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Somehow, impossibly, it is already May. This means it's practically Memorial Day, and before you know it, the Fourth of July will have come and gone, and oh my God, we'd better go shopping for bathing suits NOW or else all the cute ones will be gone and we'll be stuck wearing one with a baggy butt and broken underwire.

Fortunately -- mostly for them, but a little bit for us -- celebrities parade around foreign beaches all year long, in swimsuits that give us something to aspire to when it's our turn. Gleaned from the flubs and fabulosity of the rich and famous, here are some tips for getting all set for a sweet summer swimsuit season.

DO: Use moderation. Ruffles on a swimsuit can be adorable when deployed correctly, and disastrous should you go overboard. For example, Whitney Port's aggressively frilly bikini (seen here) and awkwardly colored bottom creates the optical illusion that her waxer's gone on strike. Ladies, we truly don't care what you do with your pubic hair, but please don't make us entertain that question in the first place.

A better ruffled option comes courtesy of "90210"'s AnnaLynne McCord, left. She's tiny, so she could easily be overwhelmed by too many frills. Luckily, by concentrating the ruffles in the right places, this hot pink bikini subtly enhances her curves without simultaneously looking too twee. Well played.

DON'T: Tempt fate. Look, Rihanna had a rough start to 2009, so when 2010 dawned we were happy to see her enjoying a little watery R&R with her boyfriend; however, we're a little concerned that her bathing suit creates more problems than it solves: All those strings look like an advertisement for anti-chafing salve, it chops her into several tiny pieces, and even a whiff of laziness when it comes to applying sunscreen could lead to the world's most awkward tan line.

If you crave a one-piece with the feel of a bikini but not the exposed belly-button, go simpler with the cutouts. Sure, Audrina's more modest black suit (shown at left) still runs the risk of giving her burn lines that turn her tummy into a Twister board, but it also looks way more comfortable than Rihanna's, without sacrificing sex appeal.

DO: check out your rear view. Is that a wedgie, or a thong? Considering that the owner of the butt pictured is Tara Reid, one can never be too sure. Regardless, if you're brave enough to let your bum hang out on the beach, make sure everyone knows you're baring it on purpose or steel yourself for whispers. In other words: Get a bottom that fits.
DON'T: pretend it's an actual outfit: Let's get real. You're wearing your swimsuit to tan, swim, or see and be seen. But no matter how you wear it, don't forget: IT'S STILL A BATHING SUIT. Cowboy boots look as out of place at the pool as fluffy slippers on the treadmill, so get a grip on your accessories. You shouldn't be that polished on your day off, so stop worrying if your shoes match your tan and order a mai tai.
DO: not do this. Ever. Seriously, Barbie is looking at this photo right now and going, "That's about as anatomically correct as Ken." Please do not believe that the best way to wear a bikini is to have a doctor connect a hoover to your thighs and then blow up your boobs like a beach ball. We like you just as you are. But if you must surgically implant volleyballs into your body, at least make sure you can find a bikini top that covers them; poor Heidi's stops short somewhere nearish the bottom of her planetary sandbags and just sits there in shock. Kind of like we do every time we see these photos. They almost make us wish summer was over already, and who wants that? It is only April.