Unlike Oprah, our version of our "Best Life" involves drinking beer, eating ice cream and always looking smokin' hot.

Unfortunately, making that vision a reality takes work -- of the sweaty, iron-pumping variety. Like so many of you, we're tethered to a desk all day. Sometimes our only trips out of the office involve fetching more caffeine.

But after a few different "Come to Jesus" moments -- one of us was recently asked if she was pregnant, by an otherwise non-evil elderly woman -- we've decided it's time to get our asses in gear. So we hauled our butts to Crunch Fitness, and they signed on to help us.

With the help of Rowdy, our very buff trainer who hails from Texas -- and, more importantly, who told us we didn't have to give up booze or peanut M&Ms (check him out after the jump) -- we bring you 9 to Fine: The Cubicle Slave's Guide to Fitting In Her Skinny Jeans Before Summer Is Over.

Seriously. We're logging every morsel we eat, as well as the calories we burn, all on a program called dotFIT that you can use, too. Our mission: To see who -- among us, and you -- can get as close to our goal as possible.

After the jump, we've started by coming clean, revealing our body fat percentages, biggest food weaknesses and current fitness routines (or lack thereof). Now we want you to, too. Seriously. Post a photo of the "before" you on our Facebook page, and get in the 9 to Fine program -- we'll be turning all the wall posts into an album, so we can support and encourage each other along the way.

In our next post, we'll tell you exactly how to sign up for dotFIT, and then each week we'll check in to share Rowdy's training tips, nutritional wisdom and everything else we learn about how office girls can get buff, too. Have your own fitness questions? Ask us on Facebook or Tweet to us @lemondroptweets with the hashtag #9toFine and we'll do our best to get them answered by professionals.

Julieanne Smolinski, 26
Lemondrop Articles Editor

Body Fat: 24 percent
Biggest Weakness: Sweet lady booze
Biggest Advantage: That same compulsive personality that leads to excess drinking? Can mysteriously be channeled into obsessive exercise.

Current Exercise Outlook: I've ramped up the amount of cardio I've been doing from "making an effort to walk more" to hitting the gym five or so times a week. I've really started to look forward to working out at the end of the day ... which is new and frightening for me.

The Good: I come from an absurdly competitive family (my sister and I used to count the marshmallows in our Lucky Charms to see who got more -- seriously). So if I have the chance to show up my darling co-workers and firm up my whooty at the same time, you can bet I'm going to bring it like 'Pac. Food-wise? I'm an inveterate dieter, I live alone, and I don't really have a huge appetite (when I'm sober), so calorie restriction isn't a problem for me.
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The Bad: I do drink quite a bit! And since I don't eat at regular intervals, I tend to have one huge, million-calorie meal a day, like a sperm whale. I actually kind of hate eating breakfast and having to eat multiple times a day, which I know is the best way to get my metabolism going. If I go out for after-work drinks and then just have a late-night dinner/snack when I'm home, I might wake up and realize that my food intake for the day was "three Wild Turkeys and some Pop Tarts." I don't want to live like Jeff Bridges in "Crazy Heart."

Goals: I've been on this horrible spree of hooking up with boys who are thinner than I am. It makes me feel like those South American frogs where the female is like three times the size of the male. I'd like to weigh less than the dudes I nakey down with. Oh, and also, like, feel healthy or whatever.

Rowdy's Training Tip I Loved: In the past, I've just cut out carbs when I've tried to lose weight. But Rowdy told me that when you cut out carbs, you lose water weight and but not actual chunk. (If you don't give your body that energy, it won't burn fat.) It's not about cutting out certain foods, but simply burning more calories than you're eating. Restricting the stuff I eat and drink has, historically, not worked well for me.

Erin Scottberg, 26
Lemondrop Community Editor

Body Fat: 26 percent
Biggest Weakness: Beer. Good beer, light beer, all beer. Oh, and cheese.
Biggest Advantage: I've started biking everywhere -- including to work.

Current Exercise Outlook: I work out in order to counteract the massive amounts I eat and drink, so I'm trying to move from "maintaining" to "losing." And it's a really good stress reliever, too -- I never believed that hype before but it is. (Julieanne agrees.)

