Usually any fashion fad, much like a coin, has two sides: the one that makes you decry it violently and swear you'll never touch it, and the one that, two weeks later, has you secretly trying it out in the dressing room of Bloomingdale's and wondering how to explain your change of heart to your friends.
But occasionally, like with high-waisted jeans, comes a trend without any redeeming quality at all -- and the latest obsession with all things sheer falls in this category. Here are our reasons as to why buying into the transparency trend is a more dangerous pitfall than, well, than that old Atari game "Pitfall":
You'll Immediately Look Geriatric
Sheer bits on clothes are kind of like the sartorial version of being filmed with Vaseline on the lens: You look like you're trying to conceal something, and at the same time, you're drawing more attention to whatever it is than you would be if you just left well enough alone. Considering that half the time the celebs sporting this style surely have nothing to hide -- like Kirsten Dunst, here -- this seems ridiculous. Save the forgiving netting for your golden years, ladies, when you'll actually need it.You'll Look Like Half Your Outfit Ran Away
Of course, this being Courtney Love, it's possible half her outfit did
run away, out of sheer terror. More likely, though, she just picked a bad skirt that not only randomly drops its opacity, but also makes her look a tiny bit like she needs to shave her feet. If you're going for sheer, there should at least be a recognizable purpose to it, beyond just, "Hey, check it! I've got calves!"
You'll Look Like You Didn't Do It On Purpose
Erin Lucas here is famous only for being so boring on the first season of "The City" that she wasn't asked back. This is how we can assume she did do this on purpose. (After all, if you don't notice someone is a famewhore
, then by definition he/she is not a very good one.) But by and large, if the average Jane walks outside in what amounts to a bra and a sheer poncho, she's going to get a whole lot of concerned looks from people who think she has suffered a head injury, and/or innocently forgot her camisole. Don't be Head Injury Lingerie Girl.
You'll Look Like a Very Tired Prostitute
Make no mistake: We are not implying anything here about Daisy Lowe, British model and daughter of Gavin Rossdale. But picking a sheath designed solely to flaunt the contents of her underwear drawer evokes a naughty lady of the night skulking to the bus stop the morning after, because her Lotus-driving client bailed on her with nothing but a note scribbled on a Kleenex and just enough cash for some Starbucks. With sheer, less is more. Some mysteries of the human body don't need to be solved in public.
You'll Just Look Totally, Totally Insane
Let's get real. These two -- in their matching sheer get-ups and giant glasses -- look deeply eccentric. And while eccentricity is to be celebrated, it is also best deployed with a light and experienced hand, or else you'll look like you just escaped from Grey Gardens. And that's not flattering on anyone.
(All Images: Getty)