Somewhere Else
You have to focus! Bedrooms are for intimacy, romance, and rest (all three of which work together synergistically for best results). Items that remind you of work can be distracting and subtly yet powerfully detrimental to the desired mood.

6. Diffuse Aphrodisiacs

Love potions are real things! There are a number of natural essential oils (available online and at health food stores) that are not only relaxing and stress-relieving, but are also known aphrodisiacs. Put a few drops in an oil burner or diffuser to reap their benefits. Some good choices would include:
-jasmine
-vanilla
-patchouli
-ylang ylang

7. Promote Equality and Create the Space for Two

Whether you currently share a bedroom or not, if possible, have a nightstand and a lamp on each side of the bed. If there's no room for nightstands, see if you can otherwise treat both sides of the bed the same way. This promotes feelings of equality and respect in your relationship, or if you're single, it's the fastest way to find someone new to claim the other half.


Tess Whitehurst is a Los Angeles–based feng shui consultant and the author of "Magical Housekeeping: Simple Charms and Practical Tips for Creating a Harmonious Home." She's appeared on the Bravo TV show "Flipping Out."