Lemondrop

One year ago, our childhood hero and music legend Michael Jackson unexpectedly passed away. We were shocked. We were confused. We were overwhelmed by an unconquerable urge to party. It was all very emotional and also drunk.

Apparently, this year, in memory of that tragic day, website Predicto Mobile, has come up with "The King of Pop's Top 10 Text Message–Ready Lyrics." We guess it's for those of us who want to look sad but have no idea how any Michael Jackson song actually goes. A good example:

The-way-u-make-me-feel(x2) U-really-turn-me-on(x2) U-knock-me-off-of-my-feet(x2) My-lonely-days-are-gone(x2)

Ahhh yes. Because nothing says "I love MJ!!!" quite like making sure you include how many times to repeat a line in a text. It practically screams "I'm most certainly not listening to Michael Jackson right now, but I want to seem cool so I'm pretending I am! Also, I'm 12!!!!"

Shamon, Predicto -- you can't replace a lifetime of secretly having a horrible mashup of "Man in the Mirror" and "Black or White" stuck in your head with a list of suggested text messages somebody else has (incorrectly) spelled out for you. It's like you're trying to create an army of poseurs.

But thanks for the email letting us know what you're up to -- it'll be a good way to separate the wheat from the chaff when our phones start lighting up at 2 or so in the morning. Just beat-it(x4) No1 wants 2b defeatd, showin how funky & strong is ur fight it doesnt matter whos wrong or right just beat-it(x4) ?!?!? Seriously? Anyone who sends us that is getting unfriended immediately.

Now, if you'll excuse us, we have an all-day tear fest scheduled with this off-the-chain video of Michael circa 1987 in concert performing "Human Nature," an amazing song that somehow didn't make your list. Why, why ... oh, never mind.