We've all dreamed about dating a real life Colin Firth or Jude Law, which is why we were intrigued to hear about a new dating site called I Love Your Accent, which pairs U.S.- and U.K.-based singles.
One London-based economist says the odds of finding love in London are about as slim as meeting an extraterrestrial, so clearly some people could stand to widen their dating pool. But hopping the pond is expensive. And British dentistry suspect. Is this a realistic idea?
Lemondrop asked founder Rochelle Peachey to fill us in about what it's like to shag snag a British bloke, why we need her site now, and the key words you need to know to date in London. Hint: Do NOT say "fanny" on a first date.
Lemondrop: If our readers decide they're set on dating British men, what terms do they need to know?
Peachey: The first one is fanny -- it means something totally different in England. It's a slang word for vagina. If you've been on a water ride in England, do not say "my fanny is all wet." People will look at you.
Also, "fortnight" means two weeks. "Knock me up in the morning" doesn't mean "get me pregnant." It means "call me up." "Rubber" is an eraser. If someone asks for a rubber, they're asking for an eraser, not a condom. There's a pudding called spotted dick. Anyone in America who sees that, they fall about. [Ed. note: laugh hysterically.] Instead of "hood and trunk," we say "bonnet and boot." "Lift the bonnet" would be "lift the hood." "Put it in the boot" would be the trunk.
I would call suspenders "braces" in England. "Suspenders" in England is a garter belt. "Mean" in England would mean you're cheap: "I sat there all day and he didn't buy me a drink. He's so mean!" We'd also say, "He's nasty, he's so evil."
Tell us more about I Love Your Accent. Why now?
It's a dating site for people who want to meet each other from different parts of the world. We have people from Germany and Australia, too. But it's all about the accents. [Brits] get "I love your accent!" all the time. It can get us out of a lot of trouble.
It's a great time because so many people are falling apart, even in their 20s, but certainly in their 30s and 40s. They're tired of going to the bars. If you limit yourself to meeting someone just in your town, especially if you live in a small town, you're really limiting yourself. It's exciting to be talking to someone from London or Manchester.
You know, I'm not saying you jump on a plane every weekend. If you've got that kind of money, travel is always the best way to broaden the mind. People say, "I'd love to go to London, but I don't know anyone." Even if you don't fall in love, you could widen your circle of friends.
Do the English have a different approach to dating?
I think English people are not quite as outgoing. It can be a really good match because some American men have been known to think American women are brash. English women seem to be a little more refined and English Rose-y. However, the English women love American men. They love the way you speak. It's kind of romantic. "Oh my God! He's from California!" It conjures up some film star in the hills. We're a little more stiff upper lip, so one brings the other out.
But do English men behave differently from American men? We've heard rumors that they don't date, they just shag.
Shagging is such a horrible word! I think quite honestly if you're in a bar and the man buys you a drink, it's not because he likes your shoes. He's hoping you're gonna go home and have sex with him. I don't think English men are any different. Men are men the world over. I don't think there's any difference unless you're with a religious man.
If you don't mind us asking, is your husband American or English?
He's English. His father was American, but he was born and raised in England, so I've got the best of both worlds! Our kids were born and raised in England. They're all teenagers, but they speak like I do. When they're with their friends, they're full-on American, complete with "like" and "where you at." It's very funny. They're bilingual. I don't change. This is the way I speak. Most Americans love the accent. They try to imitate it. And no American can do a British accent. I might do a competition on the site, actually.












Comments:
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Wednesday 24 February
By Geo
Some of the "British" to "American" words are inaccurate. I came to the US when I was 10 from GB and I assure you- unless you are looking for some cockney-speaking miscreant- these words and phrases aren't even going to enter into conversation.
The approach to dating is also inaccurate. There are outgoing and reserved people in all cultures and it is foolish to generalize.
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Thursday 25 February
By E
This is awesome! Nothing else to say...
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Friday 26 February
By M.
The British are a facinating nation and for all their social graces, they are made of tough-stuff. Going way back in English history, they were beseiged on all sides by invaders & conquered many times but they always fought their way back to their independence. They have a right to be proud, and as a nation they are strong and resillient. Don't let the good manners fool you; they are nobody's fool.
