What's in a name? According to recent research, the more unique the moniker you bestow on your little ones, the more narcissistic you may be. Even Brangelina, for all their charity work, are rather self-involved, according to this study. And for an even stranger twist, this week we learn Shiloh would rather go by "John." Wrong gender, sure, but maybe she's onto something (or precociously read the study and didn't want her parents to be seen in such a disparaging light).
At five-months pregnant, my husband and I have also given a lot of thought to what we would name our first son. After I ix-nayed his suggestions of Panthro and Maximus, we settled on a simple family name: Henry.
Though I thought his suggestions were A) funny, and B) never gonna happen, had we actually decided to give our son one of those unusual names, we would have been like the millions of moms a recent study pointed fingers at, all because of what their children answer to.
The study, published in the Journal of Social Psychological and Personality Science, found that in recent years, parents have been less likely to give their children popular names. For instance, in the late 1800s and early 1900s, about 5 percent of babies were named the most common names then (John and Mary), reported LiveScience. More recently, that dropped to a scant 1 percent being named Aiden or Emma, this decade's most popular names.
The researchers even adjusted for immigration rates, which could arguably lead to fewer Jacks and more Juans. As Jean Twenge, PhD, one of the researchers concluded, "The most compelling explanation left is this idea that parents are much more focused on their children standing out. There's been this cultural shift toward focusing on the individual, toward standing out and being unique as opposed to fitting in with the group and following the rules."
Then she went in for the kill: "I think it is an indication of our culture becoming more narcissistic," Twenge says.
It's hardly surprising she would think that, considering she's written two books on the wave of narcissism slowly sweeping America. But we wondered what all the mothers of Apples and Bronxes and Zumas would have to say.
"My husband and I did not take the naming process lightly," says Chevonne Zavitz, 31, of British Columbia about her son, Ewan. "I have always thought -- incorrectly or not -- that a parent who chooses to name their child a top 100 name really didn't give the whole naming process a lot of thought."

Her argument: Kids naturally act a bit like lemmings -- choosing similar clothing and habits just to fit in -- so why would she want to encourage the groupthink by giving her kid a name so many in the same age range would also have?
Rebecca Engler*, 30, mother to twins Dahlia and Athena, takes a more "to each her own" stance: "I think one could argue it's narcissistic to have children in the first place, so it seems like splitting hairs to decide parents are narcissists based on their name choice -- not to mention ridiculous," she says. "But I think just as every parent is entitled to name their child what they wish, every researcher is entitled to her own opinion."
Spoken more like the mother of future diplomats than debutantes.
But Meredith Bates, 31, of Charlotte, N.C., who named her 5-week-old son Charleston, fired back:
"Parents who name their kids unique names think that their kids are special? Every child is special, why would I not think my child is?"
And, as for the study's assertions that parents who choose out-there names aren't interested in their kid fitting in:
"She's right about that," she says. "I'd like to teach my child to be his own unique self and not just try and 'fit in.' I don't think that's being narcissistic -- I think that's called being a good parent."
What do you think: Does naming your child Apple or Zuma set them apart from the crowd -- or mean you live to hog the limelight?
*Names have been changed to protect the innocent and their not-so-narcissistic mothers, who chose to remain anonymous.
More Good Stuff on the Web:
What Do You Want More? A Man with an Oscar or A Man with a Sandwich? (Lemondrop)
A Third-Grade Teacher Found a (Very Creative) List of 90 "Types of Bitches." We Turned It Into a Survey. Please Take it! (Lemondrop)
10 Reasons We Love Sandra Bullock (The Frisky)
The 7 Most Surprising Celebrity Then-And-Nows (Home Improvement, Life Goes On, Growing Pains... They're All Here). (Guyism)
George Clooney, Jon Stewart & Other Celebs -- Hotter Then or Now? (TresSugar)











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Monday 08 March
By Robyn
I love my name being unique. Robyn is not so out there that you wouldn't be able to say it but, especially with the spelling, I love the fact that I'm a little unique from the get-go. Also, I've found a kind of cool bond with someone that is also named Robyn, (spelled the same way). I don't think that narcissism is the right word for people who give their children unique names, I think that there is a certain element of wanting them to be remembered. I work at a day camp over the summer and some weeks we have 30 to 40 kids coming and going throughout the day. Though I hate to say it, I remembered the kids with unique names. We must have had three Nicks, four Sarahs, three Mikes, three or four Sams, it got crazy keeping them all straight. We never mixed up Rudy or Carlos, Ozzy, or Simone. Just my two cents.
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Tuesday 09 March
By leopold
Your name is not unique just misspelled.
Monday 08 March
By amishfarmer
What about naming your kid Barack?
