Former Poison front man Bret Michaels is in the intensive care unit after suffering a brain hemorrhage. (via TMZ)

Are you bad at EVERYTHING? Don't worry, these infomercial clips prove you're far from alone. (via Gawker.TV)

Britney Spears' father, concerned for the well-being of spectators, is getting a handle on his daughter's weird nipple problem. (via The Superficial)

"Dexter" star Michael C. Hall has fully recovered from cancer and can now go back to killing people for fun and profit. (via PopEater)
Lindsay Lohan continues her spree of good choices, this time allegedly stealing a $35,000 Rolex. (via WWTDD)
Motormouth: Joni Mitchell
"Bob is not authentic at all. He's a plagiarist, and his name and voice are fake. Everything about Bob is a deception. We are like night and day, he and I." - The folk singer's unminced words on her feelings for Bob Dylan in the L.A. Times. (via Jezebel)
(Images: Getty, WireImage)