@KirstieAlley & 9 Other Celebs Who Just Shouldn't Tweet

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Feb 26th 2010 By Kate Ashford

@KirstieAlley & 9 Other Celebs Who Just Shouldn't Tweet

I have to be honest -- I don't pay a ton of attention to Kirstie Alley. I liked her on "Cheers."

Yesterday, she was on Oprah hawking her new weight-loss line, Organic Liaison, and reality show, "Kirstie Alley's Big Life" -- which will, according to A&E's site, "be chronicling Kirstie's comedic and unique take on her battle with weight loss." Hey, nothing I like better than a comedic battle with weight loss.

But a few weeks ago I read an article that said Kirstie took one of her Twitter followers to task (on her Twitter page) for poking fun at her. He was being snarky about Scientology, and her response went something like this:

@jefframone WOW, you are one BITTER ...go away..play with people like yourself..cynics and well [EDITED]...

And then I learned that she publicly attacked Joy Behar for her treatment of the Tiger Woods debacle. Also via Twitter:

CHEATING is between a husband and a wife. Not TMZ and Joy Bewhore God, I want to bash her ... with her microphone.

So I (of course) went to see Kirstie Alley's Twitter feed, which reads a little bit like a 14-year-old girl posing as Kirstie Alley.

She uses words like KIRSTIELICIOUS (her caps, not mine). I'm not saying that's a bad thing -- after all, most celebrity feeds follow the I'm-Playing-It-Safe-and-Yay-Me rule book. There's something to be said for not giving a damn what people think. But Kirstie Alley broke a cardinal celebrity decree: For heaven's sake, don't answer the insults. You've got 619,000 followers. Maybe you could ignore one or two?

Other celebs who should lose their Twitter card (in no particular order):

Tila Tequila
Maybe reality star Tila Tequila will give up on Twitter on her own. After all, she's apparently retiring from Hollywood to have a baby. The baby that she was planning to have with the now-deceased Casey Johnson, but now she's marrying the baby's daddy instead. Or maybe she had a miscarriage. Or a fake miscarriage. Or maybe she's adopting a baby from Russia. In the end, I'm just not sure her brand of crazy needs an audience.

PS-How many times did I burp in my phone message?? Call at 860-256-8452 or click http://bit.ly/9FGaN4 to listen to it

Ok baby getting REALLY PISSED!!!! BABY HATES TWITTER!!! Mommy Tila going to eat 50,000 cows now & off to sleep! See u tomorrow! nite! xox

Jessica Alba
It's not that Jessica Alba is a bad Twitterer, it's just that she doesn't Twitter. She retweets. Out of her last 100 tweets, three-quarters are retweets (with an occasional three-word add-on), and half of the rest are replies. Does she have any original thoughts? Probably, but she's not sharing them with the Twittersphere. Where's the payoff for her 176,000 followers?

RT @SELFmagazine: The February issue of Self is live now on Self.com! Enter to win @JessicaAlba's cover look! http://tinyurl.com/yc7gou4

RT @cash_warren: This week felt like it lasted a year. #TGIF >agreed!

Amanda Bynes
Apparently Amanda Bynes' 266,000 followers are hanging around breathlessly waiting for her to ... tweet another literary quote. #boring.

"Love will always dissolve emotional pain" - Louise Hay

"Instead of worrying about bad things that might happen, envision the best future, plan it, & make it so." - Ralph Marston

Ashanti
Maybe it's just me. Maybe it's just that I grew up when people used to use entire words to express thoughts, but Ashanti's tweets read like a sixth-grader texting her friends. It's annoying. And nearly indecipherable.

I gotta jus say how classic it wz last night!!Doin vocals w DR DRE seein his genius 1st hand owww!!!&of course me & Game put it dwn!yesss!!

Awwwwwww sh*t its a problem!!!!! Me DR. DRE & GAME in the lab ohhhhhhh booooooy this is a SMMMMIZAAASHHH!!!!! http://tweetphoto.com/9709437

Yoko Ono
Yeah, Yoko, I know you were married to John Lennon and Barenaked Ladies sang a song about you, but that's no excuse for the new-aginess happening on your Twitter feed.

Listen to your breathing. Listen to your child breathing. Listen to your friend breathing. Keep listening.

Imagine water coming down a dry riverbed.

Whisper your desire to the wind. Ask the wind to take it to the end of the world.

Spencer Pratt
Spencer Pratt and Yoko are apparently on the same meditative high. Whenever someone's tweets contains words like "enlightenment," "bountiful," and "brothers and sisters" (in the non-family sense), I have to call a time-out.

Yesterday was great but I'm making today so much better! We are in control! Manifest positive today leave the negative in the dark! SHINE!

When you love and pray for your enemies that's when your finding Satori or enlightenment ! Praying postive things for enemies I need work!

Jane Fonda
I have nothing against Jane Fonda, but 90 percent of her tweets are simply links to blog posts on her Web page. Really. Wouldn't you think that the 62,000 people following her Twitter feed could save themselves a step and, you know, subscribe to her blog?

New blog post: BILLY BLANKS http://janefonda.com/billy-blanks/

New blog post: JEFF BRIDGES AND CARRIE FISHER http://janefonda.com/jeff-bridges-and-carrie-fisher/

New blog post: EXCITED http://janefonda.com/excited/

Kim Kardashian
A girl's gotta make a living, I guess. But it's a little hard to stomach that Kim Kardashian gets paid $10,000 to tweet about products. I guess when you have 3 million followers, you can charge that kind of cash. But geez. Don't you kind of want your celebrity tweets to be, I don't know, advertisement-free? I'm not naïve -- I know that plenty of celebs get paid for endorsements. But most of them keep their Twitter cash payments under wraps, and I salute them for it.

About 2 hit the gym right now in my sassy VATA gym gear! U have 2 check out their workout gear www.muscleflexVATA.com LOVE IT!

Have u guys seen QuickTrim at CVS? Its now available at all of their pharmacies!

Britney Spears
This is more of an honorable mention, because Britney's not much of a presence on her Twitter page. This is the feed of Britney's PR machine. Spears herself pops up every so often with a "How's everyone's 2010 going so far?" but for the most part, she's out dodging the paps. What I find intriguing is that 4.4 MILLION followers stick around for tweets like these: