Standing by the side of an unfaithful husband may get you some shaking heads of disapproval, but it still happens all the time.
So when Silda Wall held herself responsible for her husband Eliot Spitzer's extramarital affair with a hooker, we got kind of riled up. Sure, it takes two for a marriage to work -- but Wall shouldered all the blame for Spitzer's behavior, saying that she hadn't been "adequate in taking care of the sex." Which we presume to mean "keeping him happy in bed."
So we asked you:
Does lackluster (or a lack of) sex give a guy the right to stray?
says, "The way husbands feel about wives who refuse to give their husbands a sex life is the same way wives feel about husbands who refuse to give their wives monogamy. It's the feeling of being on the receiving side of some pretty deceptive and fraudulent behavior.
"You want to know why? One reason is because for men the importance of a sex life in marriage is the same as how women view the importance of monogamy in marriage, and similarly, for men the importance of monogamy in marriage is the same as how women view the importance of a sex life in marriage. If you are unwilling to give your spouse what they consider most important, then you don't deserve to get what you consider most important, and it works both ways."
On the other hand, Stella
says Spitzer had no excuse: "[Wall] is lame and a doormat ... If he wasn't happy with the sex, he should have sought a separation or divorce before he sought out a prostitute and exposed his wife to STDs."
agrees, offering little sympathy for Wall: "I don't know what's worse, taking all the anger out on the other person or only on yourself ... You're going to blame yourself that your husband couldn't keep it in his pants because you didn't perform adequately enough? Well I'd have to say both their brains aren't performing adequately enough ... they deserve each other. Maybe she'll feel really bad and invite the call girl over for tea. Pssh."
But having been in a relationship with a woman who immediately lost interest in sex after the two of them got hitched, Scammedbyawoman
suggests that it's just as deceitful for a woman to resign from bedroom activities. But he says he chooses not to get a divorce because: "Divorce courts tend to give the house and the kids to the wife, while the husband than has to go find somewhere else to live, and he only gets to see his kids every other weekend. That's not fair, but that's typical. Women need to understand that divorce is BIASED in favor of the woman. The man usually loses his house and access to his kids if he divorces."
He points out, "The wedding vows promise 'TO HAVE and to hold, and TO HAVE no others.' Well, what exactly does 'TO HAVE' mean in the phrase 'TO HAVE no others'? Whatever you think it means? It has the same meaning in the first part of the vow 'TO HAVE and to hold.'
Agree or disagree with his comments? Let us know!