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Friday 26 February
By S
There's a lot more to dating a foreigner than just an accent. Unless you're willing and legally able to relocate, you're getting yourself involved in a long distance relationship and dealing with visa issues. I met a British guy when I studied abroad there and we tried hard for 2 years but just broke up, mostly because of the distance issues (the cost of travelling back and forth to our wallets and careers; the time differences, the time apart, etc). Something to think about before you go for something like this...
As for language differences, while 'fanny' is an iportant one, otherwise you'll learn harmlessly as you go.
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Saturday 27 February
By cvaz
I've dated a few British men and am so off them. They tend to be insecure, competitive (with me) plus with the exception of Colin Firth, I think I already dated the only cute ones.
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Saturday 27 February
By anon
hehe not quite, you never dated me ;p
Tuesday 23 March
By Princess Rosalinda
I have a crush on German & British men...There's something about them that makes me go weak in the knees... I live in Canada...
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Monday 01 March
By capttimo
People come in all sorts in every culture...
and living in UK... had dates with some lovely intelligent funny women...
On the other hand... my sister gave up dating Brits.. after finding getting to the intimate stage often brought out the suggestion " lets just pretend that you are dead' .... omg
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Wednesday 17 March
By Chloe
OK this comment may prompt some defensive reactions, but I don't mean it to be an attack whatsoever! It's just an observation. . .
First I would like to say that I feel very "at home" in London culturally, and I'm not brash but demure, and quite "ladylike" while still somewhat independent. But oh, I could seriously go on about dating English men, having lived there for 4 years going to uni, then working at Parliament. . . (my long-term relationship there was with an amazing Aussie).
I still have a lot of affection for them, but they are notorious with every woman I know (both English and American) for a particular phenomenon we call the "English Guy Disappearance Act (EGDA)." Staggeringly, it has occurred in 100% of nascent couples I knew while there.
In this phenomenon there is very little deviation, aside from timeline. It may happen after a course of several weeks, or several months, but the outcome is inevitable: The man will hit on the girl mercilessly, and initiate all the dates, then act completely smitten and committed to forming a relationship, and go on to discuss future plans, talk about various friends she must meet, and pay her sweet but not overly-done compliments. Then, one day, he'll make a date that he won't keep. He may—may—text her that 'something came up,' but only in rare occasions. After that, the girl will probably never hear from him again. He simply vanishes.
Of course, since it's such an overwhelmingly common occurrence, we felt absolutely compelled to understand the reasons behind it (because chalking it up to English men just all being bastards wasn't adequate!). So, we've taken what we've observed about the English in other areas of their lives, and tried to apply it towards some sort of explanation. After much analyzing, we've come to a general consensus on one particular theory.
Somehow or another, English men have formed ideas on how the perfect relationship should be. And they have preconceived notions on how they should behave within that relationship. Therefore, when encountering a woman in whom they have some interest, they consult this perception, and act accordingly. It is oddly formal, but they try to adhere to it. However, this results in somewhat of an 'act,' since forming true passion and regard in a relationship takes some measure of informality and spontaneity. But in the cases we've observed, the man often maintains the role of what he thinks he should do, and how he thinks he should act, which is part of the general artifice of English politeness. He wants to make the woman feel good and comfortable, even if he doesn't truly feel the words he's saying. (Of course, men say all kinds of things to get women into bed, and are willfully manipulative about it, but this theory applies to longer-term interactions that span at least several weeks). Finally, inevitably, the woman will believe that the man is truly, seriously interested in her, and will start to respond in kind. But as soon as she genuinely invests in the relationship what the man has only seemed to contribute, he realizes he has gotten himself in over his head, and basically freaks out.
Rather than suffer through any sort of confrontation (unthinkable!) the men seem to prefer an 'out of sight, out of mind' tactic, and pretend the whole thing never happened. Although they know that they have behaved badly, they are essentially "too English" to face the repercussions of their actions and actually break up with someone. They're just in too deep, and cannot face the tension and emotional to-do that would come as a result of such an exchange.
