If we could ban one person from drinking anywhere in the country the way they can in the U.K., we would nominate Melanie Shaker. After falling through the plate glass window of a hair salon -- while attempting to kick her husband -- she's now suing the salon to the tune of $50,000.

It all began after a night of dinner and (presumably heavy) drinking with her spouse. He and Melanie began arguing, and she attempted to boot him one -- only to crash through the window of Fases Salon.

But make no mistake -- none of this is her fault. The busy thoroughfare, Shaker writes in the suit she filed, is "frequently traveled by intoxicated pedestrians." If the salon would just install safety glass, it would "prevent injuries [to] those coming into contact with it."

The defendant's failure to do so, she argues, violates Chicago's building codes.

And the plucky plaintiff didn't stop there: She also claims that while being treated for "severe injuries" resulting from her fall, including cuts on her arms and feet, a hospital employee stole $6,000 worth of jewelry she was wearing and
SOMEBODY at the hospital downloaded pay games on her Blackberry. Of course. That makes sense.

You have to admit, the lady's got spunk. Too bad most judges hate spunk.