Welcome back to GuySpeak/GirlSpeak, the most bipartisan debate in America right now. Over at Guyspeak, girls write in and ask real guys real questions. Together, a Guyspeak guy and I pick one of the questions and each answer it the only way we know how ... the right way. Sometimes we agree, usually we don't. This week's question:

Should I send him dirty pictures, or keep everything a surprise for the long run?


This week Michael and Emily discuss the modern dating landmine that is texting sexy pictures of yourself. All the advances in technology seem specifically designed to make it insanely easy to lock yourself in the bathroom, take it off, and then spend hours getting the angles exactly right so that you look as hot as possible. But is this good for a relationship, and more importantly, is it good for you?



Guy Voice: Michael Swaim

Assuming you're not planning a political campaign and the guy isn't the webmaster of an ex-girlfriend's porno site, send away! There's nothing like visual sexting to give your guy a jolt when his circadians are down.

Getting a sexy pic from your lady always feels playful, naughty and awesome, like something that happens to James Bond, or a guy whose cell number is only one digit off from James Bond's, so he gets a lot of really confusing wrong-number calls.

And anyway, I've always been a proponent of filling our atmosphere with as much invisible, digitized smut as possible. If only every couple could be open, trusting and confident enough to send their d*ck and t*t pics rocketing through the sky at one another, perhaps one day my dream of a world where you can literally see naked people in the air will become a beautiful reality.

Of course, I'm biased as I've never really cared for surprises. But in all honesty, the difference between how you look naked on a tiny screen and what it feels like to experience your nudity firsthand is enough to ensure the surprise isn't really "ruined." Think of it as a teaser trailer!

In fact, some quick-zooms and whoosh-noises on there wouldn't be a bad idea. If I got a video of my naked wife featuring Carmina Burana, zollies, slow fade-outs and someone shouting "Release the Kraken!" right before her bra snapped off and her bosom was bathed in the warm light of an oil fire, I'd be a happy camper.




Girl Voice: Emily Gordon

I understand the temptation. Your phone is right there, it's got a really good camera, and you've already been flirty texting with this guy for a few hours.

But before you suck in your belly, twist your torso artfully, and stick that booty out, think of this: That picture you're about to send impulsively is a file. A file that contains an image of you at your most vulnerable. That file can be emailed, posted or retexted. Perez Hilton can draw stupid white stuff on it.

By sending a sexy picture, you're essentially saying, "I trust you completely with my most intimate moments." If that's not something you would say to this guy while staring deeply into his eyes, then hold off on the photo shoot.

By the wording of your question, it sounds like you have not yet been intimate with this guy, and so you're looking for ways to keep him excited until the big moment. That I find admirable, but if you haven't trusted your vagina to him yet, it's probably best not to trust a picture of your vagina to him either. Keep him interested the old-fashioned way, with slow meaningful glances, filthy written texts, and by being your usual charming, awesome self. Sending a naked pic to keep someone interested is unimaginative at best, and a serious concern after a breakup at worst.

So don't do it now. Maybe once you've been together for a long time and one of you is out of town on a business trip, you can have fun sexy Skyping each other. Digital nudity is much better at rekindling interest than jump-starting it.


Are you down with sexy-time-picture texting?
And at what point in the relationship does it become a good idea? Leave your comments below, and if you have a question you want both genders to take a shot at answering, head over to Guyspeak and ask -- it might end up back here!