When Jonathan Howard and Gregory Jones, both 29, first decided to enter the Ultimate Wedding Contest -- a competition co-sponsored by Crate & Barrel and Daily Candy that would earn one lucky couple a $100,000 dream wedding -- they were in it to win the fairy tale."It was just before Valentine's Day, and I'd opened up my email and seen one from Crate and Barrel, and it said 'The Ultimate Wedding Contest: Win $100,000!,'" says Greg, a clinical psychologist. "I was like, 'Jon, come here!'"
Yesterday, the couple, who are engaged and live in Washington, D.C., were crowned the second place winners, free to choose $7,500 of Crate & Barrel bounty for their registry.
No, it's not a cool hundred grand (that went to this happy couple.) But they're not exactly crying in the couch department either. That's because, for Jon and Greg, the road to the winner's circle hasn't exactly been paved with rose petals. In fact, on the way there, they were victims of a violent hate crime, harassed by a homophobic blogger, and both emerged new men as a result.
"We entered to win because we wanted to win a $100,000 wedding," says Greg. "We thought it would be fun. But now we call those our famous last words: It became something much bigger than us."
After the jump, hear how their story unfolded, the thing they want most on their registry -- and why they're proud to be Crate & Barrel's first poster boys for wedded bliss.
Lemondrop: When you say "it would be fun" were your famous last words, what do you mean exactly?
Greg & Jonathan: It wasn't that it wasn't fun, but it snowballed into something much, much bigger than just entering a contest. We were actually in first place for the voting for a little while, and that's when the blogs started attacking us. GLAAD stepped up and took us in. First it was our local chapter, the D.C. chapter, then the national chapter was supporting us, saying, "This is a good cause. These guys are really standing up for something that matters."
And who was doing the attacking?
Well, it's actually started again, last night when Crate & Barrel announced the winners. There's a guy who claims to be a Chicago police officer [Editor's Note: Click at your own risk. This blog contains some vile content], and in the beginning he was supporting the couple who won first place, advocating people to vote for them [instead of us.] He was drawing pictures of dildos and gerbils all over our photos. And he's got 6 million followers.
They shut down his blog after a few days, and everything was calm for a while, but it was back up soon. We really don't like to emphasize that part of the experience, though. We don't want to make the negativity a huge part of this.
OK, let's talk about something happier. What are you most excited about on your registry?
Greg: Jon really loves his cheese dome!
Jonathan: Greg really enjoys entertaining, so it was to entertain and have a nice party. I don't cook; Greg does, but the entertaining was something we were both excited about. I like the cheese dome. I think it's cute.

And how did you first meet?
Through mutual friends in Boston, while Greg was there doing his fellowship in clinical psychology at Harvard, and we became close friends quickly. We were friends for a year before we first started dating. Then we moved down to D.C., and I think the friendship really allowed us to know each other a lot better and made us a lot more stable as a couple.
Your story that's up on Crate and Barrel -- about how you met, and why you entered -- alludes to the fact that you had to overcome some "hatred" in the course of your relationship. What did you mean by that?
Well, right before we moved to Washington D.C., Jon and three of our friends were attacked in a brutal gay bashing. Jonathan was left unconscious in the middle of the street, as a guy was bashing in his head, screaming, "Die, faggot, die."
The attack got a lot of attention. The police who responded were really supportive. They were able to catch one of the four people, and he pleaded guilty, but the judge gave him a two-year suspended sentence: It was his first offense. A lot of the [gay rights] organizations were really upset. Protests were organized. That's when we started getting really involved and standing up for equality.
It's hard to believe that crimes like this still happen.
Jonathan: Yeah. It was awful. But it really helped me stand up and say, "It's time for me to speak out about what's happening. It's one of those life-changing experiences. It's awful that it happened, and it's great that it happened."
Greg: The Advocate and other magazines picked the story up. And Senator Kennedy's team used one of Jonathan's blog entries in their speech for the hate crimes legislation. When we entered the contest, the people behind us saw the chance to take a nightmare and turn it into a fairy tale.
