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what do you do if your date is rude to the waiter? When does a potentially enchanted evening make a sharp left into ... why didn't I just stay home with a Netflick territory?

Probably around the time your date goes from behaving like nice guy Will Smith toward the waitstaff and morphs into Charlie Sheen on a bender, leaving a heap of hapless service professionals in his wake.

Picture it: You sit down to dinner, make requisite small talk, have a few laughs, and turn your attention to the menu, wondering if it would be a bad idea to order wings (yes.) Your date has commented about his need for a beer after a hard day at work and so far, your waitress hasn't reappeared to take your drink orders. To your horror, he begins snapping his fingers.

"Can you believe this girl?" he snaps.

Uh-oh, you silently groan.



Even if your date is rude, there's no need for you to feed the beast and follow suit. Instead, you need to know how to comport yourself with class when confronted with a brute who is abusive to waitstaff, bartenders, valets or whatever other poor, unfortunate "help" may fall in his crosshairs on this particular evening.

So how can you carry yourself with a sense of dignity even after he's checked his own at the door?

First of all, try to assess where he might be coming from: Is he generally a decent guy who's just having a bad day? If so, then maybe cut him some slack. If it's a first date, "Broach the subject lightheartedly," advises Alanna Kalb, author of Stuff Every Woman Should Know, "Bizarre as it sounds, maybe he's trying to impress you by being demanding," she explains. "Flash a sweet smile and say, 'You know, I used to wait tables ...lighten up on the poor girl, would you?'" If he apologizes and immediately straightens up, you can likely salvage the evening.

If, on the other hand, the date culminates in him hurling a dinner roll or half-empty can of Red Bull at a hapless valet who's not producing those keys quite fast enough, well, you won't be needing to order those wedding invites.


"If he keeps it up, he's either a bully or a snob. Neither of those qualities bode well for a relationship, so let him pick up the check and call it a night," Kalb says. If you've met in a restaurant or bar that you frequent, a quick apology to the waiter or bartender on your way to the rest room would likely be appreciated -- along with a dramatic two thumbs-down.

Beyond that, how your date behaves is his problem -- and won't be yours much longer.


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