Hi, I'm a single young female and walking man repeller. (That's me at left.) In fact, my dude-repelling forces are so persuasive, I started a blog about it
. There, we dish about many things, but mostly trends which girls find hot -- and men decidedly don't.
Two such items appear on our spring wish list: They both happen to be pants. One pair is best described as "Long John trousers," the other as "Tribal Warrior harem pants." We're going to assume you can use your imagination to conjure up what said pants look like. So then, consider this: The mere titles of these pieces are proof that women dress to impress other women. It's a fact of life.
In the last several years though, with the high concentration of menswear-inspired looks trickling down from high fashion runways to the streets we walk, it's come to our attention that many of the choices we make are not only man-unattractive, they're man-repelling. (for a full definition of the phrase, see this article
So, if lady turn-on = harem pants and harem pants = man repeller, then by the transitive property of fashion, lady turn-on = man repeller. There's an elegant proof for this somewhere. And yep, we're going home alone tonight.
In meantime, we bring you a look at the nine most man-repelling fashion and beauty trends: The ones you're wearing, we're loving, and he's cursing. Trust us.
The first item on our list is so roomy, it could shelter an army
. But let's be honest -- emulating MC Hammer and Aladdin in one look is an immediate fail. As a resident man repeller, I've conducted several social experiments wearing said pants that have thus far only left us home alone with a closet full of drop crotch
. But hey, at least our lady friends swooned.
We can blame Balmain (a designer label, for the uninitiated) for this one. To quote my co-editor, "I want to safety-pin shoulder pads into all my white T-shirts." To my quote myself, "I wish the shoulder pads in this shirt were more aggressive." Because who doesn't want to look like a linebacker on a night out on the town? Men love football. On the bright side, at least we aren't taking the '80s cue too literally and complementing huge shoulders with huge hair
Bright red lips
are a bright red stop sign. An un-kissable, awkward man-repellent. I, like you, happen to love them (see left), but just think about the red lipstick/champagne flute combo. There's no way to be classy -- or sexy -- in that situation. Regardless, I raise my lipstick-stained glass to you, fellow man repellers. Cheers.
This includes full-length jumpsuits, onesies, unitards and overalls. We wore onesies when we were babies. They were cute, and our moms loved them, but we're older now; channeling our infant years is creepy. Full-length jumpsuits
leave a little too much to the imagination -- and make your butt look fat regardless of whether it is. And as for overalls and unitards, well, they're best left on their respective farms and local Spider-Women.
"Borrowed from the boys" is a popular tag line used in magazine fashion shoots to describe boyfriend fit clothing. While that's all well and true, consider this: If your boyfriend wanted to date men, chances are he would be. Put on a skirt.
Faux Leopard Fur
While this was a personal favorite fall trend, I will admit that the stuffed-animal-inspired coat
functioned primarily as a precaution: "Do Not Enter, Crazy Chick Inside." What's wrong with looking like a product of Toys 'R' Us, you say? Nothing, if you never want to have sex again
Clogs are controversial. Even the worst fashion victims (me) are reluctant to succumb to this trend. There's something uncomfortable about channeling the Netherlands solely (heh) through footwear. Even aside from clogs, though, abnormally chunky wedges and the shoes adorned by feathers, fur and crystals that we lust after are reminiscent of a walking circus. Literally.
This is a tough trend to nail. The incorporation of, say, a chin strap
will dub you a weird equestrian wannabe, at best; a turban
may dub you an African princess warrior; and attached metal links forming a headband
will undoubtedly dub you an alien-abducted fashion victim. Think before you cap.
We get it -- a floral blazer and striped dress make you look so fine, in a channeling the Anthropologie catalog kind of way. We don't disagree, but to the opposite sex, this sartorial victory reads more like a pattern explosion
across your body. Men just won't get it. Though we do.
Also, even though we just rattled off that list, we want you to know that we're not about to quit man repelling and don't advocate that you do either. But don't say we didn't warn you.
Want to read more about man-repelling fashion? Check us out at The Man Repeller and follow us on Twitter!