The Good: Ideally, I work out three to five times a week, though I usually have an "off" week once a month where time only allows me to get to the gym once or twice, if that. A workout to me is cardio (either the elliptical or my bike ride to and from work), and some basic free weights. I'm also slightly addicted to spinning. There's nothing like a dark room with black lights and some classic '90s pop music to get your heart rate up.

The Bad: I like to drink. Beer and whiskey especially. If I'm going for longevity, I'll stick with something like Miller Lite. But my drink of choice would be a delicious, hoppy IPA, or a whiskey on the rocks. I've tried ordering a vodka soda at the bar, but it's embarrassing. I'm a also a card-carrying member of the Clean Plate Club. In fact, being a Midwesterner in New York, I sometimes feel like I have to eat more because I'm surrounded by women who think a snack-pack of cottage cheese counts as a meal. It's not a smart mentality, but someone's got to represent Women Who Eat.

Goals: Get back into my "skinny" jeans -- and I'm not talking about the cut, but rather the jeans I wore "back when I was skinny." I've recently realized that I no longer have the metabolism (or free time) of a college student, so I have to be more careful about what I put into my body -- and how much of it. I can't really afford a new wardrobe ... Oh, and I'd love to get some really buff arms, but that requires being able to do more than five good-form push-ups in a row.

Rowdy's Training Tip I Loved: The number of calories in an alcoholic drink is directly proportional to the amount of alcohol in them (their ABV, or alcohol by volume). Check it out: a 12-ounce beer (5 percent ABV), a 5-ounce glass of wine (12 percent) of a 1.5-ounce shot of hard liquor (40 percent) all have the same number of calories. Sure, their sugars and carbs differ slightly, but it's the calories that get you. (FYI: here's a great list of beers and their calories/ABV/carbs.)

Carrie Sloan, 35
Lemondrop Editor-in-Chief
Body Fat: A whopping 29 percent of me. Apparently I'm squishier than Charmin.

Biggest Weakness:
Carbs. Bread baskets. Foreign accents.

Biggest Advantage: I actually love to exercise. Nothing makes me happier than running or doing yoga. It's just that my butt has become one with my office chair.

Current Exercise Outlook: I'm definitely going to run tonight ... oh wait, I forgot to pack socks. And what's that you say about happy hour? No, I mean, I'll definitely go tomorrow ...

The Good: I played a bunch of sports in high school, and if you get me near a soccer field, I still get fiercely competitive. I've always considered myself an athlete; the problem is, right now, the only thing I do is watch the World Cup.

The Bad: I don't believe in diets. The minute I deprive myself, I eat everything in sight, so I was always an "I'll eat what I want, and I'll just run more" kind of girl. Then I started my new job, and since then I've rivaled sloths for slovenliness. In fact, we recently had free "How fat are you, really?" testing at work, and when I stepped on the scale, lo and behold, I found out I'd gained 10 pounds in the six months that I'd been at Lemondrop. Gulpety-gulp. I also never realized that weight could creep up on you like this. I thought you just kind of woke up fat one day, cartoon style. (Nice to meet you, my mid-thirties.)

Goal: Um, lose 22 pounds. No, seriously. (And according to dotFIT, I can do it at a rate of -.1 pounds a day, which sounds incredibly do-able.) Firm up. Slim down. Get arms like Michelle Obama's. Legs like a boy's. And be in a better mood because I actually break a sweat over something other than deadlines.

Rowdy's Training Tip I Loved: His horse vs. bear analogy: Have you ever seen a fat horse? No. And that's because horses graze, whereas bears binge. He taught us to eat a small meal -- around 200 calories -- every two hours, or else your body starts storing fat in case of starvation. (Ha.) And here I always thought I was doing myself a favor by skipping lunch.


Visit Crunch! So, despite their sinister intention to rid us of our precious body fat, we adored Rowdy and Crunch for their no-BS, no-judgment ethos ... and the fact that, like Six Flags, there's probably always one near you. And as part of their "Sets, Grunts and Rock'n Roll" 21st-anniversary celebration, they're giving away prizes like free memberships, workout gear, and private classes. OH!! And Lady Gaga tickets (really). So you have absolutely no excuse not to check them out.

So get your butt in gear with us this summer, Working Gals. It's only fair.

Next week: Read more about our first training session with Rowdy (the dreamboat at left, who is actually much cuter than this picture).