Lemondrop

As you may or may not have heard, there's been a huge shake-up in the lady blogosphere! Jezebel is throwing shade at "The Daily Show" for not hiring enough women! Emily Gould is throwing shade at Jezebel for being traffic-grubbing provacateuses! The women of "The Daily Show" wrote, like, a letter to the Internet or something! I went to the vending machine and bitched because the Vitamin Water 10 was WARM!

If you missed all of it, fear not. We've prepared this handy-dandy guide to all this Web-infighting.

You can trust our take on it because Lemondrop is not a feminist blog. We're part of Aol, which means we won't judge you for wanting to stay home with your kids and make toffee and use dial-up. We LOVE weight loss and boys and popular ladymags -- we scan them regularly for protips on how to make women hate their bodies more and how to trick more of them into putting scrunchies on their boyfriend's penises. Just today, I went and got a Brazilian wax and made a rape joke to the aesthetician. (I later apologized.) When people ask us if we're like Jezebel, we're like, "Yes, but less angry, and with more gay husbands."

The point is, you can trust us to guide you seamlessly and neutrally through this (no doubt hormone-fueled) debate. Then, you need to pick a side. If you don't, you're basically saying you're not a woman and you'll be forced to remit ownership of your vagina post-haste.

So here's what happened, basically:

1) There was a show called "Saturday Night Live" that used to be relevant when it did things like almost reunite the Beatles and keep Tim Meadows in enough movie cameos to feed his children. During this time, people used to write incendiary articles about how it was hard to be a woman working on the show.

2) Then Tina Fey happened, and shortly after she left and made her own cool show, SNL got about as funny as getting your labia caught in a shop vac. Also, there were a lot more women who worked there; Amy Poehler got her own show; and they, like, put Betty White on and started celebrating girls 24/7. Thus, it became sort of hard to bitch about "Saturday Night Live," because, um, it was actually a good place to work ... for ladies! Thus, it was time to pick a new program that seemed male-dominated. Enter: "The Daily Show."

3) Over at Jezebel, a Gawker media site, Irin Carmon wrote an incendiary article about how hard it is to be a woman working on "The Daily Show." It pretty much said that the show's new female correspondent, Olivia Munn (if you don't make your living here on the Internet, she's the former host of G4's "Attack of the Show," a dude-mag cover girl and published author), was basically famous for simulating blowjobs and having a really great butt.

4) Over at Slate, Emily Gould, a former Gawker media employee, wrote a kind-of response piece saying that Jezebel and Broadsheet and those other ladyblogs are a bunch of Bitter McBittersons who like to pull our metaphorical tampon strings for pageviews. We here at Lemondrop were like, "What's a pageview?" and immediately called tech support.

5) My Lemondrop co-editor Erin and I pretty much agreed with Emily's "making people angry drives traffic" theory, but we were already working on something more important. I wanted to get Thai food for lunch, and Erin was "in a hummus place." Ultimately, I was like, "F**k it. If we can't decide, I'm just going to go to Duane Reade and buy a seaweed salad." I did. It was OK.

6) Over at Comedy Central, the female employees of "The Daily Show" -- who make up 40 percent of the staff -- wrote a response piece to that response piece along the lines of "Hey, Jezebel, go sell feminism someplace else. We're all stocked up here!"

7) Then independent ladyblogger Sady Doyle over at Tigerbeatdown wrote a response piece to that response piece! It hurt my head and I couldn't do math for an hour.

8) Salon writer Julie Klausner said this.

9) Comedy Central employee Olivia Munn said this.

10) [Sundry Internet reactions and reblogs!]

11) Somebody forwarded me the Emily Gould piece, and I felt remiss for not covering, so I hastily wrote this!

12) The New York Times weighed in approximately 33 days ahead of schedule!

WHEW. So that's the story so far, ladies and accidental older gentleman reader who came here from Aol's main page. Don't go getting yourself down about all the things you could have just done with the time you spent familiarizing yourself with this catfight (memorizing the MC Hammer rap from "The Addams Family," Googling "Joseph Gordon-Levitt girlfriend") and just admit that it's more entertaining (and pointless!) than watching Lohan crying in court on endless, schadenfreudy loop.

We'll be monitoring who's chiming in next as closely as Lebron "Cuyahoga Jesus" James' Twitter. We'll bring you updates as they come. Till then, feel free to weigh in below. We love pageviews and comments hearing from our readers.

Julieanne Smolinski is Lemondrop's Articles Editor. Follow her on Twitter before Prince formally ends the Internet.