Arianna Huffington: Help Me Nominate Five Glamour Women of the Year
Justin Huang: You Don't Need To Be In A Relationship To Live Your…
When it comes to infidelity, usually there's one thing everybody can agree on: It's the Other Woman's fault. But the case of Eliot Spitzer, the former governor of New York busted for stepping out on his wife of 33 years with prostitute Ashley Dupre, is turning out to be one bizarre love triangle.
After his sordid affair was revealed, Spitzer, now better known as "Client 9," decided to lay low, apparently biding his time before a triumphant return to politics. Dupre milked her infamy and was born again as a sex-advice columnist.
Meanwhile, Silda Wall -- Spitzer's long-suffering wife -- got busy standing by her man. Now, according to a new book, "Rough Justice: The Rise and Fall of Eliot Spitzer," she's apparently blaming herself.
"The wife is supposed to take care of the sex. This is my failing; I wasn't adequate," Wall reportedly told author Peter Elkind.
Ex-squeeze us!? Last we heard, having sex is definitely one tenet of a healthy marriage, but if you're not knocking boots, you're pretty much both to blame. Besides, it's hardly an excuse for your husband to have unprotected sex with a hooker, then lie to you. Or, say, your three daughters.
But maybe we missed the memo being distributed at sex rehab.
What do you think: Does lackluster (or a lack of) sex give a guy the right to stray? Or are there other ways to resuscitate your love life? And what kind of woman doesn't at least give her husband half the credit for his bad behavior?
More from Lemondrop.com:
I'm the Daughter of a Serial Killer
I Spent a Year in a Woman's Prison
Stuff guys want in their fantasies, not in their beds 
Seniors aren't any less randy in their "Sunset Daze"
Comments:
Add a comment
Wednesday 28 April
By stella
you must be joking - she is lame and a doormat - there is no excuse - if he wasn't happy with the sex he should have sought a separation or divorce before he sought out a prostitute and exposed his wife to stds
Reply
Wednesday 28 April
By TheVanityAffaire
I dont know what's worse, taking all the anger out on the "other person" or only on yourself. It takes two people in a marriage and it takes two people in an affair. If he was unhappy, he should have gotten a divorce. You're going to blame yourself that your husband couldn't keep it in his pants because you didn't perform adequately enough? Well I'd have to say both their brains aren't performing adequately enough, they deserve each other. Maybe she'll feel really bad and invite the call girl over for tea. Pssh.
Reply
Wednesday 28 April
By Barb
She has been brainwashed. He probably told her that it was her fault. A sign of mental abuse.
Reply
Tuesday 25 May
By Shawn
Maybe she is not brainwashed, but honest enough to see she screwed up in the bedroom.
I'm not saying he was right, but maybe she knows many more details that we may never know.
Wednesday 28 April
By scammedbyawoman
She sounds like a SCAMMER to me, just like my wife. I dated my wife for over two years before we got married. During that time she had no qualms about having sex anytime day or night. She was VERY accommodating to my level of interest in sex. After the wedding, the sex immediately took a downturn. After a year it was non-existent. And it wasn't just the sex that ended. When we were dating she also was very interested in all my athletic activities such as hiking, biking, swimming, volleyball, tennis. She quit most of these "cold-turkey" the day we got married. I ended up being a HUSBAND WITHOUT BENEFITS, and the only I did wrong to place me in such a situation in life was to get married to a deceptive and selfish woman who was successfully able to pretend she shared all my same interests, including sex, for the entire time we were dating. Her change in marital status changed her behavior and attitude into those of a totally different person that I never would have wanted to marry.
Before women get all huffy and think that maybe I don't do anything around the house, or neglect our kids, let me set the record straight. I maybe don't clean house as well as my wife does but at least I make the effort. And regarding our kids, I am the more active parent in their lives. My wifes addiction to TV, facebook, and Farmville have basically acted like a third person in our relationship.
You may be asking why don't I get a divorce. Well she hasn't done anything illegal and in that case divorce courts tend to give the house and the kids to the wife, while the husband than has to go find somewhere else to live, and he only gets to see his kids every other weekend. That's not fair, but that's typical.
Women need to understand that divorce is BIASED in favor of the woman. The man usually loses his house and access to his kids if he divorces.
So every woman who asks why her man didn't get a divorce before seeking what was missing in his marriage needs to realize that maybe he didn't want to lose his house and access to his kids!
Reply
Wednesday 28 April
By s
You both need therapy. Reading this post makes me mourn for humanity.
