Lemondrop

This week it was announced that man-shaping undergarments -- i.e., Male Spanx -- are selling faster than the company can glue them together. Or whatever voodoo they do to create undershirts that erase man-boobs and give dudes insta-pecs in their place.

We already asked a guy what he thought about those. But the next thing that occurred to us was the fact that we have no idea how real men feel when they undress us and encounter weird flesh-shaped garments that aren't, in fact, our flesh. In other words, a woman wearing Spanx!

So we decided to ask three. One's single, two are taken, and they all have definite opinions on whether Spanx are a do or a I'd-never-get-down-with-a-woman-who-was-wearing-THAT. But their answers might surprise you.


Name: Rich, full-time writer, and occasional Dove model
Age: 31
Relationship status: lives with his girlfriend

He says: "About nine months ago, I was forced to spend way too much time with my girlfriend and her eight fellow bridesmaids at a wedding in Rehoboth Beach, Del. Amid the endless chatter, endless preening and endless deliberating over what to wear next came a remarkable moment: I was introduced to Spanx ...

We had just hopped into someone's car when one of my girlfriend's friends -- I'll call her Jane -- proclaimed without prompting that her "belly was falling out." She then lifted up her shirt, grabbed with both hands what looked to me to be a spandex body suit and hiked it above her belly button.

"That's better," she announced.

I was flabbergasted. Jane* could tell, prompting her to explain precisely what they are in more detail than I needed. That, of course, triggered a conversation about what guys think about Spanx, which of course led to the question of how I would react if I ended up in bed with someone secretly wearing a pair. This is what I told them:

I wouldn't care. Guys are used to "surprises," I noted. Sagging body parts concealed by cleverly designed pants or held skyward by cleverly designed bras don't look the same in the flesh. We're used to that. And frankly, we're no different. Most dudes try to accentuate their prized body parts, with varying degrees of success. More importantly, there's nothing I find more attractive in a woman than confidence. And if wearing Spanx makes a lady feel a little more confident, I'm all for them.

Name: Michael, a regular blogger for The Campus Socialite
Age: 25
Relationship status: single (and looking)

He says: When it comes to Spanx, real men don't care, nor do they know what Spanx are. Do we feel cheated when a girl peels off a body suit that's been holding her in tighter than a cheese cloth filled to the brim with ricotta? Maybe a little, but then again you have a naked girl in front of you so buy the ticket and take the ride.

Spanx are lost in a sea of beauty-enhancing products and cosmetic surgery, like high heels, push-up bras, hair extensions, lip injections, false-color contacts and fake nails. It's not right to single out women who use Spanx; you might as well condemn every female for anything they have done to improve their image whether it be for others or for themselves.

It's not such a bad thing seeing a body suit hugging a girl tight in all the right places like every superheroine of your prepubescent, comic book dreams. I'm sure some of us guys wouldn't mind some Spanx for men without the feminine stigma attached. After all, plenty of dudes walking around with guts n' moobs (man boobs).

Is Spanx a solution -- for either sex? I say hell no, it's just a temporary fix and no substitute for a fit, healthy body. So rock your Spanx to the gym and try to lose whatever you're tucking back, 'cause one of these days those seams are going to burst and you're gonna spill out into the streets like the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man. So suck it up or suck it in and wear 'em proud, you sexy thing.

Name: Nick, blogger for Asylum and GuySpeak's "Chic Geek"
Age: 32
Relationship status: in a relationship

He says: Michael is correct in saying that men don't really care whether you're wearing Spanx, pantyhose or an old-timey girdle like Joan from "Mad Men." Spanx are no different than padded bras, hair plugs, shoe lifts, cucumbers in your underwear (like Patrick Dempsey in "Meatballs 3") or any of the other quick-fix methods that men and women use to improve their self-image.

As a fan of curvy women, I kind of hate Spanx. They hide the soft, natural parts of a woman that make life worth living. Who wants to look like Spanx fan (and real-life Skeletor) Gwyneth Paltrow? Shapely hips are sexy. Bellies are sexy. I long for the day when women rise up and burn their Spanx, their wonderful curves free for all the world (me) to see.

As for the male Spanx (Manx?), I would agree with Jezebel's assessment that any guy who says they're strapping on a man-girdle strictly for lower-back-pain relief and not to hold in his gut, is kidding himself. So if some d-bag judges you for wearing Spanx, chances are he's holding in his beer-and-cheese belly with a Mirdle or some other device he purchased on late-night TV.

If wearing Spanx makes you feel sexy and confident, go forth, I say. Though, do we have to call them "Spanx"? It's one of those dumb buzzwords (like "Snuggie" or "bromance") that are kind of cute the first time you hear them but grow increasingly more annoying with time. Once Courteney Cox throws out her pair and quips "Spanx for the memories!" on "Cougar Town," the trend will officially be over.