We began to become passionate about what it was standing for once we realized that this had become a platform to speak up for equality.
When did you officially enter the contest?
Greg: I think we entered just before Valentine's Day, and by February 27, we were up to first place. It was early on in the competition. We were one of the first same-sex couples to enter. The day we moved into first, I was talking to my future sister-in-law online, and we were watching, and my heart was flying. I called Jon, and I was jumping up and down, yelling, "We're actually in first place!"
We thought we would do OK. We didn't imagine that it would be like this.
What did it feel like to win second place -- and $7,500 toward your registry?
Greg: We really appreciate it -- it's great! -- but the funny thing is the way it's all snowballed, when we really didn't think anything of entering.
I mean, in D.C., we can get married. We were there on March 3 of this year, the first day they legalized gay marriage, and you could apply for your license. It was a really magical day. There weren't that many negative protesters outside. In fact, there was a group of students there, and every time someone started shouting something, they would start singing Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance" to drown them out.
We were the 20th couple to apply for our license. It was an awesome experience -- awesome since we'd already entered the contest, and started writing in favor of marriage being legalized. Everyone was saying, "You guys are making the difference." It was nice to hear.
Jonathan: The New York Times picked up the story that day and ran our picture. I was in tears when it came out. This has just been a crazy, amazing journey.

Is there anything you'd like to say to anyone who wrote all those hateful things along the way?
It's sad that there were those people, but the most important thing for us is to say thank you for all of the positive support we got. All of the people who were willing to donate Facebook status updates or write articles about us.
We also want to say thank you to Crate & Barrel because -- well, some people are just seeing the results and saying that's awesome that they picked a same-sex couple -- but it's even more awesome that they allowed same-sex couples to enter. A lot of people don't.
When the press release came out last night, the most important thing was what Crate & Barrel didn't say. They didn't say "same-sex couple." They didn't say "gay couple." They just said, "The second place winners are Gregory and Jonathan."
That's the message we really want to get out. So that -- and the teenagers who have been messaging us, and the mothers who have been messaging us -- it's made this experience worth more than anything either of us bargained for.
So, when's the wedding?
Our original date was 10/10/2010. We got engaged on the eve of the National Equality March, and we were hoping to get married on the anniversary, but now we're looking at April of 2011.
How about a honeymoon?
We've always wanted to do a group honeymoon! During the wedding you have so many friends and family that you don't get to spend the time with that you'd like. We'd have close friends and family all go someplace together. And we've always wanted to do it in Costa Rica.
Carrie Sloan is the editor-in-chief of Lemondrop. She wishes Jon & Greg a future filled with peace, love and cheese tastings. If you want to sneak a peek at their registry (or spring for the cheese dome) you can do so here.












Comments:
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Sunday 30 May
By ANS
My partner and I had our 30th last month. May these guys have our best wishes and respect.
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Sunday 30 May
By just me
Thank you, this has given me hope for my future wedding. I'm so glad i found this article.
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Sunday 30 May
By dixieracerfan
I think this is just absolutely adorable! Congrats to Greg and Jonathan!
I have a few gay friends, and whenever they talk to me about their future plans/dreams and their relationships i support them. The gay community should have the same rights as all of us straight people, there is no sense in having a gay bash. My best guess is that the reason so many gays get bashed is because the person doing the bashing is probably jealous of what the other person has.
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Sunday 30 May
By 20Yearsplus
Congratulations to Jon and Gregory. I wish you both as much love and happiness we have had in our time together. We are just 3 months from celebrating 20 years together. Unfortunately in FL they do not recognise gay marrage but that doesnt matter to us we are in love and happy and that is all that matters. I am happy for you both that you have the b...s to go through with making your marriage official. To the ones that have a problem with you to and the rest of the gay community, I am sure if we looked in their "closet" we would all be frightened at what we see. Joh and Gregory continue to love each other and that is all that matters the rest of the BS will fall into place where needed. To Crate and Barrel congrats for accepting a gay marrage into your contest, you just got yourselves another customer.