Wednesday 28 April
By s
You both need therapy. This post makes me mourn for humanity
Saturday 01 May
By catman
BRILLIANT!- you hit the nail on the head- every word the truth- thanx
Sunday 02 May
By steven
i totally agree, Sometimes it is so much easier to go to an escort than try to convince your wife over and over again that the sex is not working..No body has the right to pass judgement. STD's.?? Let me tell you these women are much more cleaner than anyone you will ever meet at a bar or church for that matter. This is their occupation. They make sure that they take all the precautions necessary to be safe. Look in the final analysis i am not saying this is the right thing to do .But the most logical when you are faced with a good but sexless marriage. everyone wants the perfect marriage. but the reality is no one is perfect.
Tuesday 18 May
By 3sidestoeverystory
Divorced female - Ex got the money, I got the child (most valueable) I think you made a good point. Not everything is cut and dry like most women in this situation like to think. It isn't always just that easy. Everyone has their reasons for staying and for leaving and we owe no one and explanation nor could we possibly explain to anyone's satisfaction why we do what we do. It takes two to make a marriage work. The other woman doesn't have the power to "take" your husband from you. Why in the world would give that woman that much credit? Besides she wasn't the one making the vow to you. If you are the kind of spouse your spouse needs you to be (two way street) then neither one of you is going to go looking. If your marriage has already been compromised then start being the spouse your spouse needs, create a new history for your marriage and I guarantee that the "other woman" or "other man" will never hear from your spouse again. And "girlfriends" don't assume you know what makes your husband happy...ask him. And when he asks you the same question be direct, don't play games. "If he really loves me he'd know what I meant, " is game playing and is the mentality of a 13 year old. Gentlemen, when she tells you what she wants...follow through and stop playing dumb and doing things half *ssed. If she wants you to clear the table, she means everyone's plate not just your own. Stop with the lip service. Washing the floor once doesn't give you the claim that you are the one who washes the floor. If you want to hang on to your spouse make sure that when they walk into a room they are the most importent person who ever walked into that room.
Sunday 23 May
By Freckles1944
Maybe if more men spoke out we could get a fairer picture of infidelity. Just be honest and watch out who you "sleep" with--Aids, STD's not funny.
Thursday 29 April
By scammedbyawoman
Something that women need to understand about men is this. The way men feel about women who will marry a man but then refuse to have sex with him, is the same way women feel about men who will have a long term sexual relationship with a woman but refuse to marry her. Some people are simply self-centered users of other people, and it works both ways.
Something else that women need to understand about men is this. The way husbands feel about wives who refuse to give their husbands a sex-life, is the same way wives feel about husbands who refuse to give their wives monogamy. It's the feeling of being on the receiving side of some pretty deceptive and fraudulent behavior.
You want to know why?
One reason is because for men the importance of a sex-life in marriage is the same as how women view the importance of monogamy in marriage, and similarly, for men the importance of monogamy in marriage is the same as how women view the importance of a sex-life in marriage. If you are unwilling to give your spouse what they consider most important, then you don't deserve to get what you consider most important, and it works both ways.
A second reason is because while most people consider an adulterous marriage to be a loveless marriage, most men also consider a sexless marriage to be a loveless marriage.
And a third reason is because the wedding vows promise "TO HAVE and to hold, and TO HAVE no others". Well, what exactly does "TO HAVE" mean in the phrase "TO HAVE no others"? Whatever you think it means, it has the same meaning in the first part of the vow "TO HAVE and to hold".
Reply
Wednesday 19 May
By Rose
I am extremely exhausted with people saying "we must understand men". They even have a couple of "quacks" saying they have "sex addictions". They don't say this about women, just men. Where is the woman's understanding? She has desires too, that she overcomes to stay faithful. She is cooking, cleaning, working and raising children. Many men leave most of the responsibility on her, when he is suppose to help her, not make her life more difficult. She also takes care of herself. A man doesn't need a reason to cheat, they just make up excuses when they get caught. They wouldn't want their woman to do the same. The woman'sbody goes through more changes than the man, but he has the most excuses. When men cheat, they are saying that "I am weak, without self-control." Women have enough to do and worry about, without worrying about her trusted boyfriend or husband cheating on her. One time would be one time too many and I would never take him back , nor ever answer his call or talk to him again, because evidently what I had wasn't good enough and we could never be friends after a betrayal. I need people I can trust in my life. I know the minute he would attempt to blame me I would get extremely angry, so why take myself through that? I don't need a constant reminder that this is the "bum" that cheated on me and broke my heart. There would be no friendship, because friends wouldn't hurt you, especially in this way!! Someone might get hurt another way. Remember Lorraina Bobbitt? Men shouldn't play with women's feelings, nor should she play with his. Women love deeper than men and are more sensitive. They love from their hearts and don't deserve to be played with, nor do men, but it's usually men doing the "playing." A "Real Man" or "Woman" thinks about what's at stake. We all have temptations, but the people in our lives are not worth losing, especially this easily. A man cheated on me and I never took him back, because I know that I was a great woman. He even would tell me and other people when he didn't know I was listening. I was easy to talk to and loved to laugh. I was exciting and enjoyed or tried everything he wanted me to. They say women are "fickled" and "full of drama", but they need to look at themselves. We are not their "Mothers", and I for one, will not compete with their mother. They are 2 different types of love. Men say "women don't know what they want", when actually it's them that have no idea.. Men ask "where do you work", before they ask you your name, like they expect a woman to pay their bills too....!!! They can forget it!!! A man that needs a woman's money don't need to be in a relationship, because he can't afford her. A woman contributes far more than "most" men. And men bring much more drama or causes it, in a relationship!! Sorry, you were scammed, but women are giving as good as they have gotten for decades of mistreatment by men; taken for granted and taken advantage of, by them...... Men and women are getting worst. I just can't mistreat people, regardless of how I have been treated. I know all men are not the same, nor are women. Good Luck!!!