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Monday 08 March
By sheila
my name is sheila and my dad named me after a high school crush. i think if you think about a name and you like it then go for it. i dont nderstand all the fuss. its just a name i dont like my name but i live with it. i have a 4 year old boy named eion and a one year old daughter named layla whats wrong with those names. anyone???? come on everybody its just a name everybody is entitled to their opinion but lets say you meant someone that was a nice person but had a weird name would you still be friends with them or make a big deal about it. just saying it doesnt mean the parents are stupid or the child is either it has no effect on the child or the parent.
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Monday 08 March
By Brittany
Some times a common name sucks for the child. I love my name, but its a bit annoying when there are 3 other girls named Brittany in one class. Maybe you shouldn't name your kid something compltly off the wall but a really really common name isn't the best either. There is a middle ground
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Monday 08 March
By wolfparade76
come on just because you give your kid an unusual name,doesnt mean you are a narcissists. i have an unusual name(justus) born in1976,nobody had that name at that time,and my parents are far from being it. who wants to be named michael,jeff,or chris,or jenny....lame. why make your kids name like everybody elses. having original names is a good thing if its not something that sounds crazy. 3 weeks ago i was at a bar with my wife and we started talking to another married couple and the woman liked my name so much that she told her husband if they have a boy she wants to name it justus,needless to say he wasnt thrilled. if i had a dime for every girl that got interested in me just based on my name alone id be living good. so for all you soon to be parents think about giving your (baby boy) the name justus, the chicks love it,yeah it helps that i have the looks,but more importantly i have the confidence..and lets face it if you name your kid george, or some lameo name how much confidence can they have. sometimes names make people. justus=sexiest name ever.
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Monday 08 March
By JH
I am sorry, but parents who give their kids idiotic names are asking for their children to have problems in school. The Apples and Blankets and Prince Michaels of the world are to be pitied for the idiocy of their parents. My sister recently had her second kid and I was appalled at what she chose to name the poor kid. I plan to ignore her selfishness at wanting to be "unique" and call the kid Sonny. I could live with what she named my first nephew, but this time around she stepped over the line of idiotic narcissism.
Parents, when you go to name a child, keep in mind that children are monsters in groups. They are like wolf packs. They will tear each other down in the process of determining their place in the school hierarchy and their names, if they are sufficiently different or idioticly unique, will be fair game. Consigning your children to 13 years of teasing and bullying simply so they will have a unique name is a very selfish and self-centered reason to so name your children.
Before you do that to someone you supposedly love, try to remember what you were like as a child, what your friends were like, and what your classmates were like. Ask yourself if having a unique name is a good enough reason to subject your child to that kind of prolonged hell. And if you still think it is a good idea, check yourself into a rubber room to protect yourself and the world from your lunacy.
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Tuesday 09 March
By Janan
you are so correct, I have had so many difficulties in my life with my name. i wish I had a name I could simply go up & say, Maria or Sandra is here, Instead I get Em sorry, I didn't quite catch your name, then I spend at least 3-5 minz spelling it to people & sometimes I am busy & need to get to the point of my phone call or visit to a place etc. It's difficult when you call a business & say, HI this is Janan from such & such, people are like sorry can you spell that, where is that from, oh it's different, sometimes I just wanna get life handled not talk about my name for the next 10 minutes! Believe me, I agree, I named my Daughter Vivian, I thought, it's a classy not that common, but most people can understand & pronounce it, I gave her that so she can sort of stand out & means "lively or full of life" it totally fitted her when I was carrying her, but all those crazy different names are not fair to the child who will become an ADULT. I know 2 people who legally changed their given names to something more normal because they also got sick of spelling their names non stop, I may do that myself one day when I have a little extra cash, I think in NJ it's about 300-500 bux, not waaaay tooo expensive...
Monday 08 March
By flipgurl3
My name is Jessica. It was the most popular name the year I was born. When I hear my name I have a tendency to ignore it because I assume they are talking to another Jessica, although sometimes I end up ignoring someone who wants to talk to me. It gets kind of annoying. When I have children I am planning on trying to give them names that are not quite as common as mine, not because I am narcissistic but because it's annoying having 4 other people in your classes with the same name.
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Monday 08 March
By Caroline
I named my daughter Raven-Skye, Raven from the Soap opera "Edge of Night" and Skye from "All My Children". I thought my name was boring, as a child I went by Carol. My parents were immigrants from Switzerland and said that they wanted children with American names. Anyway, I never liked my name, oh and by the way, my first name is Esther, but, my parents called me Carol, so when I was 18 I went by my full middle name of Caroline. Not that that doesn't cause any problems, 75% of the people call me Carolyn! Anyway, not trying to sound self absorbed LOL, I really wanted my daughter to have a unique name and to feel special. She is the only Raven in her school. So, I dunno... we all have our reasons! :-) She loves her name.