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Sunday 30 May
By ayers
As a middle-aged hetero nurse, I feel obliged to comment that this story never mentioned anything but that this couple was harassed during the contest by some idiot who chose to judge them for something he knows nothing about (perhaps he's worried about his own sexuality?). Most of the negative comments I've read against the couple have included comments that have been salicious and sickening (where do those who hate read this material - must mull over it all day loooong). Those that support the couple have spoken of no sexual imagery; on the contrary, the only X-rated images described have been by those self-righteous bigots who feel qualified to judge as if they are perfection themselves (who is exactly shoving sex down our throats, I ask you?). I pity you when you meet your maker and your past loved ones. You all probably have gay members in your family in the closet due to the hatred in your families who live in fear of being discovered or have moved far away and are no longer in contact with you. Your God does not love judgmental people and will judge those most harshly. Hope you choke on your hatred and bile. Live and let live. Go out and do some good in this world while you can.
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Sunday 30 May
By Moji
WOW-Love all the misspelled words and the CAPS. LMAO
The dummying down of America.
What is even better is how hostile and angry people are.
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Sunday 30 May
By Zacorra
I just think that it's horrible the way that gay people are treated. I have many gay friends and I understand and know why they are gay. If they were born with only 3 fingers or half a leg no one would think anything of it. Lots of people are born with maladies. While in the womb all fetuses start out as female. Then something happens to a certain percentage of babies to trigger hormones to begin flowing and the male organs begin to grow. What should happen then and usually does, is that the female section of the brain is SUPPOSED to shrink down to nearly nothing. I say "nearly" nothing because as we all know, no matter how burley or tough a man tries to act, they all have a bit of a feminine side. (that's the only way they are able to relate to we females at all) But since that doesn't always happen, those that it doesn't happen to end up as females trapped in a man's body or a man trapped in a woman's body if that part of the brain shrinks and the male organs don't grow. It's just a quirk of fate, nothing more than if they had been born with six fingers and/or toes, a cleft pallet, tiny ears or anything else out of the ordinary that can happen to a baby in the womb. Very few people would stoop to the gutter low of making fun of someone wit any of the above and no one would beat them up for it except the biggest bullies ever. To make it plain, the whole thing of gay bashing is way BEYOND stupid because it's something that is not withing their control.
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Sunday 30 May
By Lisa
It started out to be a great, feel good story. I was happy Crate and Barrel would pick a gay couple. Then reading what happened I wasn't so happy anymore. People can behave so terribly, and I don't mean these two. I mean the one with the awful blog, and many of you commenting. I did notice that the winners of the most votes just happen to be featured on the blog, in a different context. So the blog author is biased anyway. Times are changing, slowly but surely. Those of you that hate had better just get used to it. (By the way, I am a straight woman in my 50s.) Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials, Jon and Greg. I am very sorry for the pain people put you through just because you love one another.
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Sunday 30 May
By Lisa
Actually the company began in Illinois. A veritable hot bed of gay activity apparently. Don't forget that you might rely on the ACLU some day. You wouldn't refuse...not when it came right down to it.
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Sunday 30 May
By jane donute'
Refuse the ACLU as I see it?? OH YES I would,,,,,,,, I am not a sell out.
No price for integrity.
Sunday 30 May
By David
I think it's great that these guys won. I think it's pitiful that there are still people both surrounding the incident and here on this site who have such hate and anger in their hearts. You people here who spread hate and anger need a boot up your asses to put some sense into your heads which are right up that same ass.
