I love my husband. In fact, I often say that the spouse department is the only area of my life where I really lucked out. Mine buys me dresses I've been lusting after, as well as jewelry, on a regular basis (and not just for holidays); he's kind to my friends, no matter how annoying; and he seeks out new restaurants for every anniversary: We're going on 15 years together now, all told, so that's a lot of reconnaissance. Believe me when I say, he's pretty much perfect.
But then I read some news that reminded me of his one eensy-weensy flaw: Last week, Tom Colicchio, of "Top Chef" fame, was nominated for a 2010 James Beard outstanding chef award. You see, I have a thing for bald men and, man, can that bald man cook.
While my husband may be bald and equally adorable, the thing is, he's just not much of a chef.
The thing is, I don't blame my husband for his lack of culinary prowess -- I blame his mother! Growing up, he and his brother weren't allowed to set foot in the kitchen (or the laundry room, for that matter). Even on a recent visit home, he was banned from boiling water to make pasta for me. I should add that he's well into his 30s.
And I'm not the only woman wishing the situation were different: In a recent survey, nearly 65 percent of women admitted to finding it sexy when a partner cooked for them, as compared to the 33 percent who found it alluring when the same guy picked up the tab.
In fact, the more I dug into the "lacking in the kitchen" topic, the more I discovered that my lament is rather universal. In an era when women actually outnumber men in the workforce, there's a whole generation of guys who still don't know their way around an oven. But, suddenly, it seems, that's starting to change.
Tupperware is now trying to woo more dudes, said the New York Times last week. For them, of course, it's about market share. But for wives everywhere, it's a start -- even if it means our men will become intimate with nothing more than the microwave.
Then GQ launched a three-part series called GQ Cooks, teaching their strapping male readers tips on everything from how to "Make Vegetables Taste Good" to "The Only Five Cookbooks You'll Ever Need," three of which are by chicks, by the way.
Even Nintendo is getting in on the game: They're hawking a curious software called "DS Chef," a "friendly, electronic cooking instructor" that guides you through the process of making more than 240 dishes from around the world. It also covers the basics, including how to properly julienne your girl's vegetables.
I say: Bring on the zucchini, baby!

In fact, if more men realized how seductive wielding a chef's knife can be, I have to believe they'd drop fantasy baseball in favor of splicing and dicing. Besides, in today's culture of "Iron Chef" and "Top Chef," it's perfectly acceptable -- even manly -- to get down and dirty in the kitchen.
And, Tom Colicchio aside, I think it's due time hubby steps up his game from Sunday morning eggs and pancakes. We all know fallbacks only get you so far when you pass the five-year mark in a relationship. And if I, as a vegetarian, can cook a roasted poussin for my man, then he can certainly take an online tutorial or two in between double-checking his fantasy football lineup.
But I know there's a glimmer of hope: Over Christmas we were watching another James Beard nominee, chef Lidia Bastianich, lovingly roll gnocchi from scratch, and the glint in my husband's eye was unmistakable. He printed out the recipe later that day, and has been carrying it around in a notebook ever since. His proclamation that morning: He was going to make those pillow-soft morsels for me someday. I relish the thought. In fact, if he does set a date, I might even invite his mother.
Liz Ozaist has been an editor at More and Budget Travel. She and her husband were arrested for trespassing on their first date and have lived happily ever after since then. More Good Stuff on Lemondrop:
What I've Learned About Women in Two Decades of Dating
A Pregnant Gal Worries She Won't Like Her Spawn-to-Be











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Monday 05 April
By Barb
I'm lucky. My husband not only knows how to cook but I must admit he's a better cook than I am (and I'm not bad). He's also bald by the way. :-). He also does more than his fair share of the household chores as well as his own laundry. He is a perfectionist though and must do things his way including his choice of the cleaning products. He's fussy which is why after 24 years of marriage I've given in to his "I'd rather do it myself" mentatily and just let him do it without too much guilt of me not holding up my end of equal household responsibilites. He does has his flaws as well so don't feel too envious of me. :-)
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Tuesday 06 April
By haojiubujian2
Your husband can't cook? Boo Hoo!! , what a shame.Get your ass in the kitchen and cook yourself. Marriage is about sharing and from what you say he's great husband. What do you expect from the poor guy. What can he do that you can't. I'm glad your not my wife..I'm 35 ,rich but still single.It's hard to get a girlfriend in my town ,most of them like my money more than like me.Ijust want to find my true love.so i uploaded my hot photos on agelesscupi d .c ooo m under the name of hot561. a nice and free place for younger women and older men, or older women and younger men, to interact with each other..if you girls see this comment,i hope you will check my photos out there.maybe you are the one who i'm looking for
Tuesday 06 April
By Jen
I am very lucky and must have done something right. I was divorced and trying to raise my 3 children. They each took care of dinner (including my son) so I wouldn't have to worry about that one thing. My son would watch those cooking shows and whip something up. 99% of the time it was absolutely delicious. I am very proud of each of my kids and trust me, each of them can find there way around the kitchen.
Tuesday 06 April
By 774477
Barb...get a life because you do have your flaws also or you wouldn't be TALKING about your love (HUSBAND ) like that
Tuesday 06 April
By Jan
Well, Your husband sounds a lot like mine! Bald, and very good in the kitchen!
But, he is also a perfectionist, to a degree.In work! Except he doesn't pick up after himself. He is young at heart, even though we are no spring chickens, and he likes to tell me how to do everything! But, I think he is the best, so it's all good!