Thursday 29 April
By scammedbyawoman
Something that women need to understand about men is this. The way men feel about women who will marry a man but then refuse to have sex with him, is the same way women feel about men who will have sex with a woman but then refuse to marry her. Some people are simply self-centered users of other people, and it works both ways.
Something else women need to understand about men. The way husbands feel about wives who refuse to give their husbands a sex-life, is the same way wives feel about husbands who refuse to give their wives monogamy. It's the feeling of being on the receiving side of some pretty deceptive and fraudulent behavior.
You want to know why?
One reason is because for men the importance of a sex-life in marriage is the same as how women view the importance of monogamy in marriage, and similarly, for men the importance of monogamy in marriage is the same as how women view the importance of a sex-life in marriage. If you are unwilling to give your spouse what they consider most important, then you don't deserve to get what you consider most important, and it works both ways.
A second reason is because while most people consider an adulterous marriage to be a loveless marriage, most men also consider a sexless marriage to be a loveless marriage.
And a third reason is because the wedding vows promise "TO HAVE and to hold, and TO HAVE no others". Well, what exactly does "TO HAVE" mean in the phrase "TO HAVE no others"? Whatever you think it means, it has the same meaning in the first part of the vow "TO HAVE and to hold".
Reply
Tuesday 18 May
By Johhny rockets 53
Scammedbyawoman, I wish all the women on this post would just pipe down and listen to what you wrote. This is directly to the point. They seem to be so influence by what the media tells us through People Magazine or Us Weekly. Your post is the direct, ugly truth. Listen to it ladies!!!!!!
Wednesday 19 May
By zx2x9
The woman's job is to provide SEX and lots of it! Just like he likes it and if she does not want to she should find a substitute. This is a 5000 year old custom the wife gets to choose the concubines and every bodies happy, She does not have to have sex he has plenty.
Saturday 01 May
By Kat
I dont want to get married because the man might stop wanting to have sex with me. And I'm stuck with him. It works both ways, boys. Men have conquered the pursuit of the chase. They don't have to work to get you and get your attention because they have you now. I dont think men cheat soley because they are unsatisfied with their sex life at home. Otherwise ALOT more men would be cheating. It takes a little more than that. From some of the men I've known (not all dated), they all say men cheat because of their EGO. Especially the men who are getting it from their woman, they're still insecure with themselves and have a fragile ego that it takes getting attention from multiple women to try to feel adequate. Don't marry a man with a fragile ego.
Reply
Wednesday 19 May
By zx2x9
Wrong Kat the hardwired reason is survival of the species. That is also why women seem to be all about the money. Most men do not have the financial resources to afford a "girlfriend experience". But as several posters have related both sexes have bad behavior. I too was like "scammmed by a woman" but I got rid of her pronto! I did not stick around "hoping". When a woman(or man) has no interest in sex or the other together activities right after the paper is dry get an annulment!! I have a woman friend who did just that too! People are waking up out of the "romance" or hope it will get better. The bas part is when you have kid the usually she gets everything and the noncustodial parent get outrageous child support payments!!
Saturday 01 May
By sslm123
You have got to be kidding me! This is one of the most pathetic things I've ever read in all my life. Your husband bangs a girl your daughters age and it's your fault? Wake up sweetie it's his fault he can't keep it in his pants not yours. You should get some self esteem and kick his sorry rear end out. You have these young daughters to think about. What kind of example does that set for them? Your supposed to be a mans doormat? No decent man would have let you stand up there by his side while he confessed such a thing.
Reply
Wednesday 19 May
By zx2x9
Not. Who wants an old sow? Not productive at all/ Men want a lover. not someone who thinks sex is something to do once a month. Marriage fraud starts when the duties of being a spouse are denied. When there is no sex there is no marriage it has ended but for many reason many people would rather not go through the mess and expense of a divorce. It is better in that case to have a lover.