To Abby the Sailor Girl,
Seriously, truly, with tons of respect, I think you're going to be a badass woman one day. But can you do yourself a favor and just hold your horses a little bit? Or, I guess I should say, drop anchor. Because if you keep taking these risks, I'm afraid you ain't gonna make it to adulthood.
I'm reading the AP interview you just gave, now that you're back home safe, on solid ground. "A lot of people are judging me by the standards they have for their teens," you say. "They don't understand ... I do know what I'm doing."
I'm sure you do. (And, um, while we're at it, I'm sure your parents do, too.) But how many other teenagers do you think have said those exact same words before? Hmm ... probably every single one! And that's without requiring coast guard assistance on the open ocean. I don't mean to sound condescending when I say this, but the most aggravating thing about teenagers -- being one, or being near one -- is that they think they know everything and can handle everything. Which is why, in most cases, they're given two parents each to ensure they don't do anything irrevocably stupid.
And so, as someone who's personally seen two little sisters through teenager-dom, I have to tell you: If you were my sister -- or my daughter for that matter -- I would have kicked your butt before I ever let you get in that boat.
I'd have done it immediately when you very first came up with this crazy idea of sailing away, all by yourself, on one of the most dangerous missions imaginable -- all for the sake of breaking some world record that shouldn't even exist. "Youngest person ever to circumnavigate the globe alone." Seriously? Am I the only person who hasn't watched enough Hollywood movies to be brainwashed? For sure, Dad the shipwright must have been. How else could he be convinced that his 16-year-old girl was a seasoned sailor just because she felt she was.
And this is not entirely hypothetical, because I do have little sisters. One of them even circumnavigated the globe at age 19. On a Semester at Sea ship. She learned things, met people, had amazing experiences, and I said "COOL!" even though she'll probably be paying off the student loans well into retirement. Because I could see that while there might be some risk there, the rewards far outweighed them.
However, putting yourself into a situation where every day your life will be in danger, and you won't able to sleep a whole eight hours through, and you'll probably be freezing most of the time, and oh, by the way, it's pretty much expected that you'll encounter 50-foot swells somewhere in the Indian Ocean because that's just what happens this time of year ...
Well, for WHAT? A "Today" show interview and a footnote in the Guinness Book? Sweetie, no.
Are you thinking straight? Are your parents? Because, as far as I'm concerned, those pushy stage mothers got nothin' on them.
After all, there's a big difference between honoring someone's dreams and encouraging your child down the path of foolhardy destruction. I want you to stay happy, healthy and whole of limb, not be reckless with the many gifts the universe has given you, or throw yourself directly in harm's way. This is what I want for all 16-year-old girls -- as should their caretakers.
Here's the thing: Burning ambition can kill at any age. The urge to be best, first, fastest -- it's a personality trait you'll need to learn to manage if you want to survive. As a teenager? You don't have it under control at all. What you have is unshakable and unfounded confidence that nothing bad can happen to you. It's these traits that cause teenagers to die every day from far more ordinary pursuits.

As you get older, Abby, hopefully you'll gain not just years, but wisdom. In your interview you said, "It's great that there was a boat that close by," to rescue you in the middle of 3-story Indian Ocean swells. Girl, it was a miracle. And plenty of people risked their lives saving yours.
So, hopefully, if you embark on another mad mission next winter, pops will at least go along with you ... like Mr. Johnny Strange, who was hell-bent on summiting Everest at age 17. And did -- with his dad.
"I'm pretty sure I will one day sail around the world," you told us all today. And when the time is right, I'm sure you will. Believe me, when you're ready for it, I'd cheer you on. However, I also want you to be safe out there -- and find a record to break that won't break you first. So, as your honorary bossy big sister, let me just say ...
The ocean will wait, Abby. For now, get back to school. Need a ride? I'll drive you.
Lena Katz is the author of three travel guides on California --Travel Temptations Sun (beachy destinations), Sip (wineries) and Snow (you guessed it!). She has traveled to more than 50 countries and every continent except Antarctica, but after sailing in hurricane seas one time, she wouldn't wish 50-foot waves upon her worst enemy.











Comments:
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Tuesday 15 June
By Believer
Lena Katz,
You are a fool.
Reply
Thursday 17 June
By Ralph DeMattia
She's smarter that YOU are!
Tuesday 15 June
By aliles
Umm, no, you are the fool.
Tuesday 15 June
By Larry Hill
Now why in the world would you make such a stupid statement?
Tuesday 15 June
By Denise
Lena seems like an AWESOME big sister to me. She talks SENSE!
Tuesday 15 June
By AbbytheSailorH8r
i aggre that she would be a great big sissy! if i were Abby's older sister i would have kicked her ass!!!!!
Tuesday 15 June
By Gar
Adolescents are driven instinctively to break from the mold. Our society offers many options...sex, drugs, gngs, violence, community service in foreign lands, extreme sports, etc. I think that sailing around the world is far more consistent with the rites of passage and far healthier than drugs, violence and gngs. I congratulate Abbey. How old was alexander the great? He was a teen. How old was jesus when he let his family? He was a teen. How old was Joan of Arc...yes a teen.
Tuesday 15 June
By RangerMedic
At age 16, I had already met my wife to be. We were staff medics at the National Rescue and Survival School. With other teens we practiced and tought rock climbing, rapelling, steep terrain evacuation of injured, helicopter evacuation, ground search and rescue and wilderness survival. In addition, she had to break down the barriers of conventional wisdom that said young women couldn't do that.