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Monday 08 March
By SommerLashae
My name is Sommer as in Summer but with an O, and i plan to name my daughter ShaeAnn Shae after me LaShae and Ann after my mother and Sister I don't think that is an unusual name, Isaphene may be which will be her middle name, but honestly i completely disagree, the mom carry's this child in her tummy for nine months, grows it like a seed in er belly feeds it an then delivers it, i would honestly like to see someone try to tell me i cant name my child what i want, it doesnt matter if she wants to name it John or MySpace it is her decision she gave birth so she gives name
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Monday 08 March
By Meghan
My name is Meghan. Really common, besides that H.. I like unique names. You do not have to be a narcissist to know you're special. Everyone is special! I'ma definitely name my kid something uncommon to express my personality. Nothing too crazy though! I don't want the little tyke to get beat up.. ;)
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Monday 08 March
By aldahl
This topic came up in an opinion piece in the Denver Post just a few days ago and I have very strong feelings about "creative" naming.As a worker in a pediatric clinic for most of thirty years I've seen so many silly,sad and a few downright evil names I wish I'd kept a diary of them.(The worst I've encountered were a pair of kids named Levitikiss and Satan.I think they were changed) Of course this isn't totally new.As a child a little girl across the street from where I grew up was named Anita Dick.You can imagine how that worked out for her in middle school.But this has become much more common. Partly I think it's ignorance.A mom brought in a newborn ,I believe in the '80s with little Diabolique.A remake of the old French movie with that title was out at the time.It was the only time I've ever said anything about names to a mom.I asked "It's a pretty word but do you know what it means?" She didn't..As an agnostic,why should I care? Buy I did..Happily she was brought in at two months of age as Angelique.Her priest had refused to baptise her with her given name...There has been serious thought that another factor rather than individuallty,and this is worrisome,is that a highy unusual spelling or name can be a sign of deep disconnect as a parent: that a name is selected as for a pet rather than a person without thought to long -term ramifications to a child.From my perspective names chosen like these by the young ,poor and uneducated are a red flag.The well-to-do and connected might do well (Dweezil and Moon Unit Zappa seem OK) but why a parent would lay a phonetically incorrect or oddly punctuated name on someone for life is a mystery to me.....There are countries in Europe that screen out potentially harmful names as they believe it is a form of child abuse.It is.I don't think that can happen in the US but wouldn't name counselling for new parents be acceptable and doable? Oh that there were more people like Angeliqu's priest.
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Monday 08 March
By cathryn
i mean, my names spelled a bit different from the norm, but it's a normal name none the less. having a name thats a tad different isfine, but making something thats insane and could have the kid bullied when older is ridiculous. you can't really go wrong with normal names.
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Monday 08 March
By Pam
My Mom named me Pamela because she didn't know anyone with that name. There were 3 of us on the same block in Chicago. LOL
I'm guilty of giving my oldest daughter a "different" spelling for her name : Cady Jo (cay-dee) She's only met one other girl with that name in 19 years. The spelling came form Elizabeth Cady Stanton. One of the 1st women to fight for women's right to vote. The Jo is for Josephine, my hubby's Grandmother. She was an amazing woman.
My son has a "normal" name James, but goes by J. R. because his Dad is also James and I hate Jimmy. His middle name is Russell.
The youngest girl is Kelly. When I told my dad what we were planing in naming the youngest if she was a girl..... he said you can't do that Kelly is a boys name. LOL We did it anyway.
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Monday 08 March
By Nancy
My husband and I both have quite unusual names. We decided long before we had children (2) that their names would be recognized, easy and not able to be abbreviated. So, don't disparage people who choose the "top 100"; there might well be a reason.
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Monday 08 March
By What??
I like uncommon names like Colton Roman Les and Blair there not so far fetched. But no matter what the name is a person is a person created by GOD and any who disagrees can burn in hell. This is AMERICA THE HOME OF THE FREE and if you want to name your kid Apple power to you. narcissist give me a friggen break people who are you to judge other people because apparently you are so high and mighty.
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Monday 08 March
By juwariah
i couls say that my daughter name is unique i name my daughter shariah, is from the islamic quran.......................i am 5 months pregnant if it ois i boy i will name him shahir
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Monday 22 March
By Ruth
Hello, Young Mother to Be,
What do the names mean in your language or country?
The name of a person must be something they can be proud to answer to.
The name should not sound like anything that would shame the person.
Good luck with your pregnancy. Take good care of yourself. Follow the doctor's advice...remember, you are eating, drinking, and resting for your child. Keep yourself at peace...pray...sing...talk to the baby. Have an easy, quick delivery !
Monday 08 March
By dan921
You should name your baby Twinkey or Pez.
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