CJ ArabiaSo, the Academy Awards are over. Didn't get to go to the show this year? That's OK, because chances are you weren't as prepared as you could have been. Because you can never, ever be totally prepared.

I went undercover (well actually, I was invited) to an exclusive Haven360 "escape for Oscar Contenders and VIPs to enjoy luxury spa treatments ... while giving back to the arts." There's nothing I love more than giving back -- and getting the inside scoop.

So while neither of us made it to the show this year, that doesn't mean that we can't use some swag and spa tips for our next red-carpet event / date / awards-show viewing party. Here's what I learned about what some stars to do get prepped for the show ... and what they haul home in their totes.

1. You're going to have to be as thin as heavenly possible. This is muy importante and is going to require some forethought. Don't kill yourself or do anything dangerous, but health takes a backseat to looking good come Oscar time. This is where you dust off the old starvation fad diet and start drinking copious amounts of H2O. You could also try this Red Carpet Ready fitness program designed to tighten, tone and shape your body in record time. If you're in the Los Angeles area you don't even have to diet or work out -- just visit Dr. Frank Ryan of Beverly Hills who has an exciting new "body slimming laser" (!!!!).

2. Fancy spa treatments. If you're scared of lasers, then read no further, because treatment-wise, you're going to need the works. To be really red-carpet-ready, you have to take yourself to the fanciest, most expensive spa you can find and spend the day (and your paycheck). Get everything waxed and plucked and massaged and treated and manicured and microderm-abraded and anything else you can think of. Spare no expense. I know that times are tight, but I absolutely put my silky foot down on this one.

3. Cut, color and blow out. Your hair is going to have to look it's absolute best. You're going to need a cut, color and an expert blowout. Todd Sterling of Sterling Salon in Studio City suggests getting a Brazilian blowout. It's the latest and greatest thing in lazy woman's hair vanity. With a Brazilian blowout your hair will always look like it's just been blown out ... not for a day or a week, but for a full three months!

4. Bling! It's all about the time piece. Now if you can't afford the $700,000 Breguet pocket watch try something more reasonable. Something shiny, with a big face and a flash of color is best. Your watch should be style-over-substance. It should look good; functionality should be a mere afterthought.

5. Sunglasses! You need a kick-ass pair of sunglasses and you need to find a reason to go out during the day in your sunglasses and flip them off your head while flinging your freshly blown-out hair back.

That's pretty much it. However you might want to take a less expensive route and have a day of in-home spa treatments and facials and have your friend help you color and blow out your hair. It's all about the high-end bling and the high-end beauty treatments come Oscar night 2011!