Tuesday 06 April
By Ed
The woman in the this article is definitely high maintenance
Tuesday 06 April
By Ed
I love this woman...My husband is perfect..BUT....And women like ole Liz wonder why men cheat...
Tuesday 06 April
By Dilbert
Greetings All, This whiney un-appreciative self-serving wife can byte-me. This woman (as most) are much too spoiled and Men should stop making the vows of Marriage to these hateful shrews that will never be satisfied.
I cooked Lasagna (from scratch) for first date (with my wife (26yr marriage)) and I've not been able to stop cooking since (unless I want to eat sandwiches at 10:00PM each night. Married, two kids later and I still can't get her to cook. (Even when I coordinate all of the kids Band/Piano Lesson round-ups, I still have to get the family fed)(little time for yard, which she doesn't do either). Her career has taken off, mine has withered on the vine. The best compromise I managed was, to get her to clean dishes which are done every night around midnight.
Sure, I could selfishly seek my career goals in total disregard to Family demands (like my wife) but only the kids are hurt. I made the right call for the kids sake.
Pay attention to potential partner shortcomings before you get married (or just say NO) because they do not improve after the ceremony. (She still gave me less CRAPP than any of the other Females in my life, so, this IS AS GOOD AS IT GETS).
Tuesday 06 April
By Simzee
My old man could'nt find his way out of a paper bag....
Tuesday 06 April
By Francis E.
Parents who don't teach their kids to cook-- or worse, actively prevent them from learning-- do their children as big a disservice as they do when they neglect to teach them open-mindedness, self-reliance, and respect for yourself and others. It's basic.
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Tuesday 06 April
By Jenny
I agree. When my children were growing up,I taught them to cook,clean and do their own laundry(in their teens). I was asked why I did it and I said that they would not always have me around to do for them and They may not have a mate to do it for them.I am proud to say they can take care of themselves and their partners.My son (37) cooks for his girlfriend all of the time and she loves it.my second son is single and very happy he can take care of himself .My daughter cooks very well and some of her dishes are much better then mine(ouch I don't believe I typed that) So moms out there teach your children ,they will love you for it.
Tuesday 06 April
By Akuin
Interestingly enough, My mother chose to do everything, with no patience for teaching. I agree on the disservice thing. Because I was never taught, and am now expected to do those things on my own because she had to learn on her own supposedly....I'm neurotic...can't get near the stove without fear of setting it a blaze, Can't get near the washer and dryer without fear of destroying everyone's clothes (Which my mom said she'd replace everyone's but mine if I did), I'm neurotic about helping her clean too because I don't know where things go and she gets angry either way.
Monday 05 April
By DGB
Don't give up. Cooking is a skill that can be learned with some basic instruction regarding common cooking terms. Saute? Dice? Julienne? A good cookbook helps, but the internet is a great souce of inspiration. My recently retired husband has become quite the gourmet cook. After 30+ years of my efforts, which by definition used less than 5 ingredients and less than 15 minutes prep time as the primary requirement for a meal, his efforts have been wonderful.
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Tuesday 06 April
By Julian
Is it possible that more women today want a man that is a great cook is because most women today don't know how to cook themselves? I am not attempting to bash women here at all as most men in our society don't know how to do basic things that are required of men either. I suppose the big question here is why isn't what her husband does for her enough? Which brings on the next question of will he ever do or be enough for her? These are good questions not only for her but all of us men and women. Are we so wrapped up in ourselves that all we ever think about is how much more others can do for us? When will we come to that question of what more can I do for others?
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Tuesday 06 April
By Sue
I totally agree with you, my husband can do eveything else but cook, but we still support each other in the home with chores and everything else. My question is if he learns how to cook, will she then complain about something else?
Sometimes when you have a good thing, yeah brag about how great your spouse is, but the one thing he cannot do can lead to some very interesting conversations with friends and family.
Enjoy your spouse and have fun... remember alot of women out there do not have what you have
Tuesday 06 April
By The "Wizard"
Well Stated... Julian.... Ask not what your country can do for you... Ask what you can do... for your country....
Tuesday 06 April
By princess williams
Beautiful comment!
Tuesday 06 April
By sunny
Let's see...he's a kind, gentle man who loves her and takes care of her.
He can fix a car, ride a motorcycle and reads love poems to her at nght.
He has two advanced degrees, a good job and volunteers at his church.
He send regular contributions to a third world country orphange for blind children.
He'd s good looking, well groomed and he loves his mother.
And she wants him to be good in the KITCHEN too????
C'mon people..................
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Tuesday 06 April
By Larry
I agree. No one is perfect. This guy sounds great, so what if he can't cook. It used to be, if you made a good living, brought home the bacon and didn't cheat or abuse the wife and kids, you were a good husband. How much more do we need to do?
Tuesday 06 April
By nini
Neither of my daughters took any interest in cooking and I didn't require it. In my experience, the best cooks were overweight women. I'd have to include myself in that too. One of the daughters took up with a guy who is a great cook. The other daughter is just starting to get into providing healthy meals. She's thirty and only now realizing that you can prepare a cheaper, healthier diet yourself.
During my marriage, my husband started cooking and liking it and all the men in both our families were cooking. His mother never encouraged him to cook. Actually, my ex rearranged my kitchen to his taller liking and made it a pain for me to cook. So, I'll never complain about the man in my life not cooking. It's my kitchen.
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