Our fellow staff members have gone on to become surgeons, military officers, decorated service members and community leaders. There are people in every generation who are ready to accept great challanges at an early age. They often succeed and sometimes fail. None of them were afraid to try and none of them are bloggers who rant and try to deny that opportunity to others. Its okay that you are afraid to exceed your limits. Its not okay that you want to stop others from trying. Suit up or shut up.
Tuesday 15 June
By mevatron
I am glad that not everyone has your views Lena.
We are America today partly because so many young people took charge of their destiny.
We have morphed into the lazy secure society that Rome was in the end.
(And though unfortunate, the 911 incident woke us up out of that mode a little, too bad-
-such a tragic event happened to do so.) But it brought back some of that bold take charge ideals that started and expanded this great country, just as WW2 did (another tragedy though). Young people are the best capable and most able to take these type of challenges head on. A large percentage of our military are 18 through 20 and 16 isn't enough younger than that to matter much in most cases.
As for Abby she was doing just fine and had made a large amount of the trip already.
What happened to her would of happened to the oldest, most seasoned sea fairing soul.
We put limitations on young people (mostly 16 & 17) out of selfishness, we do not want anything bad to happen to our kids and believe we can control that, but we really cannot.
We shouldn't try to control them at that age but be there for them with advice, comfort
and support.
At 55 and having 3 adult daughters I know a little something about kids, especially teens.
I applaud these young people between the ages of 16 and 18 who are courage's enough to endeavor to dream and take bold action. One day these will be our leaders and I will be happy
and feel safe to be led by such strong individuals.
Tuesday 15 June
By miko
Lena is talking sence. I think it is the parents of this girl that should be blamed for allowing her to embark on a suicide mission.They should thank God that she was rescued alive
Tuesday 15 June
By Happy Jack
I have to agree, Lena IS a bit of a fool. Mostly she's just a hypocrite, jumping on a PC bandwagon.
Where were all these oh-so-concerned youth advocates a few weeks back when Jessica Watson was successfully setting the new record?
The decision to make the voyage was between the girl and her parents -- end of story. I applaud her and them -- and Jessica Watson -- for living the adventurous life.
Tuesday 15 June
By ROB
LET HER RAISE HER OWN KIDS AND LEAVE OTHERS ALONE : THIS TEENAGER IS FAR MORE MATURE AND INTELLIGENT THAN LENA KATZ . SHE WASN'T PANICKED OR SHAKEN AT SEA....SHE DID A GREAT JOB
Tuesday 15 June
By trying to be in the middle
Honestly my first thought to this article is not sympathetic TO the parents of this girl. Like she said in the article the parents know what they are doin, sooo am i missing the fact that this girls parents do not know what they are doing? The people who set the bar or try to push the limits are the ones that we think are reckless, stupid, thoughtless etc... but if she would have made the trip what would she have been then? Honestly this was her choice and to automatically think she made the wrong choice because she got in trouble is unfair and in my opinion very very wrong. The thought that teenagers think they know everything is very true, even as an adult now i do understand that i made bad decisions and thought i knew everything(well not everything but alot of things) and you know where that mentality came from? It came from all the adults that told me not to do things based on their opinions not and objective opinion a subjective one, so in relality isnt it the adults who think they know everything because they are adults? Basically what i am saying is, lady who wrote this article you are not a sailor, obviously because you are a journalist. This girl can run circles around you, me, and probably 99% percent of the sailors out there, and i base this fact that SHE CHOSE TO SAIL AROUND THE WORLD. To have that confidence you have to be sure, damn sure and even if she wasnt her parents definetly had to and to challenge their decision makes you a hypocrite in your very own article.
Tuesday 15 June
By Robert Cape
No, sweetie, you're an idiot. I lost my son at 13, I know death, and it's permanent. Grow up, as the lady said, before you risk your life and cost money the rest of the world needs to rescue your immature butt. These parents should have stayed out of the gene pool.
Tuesday 15 June
By Jay
Any parent who pimps out his daughter is not mature enough to make decisions. The girl and her family should be charged all the expenses of the rescue. If this were the usual practice there might be more common sense shown.
Tuesday 15 June
By BTDT
Caqn't blame a sixteen year old for being a nit-wit, but her parents should be horse whipped.
Tuesday 15 June
By juliavance
Maybe I should have half the gumption, or however you spell it. We live to live. where is the life in America. In our pocketbooks? Our heart is in our wallet. we do not live les we live! If a sixteen year old can do It I say at fiftytwo. I will never be able to do it. Comparitivily speaking. You Old fools were there one day. Give it a break. no asumptions allowed.
Tuesday 15 June
By ethan
i like lena's work, but i disagree completely. i firmly believe EVERY young adult needs to find who they are in the world. as for abby, she is an amazing young woman and she has my support 100% to try again!! i wish her every success. i was as reckless as they come. i graduated high school early and took off for asia for 3 months. i backpacked across europe, slept in train stations and parks for another 3 months. at 18 i took off for africa and worked in refugee camps and dug ditches and sewer lines for schools and a hospital. ALL with my parents support. they knew early on that i had to find myself and nobody could do it for me. thank god for that. years later and now a practicing md, i am happy that i did what i did. i encourage all young adults to forge ahead. even when it isn't the most popular thing with the general public.
Tuesday 15 June
By Sean
Gar: All those people accomplished great things when they were teens because the average life span was 35 back then.
Wednesday 16 June
By poot
So, you agree with her moronic parents when the say it's OK, because "if she dies, it's the Lord's will...?" Good thinking. Let's hope you're sterilized before you have kids. I suppose if she'd been kidnapped, gang raped by pirates, murdered and dumped into the sea, that would be OK with you too, because "it's the Lord's will." No, I'm afraid YOU'RE the idiot, Believer.