As for you people who bitch about the 'gay agenda'..get over it. Do you really even know what that supposed agenda is. It's not really an agenda but if you want to call it that, fine. What is wanted is that gays be allowed to live the same as everyone else. What's wrong with wanting that? No one group of people is better then another yet people insist on treating others as lower then themselves. That's just wrong. You want to stop the gay agena? Treat gay people as your equals, which they are, and it will stop. Until then, get used to it. It's going nowhere.
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Sunday 30 May
By jane donute'
NO TALK OF HATE AND ANGER, THAT IS YOUR TWIST.
WE CAN VOICE OUR OPINION ON HERE, AND I CAN LOVE THEM AS HUMAN BEINGS, IN FACT, I CARE WHERE THEIR SOULS ARE HEADED.
LOVE ALSO TELLS THE TRUTH, THE HOLY SCRIPTURES TELLS OF GODS PLAN, NOT MY PLAN, NOT JON'S PLAN, OR ANY OTHER HOMSEXUAL, BUT ALMIGHTY GODS PLAN, FOR A MAN AND WOMAN TO BECOME HUSBAND AND WIFE,,,,,,,,,, NOT HUSBAND AND HUSBAND.
Sunday 30 May
By as written
someone said we have a loving God and we do. but as it is written in the bible Thou shalt not lie with mankind as with womankind: it is abomination. leviticus 19:22
society has change the Lord's laws to meet their needs not His. I walk in His path. just wanted to set the record straight it is abomination in His eyes.
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Sunday 30 May
By MIKE
SOOoooooo WHICH ONE WILL HAVE TO GET IN THE BARREL ?????????? *
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Sunday 30 May
By pennypuppy
who dropped these two morons on their heads when they were two years old
wtf.!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Sunday 30 May
By dine (earth)
I wounder who died and maid them the judge (write or wrong) God will deside if it is a sin or ok. So why dont we leve the BIG STUFF ( WAR, CRIME, INSEST, AND THE REST UP TO GOD TO JUDGE NOT YOU) I never heard that GOD had died, just his son to forgive us of our sins. Think u could figure it out by now world. Ther are enuff bad things goeing on with out fighting amoung each other to figure out something thats GODS JOB NOT OURERS. Get a grip and injoy life as it is,and move on to better thigs.
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Sunday 30 May
By Daniel
I'd first like to say OMG!!........... could you be any more horrible with your spelling ability? Then I'd like to say GET OVER YOURSELF!
Sunday 30 May
By JANE DONUTE'
GOD ALREADY SAID IT, IN HIS HOLY SCRIPTURES .
MAN IS NOT TO LAY WITH MAN, HE IS SINNING, SIMPLE, SIN. NO BIGGER SINS, NO SMALLER SINS , SIN IS SIN,AND HOMOSEXUALS ARE SINNING AND LAYING WITH MEN , OR WOMEN WITH WOMEN. IT IS JUST ANOTHER SEXUAL PERVERSION, SINFUL .
IF WE DID NOT WARN THEM, WE ARE NOT DOING AS GOD COMMANDED.
Sunday 30 May
By Trish
Ok now this really gets me mad. I'm not gay but I do know how hard you have it, I have a female cousin who is gay, we all knew as kids that she was different. This did not matter to us, we all LOVE her and suport her. I mean life is so hard, why the hell are these jerks making it harder on gay people?? My thought on that is that THEY are insecure with their own sexuality, like your going to change them or something...that's not possible people, either you were born that way or you weren't, it's as simple as that. God don't make mistakes and God made gays for his own reason and who are you to deside that God is wrong?? PLEASE stop bashing gays, they are very good friends if you just give them a chance.
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Sunday 30 May
By Pamela
Bigots, haters. I you want to know where to find them....look on AOL message boards.
I wonder..if someone told you that you did not have the same rights as others, what would you say? That because you choose something different you, cannot do what everyone else has a right to.
This is not about God, and the fact that you religious types keep using God as a reason to deny people of their rightsis is sickening.
God loves everyone, black, white, gay. straight. But God is not about hate. He is about love. You love thy neighbor, not just the ones who believe the way you do.
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