Of course, English people DO have relationships and get married, so there is obviously a loophole! This seems to usually happen when couples naturally fall into a relationship without any over-thinking or intent on their own parts. For lack of a better word, they 'fall' into it, because if the guy goes about a formal courting process, he seems to emotionally stall. Mostly, it seem to happen when a man and woman are good friends for a while (because Brits seem quite comfortable and skilled with inter-gender friendships), and then realize they really like each other, and it's a natural progression to couple-hood. Because they were friends first, they don't feel like they have to put on an act; they already know each other well and are comfortable with each other. But this can only happen successfully if there's not TOO much thought/analysis of it. Otherwise, it seems to always result in EGDA, or perhaps EWDA (English Woman Disappearing Act). Since I've only had and discussed the experiences of straight females, I can't comment on that, but It would be interesting to see how it works when the roles are switched.
Am I being unfair? If so, how would one explain a relationship that goes from (apparently) blossoming, to total silence with literally zero warning? I actually think I'm being quite charitable! I could just say that they were putting in a very long-term effort to sleep with us, and once they did, they just chucked us! But since it refers to every man we dated in the UK over 4 years, that's a truly bleak view of the English population!!!
But like I said, I love London and EGDA won't be deterring me--I'm moving back there in 4 months :-) Maybe I will be completely proven wrong and meet the man of my dreams!
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Monday 17 May
By Ele
OMG!!! Chloe Everything you just wrote about happed to me. Word for word!!!
I fell in love with a brit.. I thouhgt he was the best boyfriend ever. We dated for two years and just like that he vanised.. He still have all my belonging at his place. He did all the texting, but would never pick up the phone and call.
What a jerk!!!
Saturday 20 March
By olga lednichenko
i have to admit - the British accent - is sexy
and i also think Hugh Grant invested the Bouquet : did he not?
cheers
olga lednichenko
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Monday 12 April
By you
wow wow wow what a opportunity
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Sunday 20 June
By chuicat
A respond to Chloe's comment:
It's very true.... I dated a British guy for 7 bloody years, got married for 2 years and then the EGDA! You will not be proven wrong when you go back there in 4 months' time dear. They have to be a jerk to be polite... or the other way round! Like Madonna once said... British dudes are emotionally retarded!
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Tuesday 22 March
By Spatz
Wow, you invested nine years of your life and then poof! I really feel for you. I hope things are better and you have gotten over him.
Sunday 04 July
By Stevie Boy
I joined the mentioned web site to see for my self and was pleasantly surprised. Rochelle seems very easy to get a response from, i have 2 answers from her with questions i had. I have met some great people, not the love of my life yet, but someone i am very interested in....I guess she must be doing something right as i notice another site jumping on the bandwagon with US-UK dating.
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Monday 14 March
By Spatz
Oh, Chloe's observation is right on. That's exactly what happened to me with my British man. He pushed and pursued until I gave in. He did stick around for a little while...about five more weeks, but then just disappeared...wouldn't answer texts, etc. We worked together so I would have to see him and when I did, he would just look at me with a blank stare...no words, no wave, no smile. I ended up leaving my job because I couldn't handle seeing him. We are both in the US (I am American) and it was a relentless pursuing of me, but I was stupid and fell in love. I have never met anyone like him and don't think I ever will. He was separated at the time and made me believe he wasn't going to go back to his wife, but he did. Not only did he go back, they bought a million dollar house, etc. UGGHH. We did reconnect at one point (no sex) and he told me that he could see himself with me! I will never know what that really meant. So now I have to heal and move on. He was trying to keep me on the line still, but I think I put an end to that. I don't know if I will ever love another the way I did him, but I have to go on.
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Monday 14 March
By Spatz
Oh and another thing I forgot about that was just like my British man. Chloe's comment about "falling into" relationships also struck a chord with me. I often wondered how this guy got married and has stayed married for the 18 years or so (he has two children). He told me that his marriage "just happened." That it wasn't really planned and all that good stuff. Hmmmm, interesting. His wife is also American.
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