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It turns out when your mom isn't harassing you to give her some grandbabies or at least call once in a while, her voice can actually help your body increase production of stress-relieving hormones.According to a new study of little girls between the ages of 7 and 12, your mom's voice has the power to soothe. The girls had to give a speech and solve math problems in front of a panel of judges (to ensure that they were thoroughly freaked out), then were sent into one of three rooms, where different things were waiting to comfort them.
To the researchers' surprise, girls who were comforted by their mother's voices over the phone had the same increase in oxytocin, a stress-relieving hormone, as those who were physically greeted by their actual mothers. Not surprisingly, both mom-methods of comfort were more effective than the third comfort, watching "March of the Penguins."
Of course, young girls were chosen because they still like their moms, but more research will be done to see how a mother's voice can affect grown-ups, whose relationships with their parents tend to be more complicated.
In the meantime, thanks, Mom! You're the best (and also my new therapist)!
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Monday 17 May
By Bette Dewing
Ah, and that is forever, mind you, and surely sons and daughters' voices help the health of their mothers andf athers too whic is also forever but our society rules most mightily against it. And too many longtime mothers like me don't have Internet to say Amen! Althought they have been so conditoned to thing "they have theirlives" so not to expect hearing their voices very often. So wrong wrong wrong.
MOST MOTHERS CARE MORE ABOUT YOU THAN ANYONE EVER WILL.
and they deserve whatever care they need in elderhood. and then some.
Is Betty White a mother? Most 88 year olds not vigorus like she is nor do they indulge in so called salty talk. Most octengenatins are against it!
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Monday 17 May
By Melissa
Everytime I used to hear my mothers voice you would think I need Xanax.
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Monday 17 May
By Lillie
When my son was born, I didn't have to even speak. He could smell me. The moment I would walk into the room, he would become quiet. Everyone said he could smell me coming in. I've never worn perfume, and I don't walk hard. I've always been a very quiet person, so, I don't make a lot of noise. Even in the hospital nursery. When I would walk in, the nurses would know because he would stop fussing. They'd turn around and there I'd be. Since I've always been a stay-at-home mom, on the rare occasion I did have to leave him with someone, I simply left a shirt I'd been wearing with them. If he fussed, they'd let him have the shirt. My smell would calm him right down.
The odd thing about this? He's adopted. We adopted him at birth. I was in the delivery room with him. But, the doctor handed him directly to me upon delivery, so, I was the first to nuzzle him upon entering this world. He knows my scent and associates it with intense love and devotion.
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Monday 17 May
By KK
Melissa took the words out of my mouth! Just what I thought when I saw the title! LOL
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Monday 17 May
By KK
I do soothe my little girl though...being a happy mom with a husband makes such a difference.
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Monday 17 May
By Carze
Yes, I wish I could hear my Mother's voice again . When I am stressed I do not have her comforting voice to soothe me. I hope I am somewhat of a stress reliever for my adult children. My daughter does call me when life gets extremely difficult to manage. Parents should try to understand and relieve , not add, to the stress our children are feeling. They are ALWAYS our children even though we can't fix things for them we can help by listening and offering advice if they ask for it.
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Monday 17 May
By CmdrKat
For Carze--I'm so sorry to read that you lost your Mom. I'm sure there are times when you would give anything to hear her voice and listen to her "sage advice". I lost my Mom when I was only 6, so I never really even got to know her. My stepmother was no prize and to this day I have trouble in friendships with other women. I keep wishing my Mom were around to help me with that. But, you sound like you do your very best to listen to your kids and offer any advice they may ask for or just listen while they vent-which sometimes has us fighting back tears until we get off the phone. Bless you for giving it your all. Your children are very lucky to have you!
Monday 17 May
By me
I could always smell my mom coming to the daycare to pick me up. I knew it as soon as she'd hit the lobby. :)
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Monday 17 May
By nancy horgan
so Lillie--seems like there was little need for the womb-for-rent except that it that birthed your son, hhmm? "YOUR" baby can 'smell' (and attach?) to anyone (or anything) that pulled him away from his breeder? Hope for your sake that you can keep that image alive for his entire life ! What on earth are you going to say to him when he wants to find his real mother whom you have effectivly obliterated with your head-in-the-sand she-does-not-exsist : "but what about ME??!! I was the first to nuzzle you!" line. ? Hey Lillie---did you try to have your 'own' child before you "took another woman's child as your own" ( it's the defination of adoption, Lillie) . She sure had NO impact on that little guy?? Ever hear of Mother Nature, Lil? She is not easily fooled . Both Mother and baby will forever suffer from the un-natural seperation caused by adoption--no matter the circumstances. He will always miss HER voice--the one he heard before he could smell his adopter. Good luck, hon.
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Monday 17 May
By Cindy
Nancy, that is a nasty and awful remark to make to someone. You don't know this woman or her story, or the story of the woman who gave birth to the boy. I hope you get some much needed help for the, apparent,unresolved anger.
Monday 17 May
By Tracy
Nancy...did you read the whole comment? He's adopted. We adopted him at birth. So that makes him her child. His birth Mom gave him up for her own reasons, which I am sure where good ones. Who are you to down play adoption! Breeder?! these are children NOT dogs! And it's true, I was the first to hold my sister's child and he and I have always had a closer bound then with the other ones. I'm going to pray for you girlfriend because your outlook on this is WAY out there..Mother Nature...lol, I hope you have no children, I would hate to think you pass this crap onto them..and GOD BLESS YOU LILLIE! I'm sure you are a great MOM! and NANCY, get a life!
Monday 17 May
By Linda
Nancy, you sound as if you have had a child TAKEN from you by your state.
A lot of unresolved anger issues spew from your rantings. You do not know the reason the child was GIVEN up for adoption, and you do not know the reasons his MOTHER adopted him. I thank God for women like Lillie, for without her, what would her son's life be like? Take a step back, then a couple more, turn around and go for a nice LONG walk away from your computer.
Monday 17 May
By Mary sullivan
Nancy, calm down....I adopted my daughter, although not at birth, as for the bith mother...try not taking care of her at all, just walking out of the house and leaving her all alone...She may have given her life, but i gave her a LIFE, and does she recognize my voice from a mile away, yes, I am her mother since she was 5 months old! Love your children! And know that mom's voice is what they need to get thru the day!
Monday 17 May
By MTmom
Funny how true this is in our family. My 24-year old daughter calls when she is enormously stressed and we talk it through. She just needs to hear that someone loves her and trusts her to make the right choices. And the other day my 79-year old mother called and I poured out all the stressors in my life. She listened, asked how she could help and told me she loved me and that she knew I would get through it. And I felt enormously better.
I'm very lucky.
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Monday 17 May
By nancy horgan
"My very favorite gift ever -after our son, of course!" re: Lillie
newsflash to Lillie : People are NOT gifts. Teapots are gifts.
We outlawed giving people as gifts back in 1865. Perhaps those adoptors who give their child some breathiing room, some dignity and some private time to spend with his Mother after birth would be more appreciative of him as a human....and not refer to him as a gift. No woman simply 'gives' her child away and never looks back. Your well behaved child might not be so thrilled to hear your story line about he was just gifted away by his entire family of origin. Adoption is based on LOSS Lillie. Get real,
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Monday 17 May
By nancy horgan
Sorry to offend with the truth. I know exactly what I am talking about. How dare this baby be taken at the moment of birth without so much as some time with his Mother---no matter the circumstances. There isn't any credible evidence anywhere that supports this kind of seperation of Mother and child. This child deserved better than to have to smell (Lillies word) his adoptor the second he was pulled from his OWN MOTHER..
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Monday 17 May
By Mindi
You are so right, as an adult victim of adoption, I spent my whole life lost, never anyone who looked, acted or was like me.
Found my birth mother when I was 35, yeah, sometimes its a bit difficult, because she's closer to the 6 children she kept that were born later, but its truly a wonderful thing to see people who are like you and act like you after a lifetime of being "alien."
Adoption is a hard thing for a child, as it pulls them away from the life they were born for, and takes away all devine intent.
But, for those with money who can afford to purchase children, its no big deal.
Monday 17 May
By Michelle
I think they will find that mother's hands are healing, too. I know my mother's are.
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Monday 17 May
By CmdrKat
This HAS to be the same for adult women under stress. My paramedic daughter will call me when "the job" gets rough-like several calls involving death or near-deaths or horrific scenes that would cause most people to vomit or run off screaming. She has seen the most cruel things than humans can do to each other and manages to hold it together, but calls me to "get it out of her system", or "share it" (thank you OH-SO!). Boyfriend issues are always tough because I want to go pound the guy some times, but she just needs advice occasionally. I guess having a mom who was not only a police commander and hostage negotiator and who now works in church ministry doesn't hurt, but she is almost always laughing and happy when we get off the phone. I would be heartsick if she kept this inside and didn't call me to tell me about it, and I'm always honored when she tells me she feels better after talking to me and tells me she loves me. Keep those experiments going!
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Monday 17 May
By Linda
Nancy and Mindi,
Wow, how sorry I am for you and your obvious torturous lives. All situations are different. No one on here knows the story of Lillie's son, why he was GIVEN up for adoption, why she chose to adopt, and that is as it should be. I have known many adoptee's and none of them are resentful or hateful toward their adoptive parents/families. They were/are LOVED individuals. Some have chosen to find their BIRTH parents and some have not, that is THEIR choice.
I suggest you both find counselor's to relieve you of the anger and frustration you harbor within yourselves, you may find that you can be a happy person by letting it all go.
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